Wild animals—they’re just like us! Spring hits and they’re out on the town, basking in the sun, and crashing funeral processions at Arlington National Cemetery. But not all of these sightings are equal! So we ranked the animals and reptiles from worst to wildest (in a good way)!
8. The Flamingo Killer Fox
Not much is known about the wild fox that broke into a flamingo habitat at the National Zoo and slaughtered 25 pink birds and an unfortunate duck. But we’re pretty sure the fox was from Florida. And maybe on bath salts. Slaughtering flamingos and an avian bystander is giving us big Florida-y, bath salty vibes.
7. Straggler Cicadas
Thought you’d heard the last of Brood X, the hellaciously loud cicadas that appear every 17-odd years? They’re baaaack. Kind of. Apparently there are a few stragglers—literally called “straggler cicadas”—which are emerging now. Who’s tardy to a cicada party that’s been fixed on the calendar for nearly two decades?! Buzz kill!
6. The Aggressor of Assateague
— David Stuart Tristan (@PhotogTristan) May 4, 2022
An aggressive stallion was exiled from Assateague Island after biting and threatening visitors. No surprise, he’s goes by the nickname “Chip.” Chip is what’s known as an “Assateague-hole.” Don’t be like Chip.
5. The Ferocious Capitol Fox
Rabid fox bites nine people on US Capitol Hill https://t.co/9GyjZooY1D
— BBC News (World) (@BBCWorld) April 7, 2022
Unlike the zoo fox that terrorized innocent birds, the rabid Capitol Hill fox struck fear into the heart of lawmakers and even bit one congressman. We’re pretty sure this fox was from New Hampshire (biting congresspeople seems like a “Live Free or Die State” thing to do). Sadly, the fox and its kits were euthanized.
4. Georgetown’s Black Snake
The only critters commonly spotted in Georgetown are on pastel pants. This massive black snake? A refreshing change of scene.
3. The Tenacious Turkey of the Trails
This wild turkey is a menace! It appears the same crazy bird has attacked at least 3 people on the Anacostia Riverwalk Trail in DC. https://t.co/byu7kUNOio
— Eun Yang (@eunyangnbc) May 19, 2022
Sure, a biker getting attacked by a living Thanksgiving centerpiece is terrifying. But as one newscaster noted: “This is good stuff.” As are the “running a-fowl” puns. Peck on, dear turkey, peck on.
2. Taps Turkey
A wild turkey stopped to pay its respects, slowly following a funeral procession at the Arlington National Cemetery 🦃🇺🇸https://t.co/GMNNRq8DXB
— 7News DC (@7NewsDC) May 24, 2022
Most wild turkeys are Chip-level Assateague-holes. But there’s a rather pleasant hen hanging around Arlington National Cemetery, “following funeral processions, paying respects at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, and generally lounging in the sun,” according to an Instagram post from the cemetery. A good case for turkeys, and also reincarnation.
1. The Beltway Bear
Yes, a black bear was spotted in Silver Spring, Md. yesterday. Bear sightings in our region, even inside the Beltway, are more common than you might think, reports @postmetrogirl: https://t.co/Y9wMYIWAnD
— Capital Weather Gang (@capitalweather) May 25, 2022
By far the best animal sighting of late is a fuzzy black bear caught stealing birdseed in Silver Spring. A bear expert told the Washington Post that young bears like to spread out and find their own territory come spring, like “teenagers trying to find their way.” Awww. It gets better, teen bear, we promise. Just lay off the seed.