News & Politics

Philadelphia Needs a “Chief Tattoo Officer” for Its Soccer Team

Photograph via iStock.

The Philadelphia Union soccer club is in need of a “chief tattoo officer” to ink up the bodies of its players, staff members, and fans. That’s according to a job opening listed on the website of Major League Soccer, which is seeking a tattoo artist with at least five years’ experience for the position. “Just as tattoos are for life, fans choose a club to passionately support for life,” the listing reads.

As much as the tattoo gig is for fan outreach, the Union say the lucky needler who gets the job will also be responsible for helping the team’s players and employees from out-of-town get accustomed to Philadelphia, a large city north of Washington that was recently named the 77th-best place to live in the United States.

“As our club grows, players and staff are joining the Union from geographies outside of Philadelphia,” the job listing reads. “Given their love for tattoos and unfamiliarity with their new city, they often look for guidance in seeking a new, local artist.”

Applicants must be employed at an established tattoo shop in Pennsylvania, New Jersey, or Delaware, and be skilled in several schools of body art including American traditionalism, realism, and Japanese. But the ideal candidate will be familiar with the club’s crest and as such, as the ad says, “Must enjoy tattooing snake designs.”

Staff Writer

Benjamin Freed joined Washingtonian in August 2013 and covers politics, business, and media. He was previously the editor of DCist and has also written for Washington City Paper, the New York Times, the New Republic, Slate, and BuzzFeed. He lives in Adams Morgan.