The Redskins enter the food world (and not in a potatoe-y way)
Many Washingtonians think the Redskins need new leadership, including Momofuku empire-builder David Chang. The Virginia-born toque tweets about a takeover. If this means pork belly bao buns for FedEx, all the better. [Deadspin via Eater] —Anna Spiegel
Apparently that tweet wasn’t just fan frustration. Chang explains to the Post that he’s serious. [Washington Post] —Benjamin Freed
If the Redskins were named something less controversial under Chang (say, the Lucky Peaches?) things like Sonic’s racist billboard wouldn’t happen. [Washingtonian] —AS
How NOT to celebrate Christmas
A Philadelphia publicist attempts to trade services for a Christmas Eve dinner for five. Someone is getting coal in her stocking. [Philadelphia Magazine] —AS
Whether or not you think this is horribly depressing, or the future, says a lot about when the robots will take over. Christmas dinner in a can, for gamers too busy to stop for lunch. [Geekosystem] —Sophie Gilbert
Musical pizza
Macaulay Culkin—yes, that Macaulay Culkin—has a Velvet Underground tribute band in which all of the songs are rewritten to be about pizza. [Tumblr] —BF
No one apart from NBC and DiGiorno pizza profited from the Carrie Underwood Sound of Music. [NPR] —SG
Defining manliness … apparently
Brad Pitt eats food in every movie he’s in. Or it surely seems like it. But he’s not manly when he does it, so sayeth Esquire. [Esquire] —Chris Campbell
Here are 9 “popular” beers that Americans aren’t drinking any longer. Perhaps could it be that they suck? [USA Today] —CC
Faux foods, and food faux pas
If swaddling your baby like a burrito wasn’t enough, now you can actually dress him or her up like one, too. [Time] —SG
I remember in elementary school getting yelled at for wanting to drink chocolate milk. I blame those adults for me not making an Olympic team. [Quartz] —CC
I’m tired of people telling me I’m eating my foodstuffs wrong. It’s just a goddamn apple, OK? And the seeds gross me out. But here are 10 more, anyway (I disagree with the strawberry one). [Huffington Post] —SG
Most interesting/gross/heartbreaking food thing you’ll read ever: “Turns out your feet and your favorite cheese share more than just a smell—they actually hoard similar microbial populations, too.” Also, a biologist made cheese from Michael Pollan’s belly button crud. [Wired] —BF
I’m starting to worry for a world that thinks the 3D printing of food is a better investment of time and resources than, say, anything else in the world. [Stuff] —CC
Hot-umentary
Here’s a trailer for a documentary about everyone’s favorite cult condiment, Sriracha. [Eater National] —AS
