Joel Haas has dined at fine-dining Italian restaurant Masseria 40 times, more than any other customer. At the Dabney, he’s closing in on 50 visits. And in July, a decade of serious dining out culminated in Haas’s 1,000th Michelin-starred restaurant meal, at the Inn at Little Washington.
Haas documents his epicurean adventures as High Speed Dining on Instagram and TikTok, where he’s collectively amassed more than 1.6 million followers. In a video of his milestone meal, Haas was greeted by staff dressed like the Pope’s Swiss Guard and the Inn’s chef-owner Patrick O’Connell (the so-called “Pope of American Cuisine”) striking a gong.
“We’ve been expecting you!,” O’Connell announced as Haas received a blue sash with the number 1,000 emblazoned across it.
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Haas got his start in comedy radio. In the early 2000s, he ran the standup comedy channels for XM Satellite Radio (before it merged with Sirius). “Anything that made it on the air, went through me,” Haas says. “I was the algorithm.” He also recorded comedy albums and live shows, including for some big name comics like Jim Gaffigan, Mike Birbiglia, and Louis CK.
Working from home, Haas initially started eating out frequently just to get out of the house and fell in love with fine-dining. He began ramping up his dining habit, peaking at more than 600 restaurant meals nationwide in 2019. “I haven’t cooked since probably November 2019,” Haas says. His fridge mostly consists of restaurant leftovers, protein shakes, yogurt, fruit, and other snacks.
In the early days of High Speed Dining, Haas branded himself as the “stoner food critic,” documenting dinners while high on medical marijuana. But he’s since gone clean—in real life and his videos—to expand his mainstream appeal.
Unlike many other influencers, Haas pays his own way and tips generously. How does he afford it? The 56-year-old credits a successful career—and the fact that he’s never been married or had kids. “Nobody ever asks a mother posting on Instagram about her three kids: ‘How do you afford those three kids?,’” he says.
Although he now makes some money from his viral videos, it’s not nearly enough to cover all his meals, let alone any kind of salary. “The money I made from TikTok and social media this year covered maybe half of the 12 days I spent in New York City,” he says of a trip that included 24 Michelin-starred restaurants. But given that he now treats the hobby as a full-time job, he’s hoping to attract sponsorships from hotels, tourism boards, and other brands to start monetizing his passion.
As for the calories, Haas walks to and from almost every restaurant, clocking eight miles per day on average (an irony given that Michelin is a tire company that originally created its guides to encourage driving).
I recently joined Haas for his 1,001st Michelin meal at the vegetable-centric tasting restaurant Oyster Oyster in Shaw. He brings his own discreet restaurant lamps for better lighting, wears a lapel microphone, and takes dozens of photos and videos of each dish. Later, he’ll spend 15 to 16 hours editing it all down to a minute or two clip.
Part of Haas’ online appeal is that he doesn’t take fussy food too seriously; Spilling some mushroom “chorizo” on his lap and leaving marigold butter smeared on his lip is all bait for his commenters. Haas spends so much time thoroughly documenting the meal at different angles that the staff has begun mopping floors by the time we hit dessert.
“There you go. Michelin star meal number 1,001,” Haas tells the camera, after chomping a final mushroom cookie. “On my road to 2,000.”
Jessica Sidman covers the people and trends behind D.C.’s food and drink scene. Before joining Washingtonian in July 2016, she was Food Editor and Young & Hungry columnist at Washington City Paper. She is a Colorado native and University of Pennsylvania grad.
