Taste Test: Doritos Loaded

Will the “warm nacho cheese snack” make it in the DC market?

Is Doritos Loaded a nacho platter wrapped in a chip inside a mozzarella stick? Sadly, no. Photograph by Anna Spiegel.

Washingtonians now have the dubious honor of taste-testing the latest experiment in junk-food engineering: Doritos Loaded, or, as described in the marketing materials, a “warm nacho cheese snack.” Yesterday Frito-Lay, inspired by the success of its Doritos Locos Taco, began selling this new creation exclusively at select 7-Elevens in the Washington area. We found this box—the last under the heat lamp this morning—at 908 17th Street, Northwest, which receives three 60-piece cases of Doritos Loaded per day.

So how does this one-bite nacho platter compare to the Dorito? Let’s just say we won’t be rushing to load up on the new product. The ones we sampled were a dense, slightly mushy cross between a Dorito and a mozzarella triangle, with a concentrated hit of the signature spicy cheese-esque flavor. Don’t expect any gooey deliciousness in the center, as pictured on box; unfortunately these nuclear-orange wedges possess the consistency of hard chicken nuggets. Ours were dry, as if they’d been sitting out for too long, but it’s doubtful they contain enough natural cheese to ooze at any time during their lifespan.

One of our taste-testers was a bit more charitable, suggesting the extremely salty snack might pair well with Diet Coke (and a hangover). Another said he “could see eating four of these at 1:30 in the morning with a beer”—about as close to an endorsement as these mutant Doritos may get.

In an interview with ABC News, a spokesperson for 7-Eleven said that “future roll-out plans will be determined based on consumer response,” so Washingtonians will have to vote with their wallets to keep Doritos Loaded on shelves. We prefer to save our money for those $1 snack tacos.