So, we were supposed to have another debate tonight, but then Trump got Covid, then it became virtual, and then Trump said ‘no thanks,’ then Biden said he would just do his own town hall, and then Trump said ‘lol jk’ and scheduled a town hall for himself on NBC at the exact same time as Biden’s ABC show (8 PM EST if you haven’t been closely following).
We are tired just writing that sentence. We are sure reading it was exhausting. Living through it, well, that calls for some drinking.
Before it starts:
Drink copiously.
Drink when either candidate:
- Gesticulates
- Makes sound
- Blinks
- Breathes
- Is showing any confirmable signs of life
- Is on the screen
Chug when:
- Your eyes are focused on the screen when either town hall is on
- Your ears can process what the candidates are saying
Finish your drink if:
- Either town hall is on and you are still conscious
Jane is a Chicago transplant who now calls Cleveland Park her home. Before joining Washingtonian, she wrote for Smithsonian Magazine and the Chicago Sun-Times. She is a graduate of Northwestern University, where she studied journalism and opera.
