Now that Kimberly Guilfoyle and Don Jr. have broken up (with Trump exiling her to Greece as its new ambassador), MAGA is in need of romance. On Tuesday Page Six matched earlier reporting by TMZ that Colorado Congresswoman Lauren Boebert was seen with Kid Rock during inaugural celebrations for President Trump—and claims the pair left a party together at 2:30 AM. While Page Six was unable to confirm any relationship with Boebert’s staff (“I think we’ll pass,” her spokesperson told the column), it kind of checks out—Boebert is, after all, such a fan of white rappers from Detroit that she once composed a rap tribute to Eminem. (As for reports that Kid Rock is engaged to someone else? There are options—the US currently has no ambassador to Tanzania, for example.)
Washingtonian adores the idea of this potential pairing so much that we drew up six reasons why they’d be the perfect power couple for this era in DC.
They’re hot in regionally specific ways
Boebert is a smokeshow by the standards of Official Washington. Few of her contemporaries on Capitol Hill could pull off a tribal tattoo covering a quarter of their body or a drop leg holster. In the 25-plus years since Devil Without a Cause, Kid Rock has honed his Detroit dirtbag style: He wore a backward fedora to the White House and rocked an American flag poncho when he played the Super Bowl.
They can get crunk while their grandkids play
Aww! Boebert (38) and Kid Rock (54) are both super young grandparents. Boebert has a toddler grandson, and Kid Rock’s granddaughter is around ten years old. That works out great. The kids can play together while the grandparents pass the evening “trying different things” and “smoking funny things” and “singing Sweet Home Alabama all summer long,” or whatever else Kid Rock likes to do on dates.
They’re both into the arts
In September of 2023, Boebert—whose campaign manager describes her as a “supporter of the performing arts”—was escorted out of a Denver performance of Beetlejuice: The Musical after reportedly “causing a disturbance.” Her campaign initially told the Denver Post that she had merely “enthusiastically enjoyed” the performance—but enthusiastic enjoyment, as depicted in a leaked surveillance video, seemed to include blowing vape clouds into the air, dancing in her seat, taking pictures (despite being asked not to), and engaging in behavior that Politico described as “Boebert and her male companion fondling each other sexually during the show.” As security expelled her from the theater, Boebert reportedly flipped off an usher. It was great publicity for the touring production!
And Kid Rock? The rapper likes to give out low-cost concert tickets to make his shows more accessible.
They share unlikely political ambitions
Despite (or perhaps because of?) her raucous political antics, wild quotes, and occasional scandals, Boebert won a couple of upset victories in her purple district in Colorado. (In late 2023, though, she left that district to run in a more Republican-heavy one on the other side of the state.) Meanwhile, Kid Rock teased a Senate run in 2017, using his concert stages to develop what the Detroit Free Press called a “theatrical, rhyming, profanity-filled stump speech of sorts,” rife with takedowns of “deadbeat dads” and single moms who can’t stop having kids and athletes taking a knee during the national anthem and the KKK. He also floated grander ambitions, rap-announcing to a crowd, “If ‘Kid Rock for Senate’ has got folks in disarray / Wait ’til they hear ‘Kid Rock for President of the U.S.A.’!” (Later, after the Federal Election Commission received a complaint that the rapper had failed to register as a candidate or report contributions, Kid Rock claimed it was all a stunt to promote his album.)
They’ve each owned a right-wing novelty restaurant
Before her midlife career pivot to Congress, Lauren Boebert owned a firearms themed restaurant in the town of—this is literally true—Rifle, Colorado. At Shooters Grill, one could chase tequila shots with a “Swiss & Wesson” burger or some “Locked N’ Loaded” nachos. The staff were reportedly encouraged to open carry guns at work. And it’s kismet that Kid Rock is also a restaurateur. He’s the proprietor of the Nashville establishment Kid Rock’s Big Ass Honky Tonk & Rock ‘n’ Roll Steakhouse, known for remaining open in defiance of Covid restrictions and for having the stage on which Kid Rock once drunkenly suggested that Oprah perform an anatomically unclear act.
They can both be…spirited in public
Remember when Boebert heckled Joe Biden while he was talking about his son’s death? Or Kid Rock’s fight in a Waffle House? Would it be responsible to put that much Trump 2 energy in one place??? Absolutely not, which is why we are here for it.
Andrew Beaujon joined Washingtonian in late 2014. He was previously with the Poynter Institute, TBD.com, and Washington City Paper. He lives in Del Ray.
