If you’re worried about AI taking your job, imperiling elections, or ending humans’ reign on this planet, it may be soothing to look at the image above, which is what an AI employed by the online gaming site FlashPicks generated when asked to illustrate the “average” fan of the Washington Commanders.
As you can see, the glorified plagiarism software future of computing and everything else envisions Commanders fans looking like someone who couldn’t decide which side to fight on in the Revolutionary War. Or maybe drunk Samuel Adams importuning people in a tavern about why his malt house went bankrupt, or perhaps a fan of another NFL team altogether. Hmm, you know, it could be the type of fellow DC-area residents saw way too much of after Trump lost the 2020 election.
It’s all part of a project to—oh let’s be real, it’s a project to get FlashPicks’s name in blog posts, brought to us by the company Journo Research, a compiler of dubious rankings that fills journalists’ inboxes with claims that Virginia is the fourth-most romantic state (according to Google search data), that Maryland’s favorite dog is the Golden Retriever, or that West Virginia “is the most anxious state.” (The press release asks anyone using the images to link to this page. My advice, and I don’t speak for this magazine, is: Buy shares in low-cost index funds instead of gambling! The future you will thank the you of today.)
Anyway, the release includes what the AI that FlashPicks employed thinks Baltimore Ravens fans look like: A dreadlocked Grimace who has spent too many years vaping weed?
Here’s what it thinks an average Chiefs fan looks like: a furious white Rastafarian in a culturally insensitive headdress and a Manchester United shirt?
And here’s its take on a Green Bay Packers fan, which is a traves—actually, that’s more or less spot-on. Apologies to AI. Please don’t take my job till I’m ready to retire!
Andrew Beaujon joined Washingtonian in late 2014. He was previously with the Poynter Institute, TBD.com, and Washington City Paper. He lives in Del Ray.
