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Are Twentysomethings Expecting Too Much?

They were raised to believe they could do anything, and now they’re demanding more from work than previous generations ever did. Will they change the world or have to lower their sights?

By Hannah Seligson Published Monday, October 24, 2011

Illustrations by Jesse Lenz

When my grandmother was 18, she dropped out of college to get married. A career wasn’t a priority for her; matrimony was. This fall I’ll tie the knot at age 29, slightly younger than average for a bride in Washington, where the median age for a woman’s first marriage is 30.

My grandmother, who lived in Connecticut, had her first child when she was 18 and another at 20. With childbearing out of the way and a full-time nanny, she went on to launch a career in politics and at age 28 became a state senator.

As a friend recently mused, “I wish I could have had my kids at 22 when I was nothing in my career. Of course, I wasn’t married or financially secure then.” Now she’s 31 and married, and she recently got a big promotion. “It’s just a really inconvenient time to have kids.”

There are obvious downsides to getting married and having children young—for many women, it short-circuits their careers entirely—and women have made huge gains in the workplace since my grandmother’s time. But the cruel joke of modern womanhood is that my career will probably peak just as it’s time to start a family. This raises more questions: How long should my fiancé, Andrew, and I wait? Should we risk running out my biological clock and needing fertility treatments? If we can afford them, that is.

Speaking of money, how would we afford children if we stay in DC, one of the most expensive cities in the country? Andrew and I have both chosen careers motivated more by our interests than by our paychecks—I’m a journalist, and he works on international climate-change policy at the State Department.

Even without student loans to pay off, we find it hard to save as much as financial planners say people our age should. I’m often reminded of the acronym DINK—dual income, no kids—which should probably be changed to DINA: dual income, need another. Sure, we could move to a less expensive area of Washington or take a job for the salary, but we’re young and not ready to settle. We want to see if we can make life work on our terms.

We’re like lots of others in our generation who—since their parents first turned the television to Sesame Street or sang along to “Free to Be . . . You and Me” in the car—have believed we can achieve anything we set our minds to.

Are we expecting too much?

For the twentysomethings who move here to launch their careers, it’s a time of life when the pressure is intense and the stakes feel high. Many of them are focused solely on work, as they’re unmoored—without a spouse or children—and will remain that way into their early thirties.

They’re trying to make good use of their expensive college degrees, and along the way they’re asking themselves: Is this all I can expect from my diploma? Shouldn’t work be fulfilling? How do I make it in a world where career paths are no longer linear, with so many options and so little job security?

Their concerns may seem trifling at a time when unemployment for people between ages 16 and 24 is in the double digits. But far from feeling lucky simply to have a job, many of today’s highly educated, tech-savvy Gen Yers are asking more from work than previous generations ever did.

They’re in the throes of “emerging adulthood,” a term coined by Clark University psychology professor Jeffrey Arnett to describe a life stage that doesn’t quite have all the contours of traditional adulthood—marked by a marriage license, a mortgage, and a steady job. The concept of this new stage was explored last August in a New York Times Magazine article that asked: “Why are so many people in their twenties taking so long to grow up?”

But perhaps it’s not as much that twentysomethings are taking longer to grow up as it is that they’re defining adulthood in new ways, with different goals. Instead of a steady job, they want a meaningful one that serves a larger purpose or fulfills a personal passion. And instead of settling down with a spouse and mortgage, they want more years of freedom to chase career dreams and explore different paths before they have to make tradeoffs.

“Adulthood is a taller order these days,” Brent Donnellan, a professor at Michigan State University who studies the transition to adulthood, tells me. “When we look at surveys at what this generation values, they want a lot.”

As a result, people born between, say, 1980 and 1995 are reconsidering some of the once-sacred aspects of the American workplace. Things such as the 9-to-5 schedule, company loyalty, dues-paying, and hierarchy are being discarded at a fast clip. And we’re becoming evangelicals for the notion that work should be personally satisfying, even in a tough job market.

So what does that mean for someone living through it?

Next: A self-importance comes from attending a competitive school

Posted at Monday, October 24, 2011 | By Hannah Seligson

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Right now, we have been dealing with an epic economic situation, which shines a spotlight on just how weak our labor force and our job market were all along. The recession did not cause the job loss per se, because things were changing rapidly in the job market before the recession happened, and we were weak because our education system was simply not preparing our young people to really "make it" or to become durable in a 21st century global job market. The recession was just the spotlight on this new reality. So, Gen Y’ers has a unique problem to deal with, which will make their "desires" either more challenging to meet or force them to dig in their heels and fight for what they want...at the same time they will have to take what they can get for the moment.

What previous generations had to learn is that you got to put food on the table and take care of first things first. The "Greatest Generation" who lived through and fought during WWII had to understand what it means to fight for the common good, what it means to work tremendously hard and work together, know what it means to put our individual desires on the back burner to support this country’s greater good. We need a similar attitude if we want to get this country back on track. We have to do a little more "grunting" before we get to the type of life that we want. The strongest/butt kicking people will survive. The whiners will fall.

Yes, expect great things Gen Y, but you better be prepared to give up some things, and you better be prepared to fight a series of battles to get what you want. No wishing and hoping, no "whyyyyyyyy is this happening to me".. kind of thinking, because reality isn’t your momma...reality isn’t your priest, and reality isn’t your motivational coach....reality is there to challenge who you are at your core, reality is there to reveal that the world is not there to be your friend, you have to make this world work for "you"...and for that to happen, you have to be one tough cookie willing to make hard decisions constantly and willing to do what you have to do to feed yourself/your family while you are chasing your goals/dreams.

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What they haven’t learned - and show no signs of compromising on - is the fact that they don’t deserve even the smallest things. No one does until they have proven themselves by the rules of the marketplace, rules Gen Y seems driven to break. And the marketplace will break them first, make no mistake about it.

Gen Y kids, you are failing to grasp a vital paradox: if you want to make the world a better place, you have to show the color of your money first. You owe the world as it is. Don’t you even THINK about changing the inequities of the system until you have put in your time subject to them.

Many generations have passed who were burdened by too much status quo thinking. Gen Y may be the first cohort to be doomed by not enough of it.

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"The Top 1%, the Tea Party, and most billionaires are narcissistic and only thinking about themselves and whether they are happy or not. They don’t see themselves as citizens within a society, obliged to give up some of their wants for the sake of the greater good. They clearly don’t think they should have to suffer or give anything up, and they don’t think about how the decisions they make are going to affect the next generation. They are completely egocentric and selfish, and they will be the ruin of our country."

There, Michael, I fixed that for you. While your sense of outrage was well-developed, it was pointed at the wrong people.

Posted by: Mrs. L, Nov 11, 2011 03:15:15 AM

Oh, look, another American who’s angry that it isn’t the 1950s and people don’t have to hide their sexuality anymore or go to church if they don’t want to. Sorry, bucko – perhaps the Middle East is more your taste? Say, you’re 42. You’ve voted in quite a few elections, haven’t you? When it comes to pointing the finger of blame for messing up the country, it points at you well before it points at the 22 year olds you malign.

Speaking of which, what have you done lately to reverse the course this country’s on, where a corporation is more important than its citizens and is richly empowered with all the laws deigning it so? Unless you’ve actively worked to pry this country out of the grip of the corporo-theocracy that’s happily flushing it down the drain – and your comments endorsing religion indicate you probably haven’t – I doubt you’ve made any sacrifices at all.

p.s. Someone who changes jobs every year isn’t hurting the country at all. However, someone who runs a corporation into the ground, runs arms outstretched to the President shouting "Gimmie a bailout!" and then works his damndest to make sure he and the other executive cronies working for him can hide all the company’s profits in overseas tax shelters is, in fact, actively ruining the country. Right now, as we speak. Tomorrow. And for the rest of the days that we call this travesty the United States of America.

But it hurts too much to blame the big, important men in the business suits. They’ve done real nice advertising campaigns since the Reagan years, and they’ve totally got you swindled. If you cuddle up to them enough, you might just get a piece of their pie, right?

That’s where you’re quite mistaken.

Posted by: Mrs. L, Nov 11, 2011 03:08:29 AM

"Older siblings, parents, and grandparents look at Gen Y and shake their heads about our high hopes, scolding us for not taking whatever job we’re offered—or for leaving seemingly good ones to chase the next opportunity. They may be right, or they may not understand what it’s like to be young when there are so many options, when moving home isn’t a point of humiliation, and—at least until a certain age—when there’s no rush to commit to anything." This lack of shame about having to rely on your parents, and avoidance of commitment when applied to an individual is one thing, but when applied to a generation or society as a whole is something altogether different. It is the formula for economic and social decline. It reflects a point at which a society has reached a certain level of comfort that it has forgotten the sacrifices that previous generations made to get it to where it is. I am 42 years old, and I see people my age and younger who clearly have NO IDEA what their grandparents and ancestors before them gave up so that their children could do better in life. People my age and younger are narcissistic and only thinking about themselves and whether they are happy or not. They don’t see themselves as citizens within a society, obliged to give up some of their wants for the sake of the greater good. They clearly don’t think they should have to suffer or give anything up, and they don’t think about how the decisions they make are going to affect the next generation. They are completely egocentric and selfish, and they will be the ruin of our country. Yes, we have over the generations always complained about our children and how selfish they seem to be. But this so-called Generation Y takes it to new heights, and they are able to do so because they lack religion and have the technological means to fuel their self-importance and "remain connected" even if they don’t know how to talk in a civil way to the person sitting right next to them. They are dilletantes and feel entitled and are placing their hopes and faith in things like jobs and fleeting excitements (adventures, drugs, uncommitted sexual "relationships") that will never truly satisfy them. They have become disconnected from their parents, grandparents and great grandparents before them, and in their vain quest for self-fulfillment and glory, have lost the great inheritence Western Civilization passed down to them over the last 2,000 years. They will come of age as America becomes a second-rate power, and we are eclipsed by less benign powers including China and Nigeria.

Posted by: Michael, Nov 10, 2011 03:30:05 PM

I don’t know what’s more jarring, that this article uses anecdotal evidence to support a meaningless observation of an entire or generation

or

the irony of writing about an ’attention deficit unable to make choice’ generation using a fleeting one-liner internet-savvy writing style.

No wonder gen y can’t make a choice, every sentence requires it’s own indentation. It’s true what David Foster Wallace said about the TV generation of escapism that has now become the TV/internet/video game generation of escapism:

When you point to something of interest, a dog will look at your hand. In the process of writing this article you show gen y is more worried about having choices than making choices.

Also, I almost lost my mind when I read the sick beiberism that is "facebook is my religion."

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Posted by: depinningnsensiv, Nov 02, 2011 09:16:43 AM

You don’t have to be intelligent at all to work many plant jobs. That’s why it’s called "unskilled" and "semi-skilled" labor – people who can barely read or do basic math can do it. A high-paying corporate law job requires good grades and lots of hard work. Sure, it’s a terrible profession to be in right now, but so are most semi-skilled trades.

People who look down their noses at education aren’t very intelligent either. Given that most Americans can’t grasp basic economics – the comments on this article are proof – I’d say we need more education, not less. Maybe you should take some "personal responsibility" and learn some facts about the world beyond what Fox News tells you to believe.

Vote for a politician who won’t offshore American jobs and your beloved plants just might come back. They probably won’t, though. Americans decided that they preferred cheap foreign electronics and voted "yes" to the model of capitalism that allows corporations to hide their wealth in tax shelters overseas. Then, they blame youth, many of whom weren’t even old enough to vote in the last election, for the mess we’re in. That’s rich.

Posted by: Mrs. L, Oct 31, 2011 02:29:18 AM

We only need so many lawyers and investment people.
Everyone wants the easy path.

Train people to be proud of manufacturing great products and at a good price and be efficient with out resources.

To be proud of accomplishment and hard work that produces GNP and not paper worth.

Too many colleges not enough manufacturing plants with intelligent hard working Americans.

Posted by: Larry, Oct 31, 2011 01:40:49 AM

"Thank you, ningus,for summing up the problem in a nutshell. Generation Y is so self interested and entitled that they think that it is the world’s job to create THEIR future for them. You’d better get your head out, and become involved in politics and change this country...at least for your own sakes if not the sake of others."

Many of these kids are involved in the Occupy Wall Street movement, much more so than people my age, because we fear losing our jobs, tarnishing our professional reputations, and upsetting our families. Young people who can’t get started in the first place have little to lose. I can’t get arrested and hauled off to jail if I ever hoped to work in my profession again, but lots of younger people feel they can. And more power to them, and to the 30- and 40-somethings risking it all to take a stand. I should be so brave.

If politicians won’t listen to the OWS crowd, and continue with business as usual – sweetheart deals for corporations, outsourcing of American jobs, and barriers to universal-access healthcare – how, exactly, will these kids be allowed to participate in society? Let’s not forget, too, that the newest rounds of legislation from the Tea Party set bar access to the polls for college students unless they spend money and precious hours to establish residency in their college towns at the DMV. (DMVs close to college students and poor black neighborhoods are closing, and new outlets in wealthy Republican neighborhoods are opening. Interesting, that.)

This photo blog tells a sad story about the state this country is in: http://wearethe99percent.tumblr.com/. Of course, some of our "bootstrap" conservative pals have swiftly and freely taken pleasure in mocking the perverse distortion of justice under which we all toil. The 22-year-old working at McDonald’s and observing that it isn’t right is an entitled brat, because when she was five, she – like every generation before her – fantasized about being an astronaut, a pop star, or a dinosaur hunter. Children should groom themselves for the C-suite from pre-school on, and anything less is failing to take personal responsibility. Even the poorest, sickest, most disadvantaged children among us must hike up their bootstraps and brace themselves for hard, mean lives.

But don’t worry, my Gen-X peers, you don’t have to be a child of the 90s to slide to the bottom of the heap. Many of us, too, are one job-loss away from the bottom. And so was our "hero," Kurt Cobain, who was homeless the day Nevermind was released. Kurt’s family history of suicide and lifelong depression and ADHD weren’t treated because he had no money, and no access to care. Our media sensationalized him and cannibalized him, just like they’re doing to this new generation of kids. He didn’t need to die. And these kids don’t need to suffer because "that’s the way it’s always been." (It hasn’t. I, for example, didn’t have to work three unpaid internships in college to get my resume even read by HR, like these kids do. I didn’t need a mandatory 3 years’ experience in my field of choice to take an entry level job, either.)

We’re scared of losing our piece of the pie, though, so we begrudge our younger brothers and sisters their crumbs.

You can rate the quality of a society by how it treats its weakest members. Not just our new grads, but our impoverished, our children, and our seniors too, don’t count for much in these Divided States of America.

Posted by: Mrs. L, Oct 30, 2011 04:04:24 PM

Posted by: bergjtye, Oct 30, 2011 09:29:52 AM

I’m trying to reconcile with "The Kids Are Actually Sort of Alright" in the New Yorker. The two world views seem at odds. This article seems to dwell on those who made exceptional grades, have exceptional career choices, etc. The New Yorker article looks at the other side of the coin. Both articles are well written and interesting. Thanks for you insights.

Posted by: Steve, Oct 30, 2011 07:44:22 AM

As one who is long in the tooth, in one’s late twenties. One realizes they probably won’t win a Noble or Pulitzer. If your smart, one starts to define themselves not by their job but how you live your life. Ms Seligson, your one of the luck 20 somethings you have someone who loves you, a salary to meet your needs and a college education to help you determine your life priorities whether it is family and or career.

Posted by: long in the tooth, Oct 30, 2011 07:43:01 AM

Posted by: long in the tooth, Oct 30, 2011 07:31:47 AM

Posted by: long in the tooth, Oct 30, 2011 07:30:21 AM

Is it unreasonable to expect that I shouldn’t have to pay 1/3 of my annual salary for health insurance for myself, wife and son? If I didn’t have to pay that I could pursue my own startup and perhaps create a few jobs in the process.

Posted by: Zack, Oct 30, 2011 07:24:57 AM

I can see where the Gen Y wants to find meaning in there work and resents the idea of a meaningless job. From my perspective of the working world, having worked for some business entities where I was just another cog in the wheel helping them to make billions of dollars to working for myself and working physically harder with longer hours.

I would have to suggest that what your looking for is more than likely to be found by being your own boss. I found that freedom you might be looking for. It is not easy to achieve nor is the road paved. It takes time and lots of energy to figure out what your passion is and how to get paid for it all while balancing the need to survive.

The way I was able to figure that out was by having my normal corporate job while I took on a second job in an entirely different world working the weekends, using my corporate vacation from the full time job to learn the ropes until I knew I could take on contract work. I can say this route was not the easiest or maybe the best way to start a business but it was the entrepreneur mindset of doing what ever it took by any means necessary to get to the end results of working for myself.

Posted by: Gen_X'er, Oct 30, 2011 06:49:30 AM

"So the question shouldn’t be "Are twentysomethings expecting too much?" but instead, "are we failing the next generation?" Expectations aren’t conjured out of dust, they are set. We of the twenty-first century will meet any challenge, so long as we are allowed to participate."

Thank you, ningus,for summing up the problem in a nutshell. Generation Y is so self interested and entitled that they think that it is the world’s job to create THEIR future for them. You’d better get your head out, and become involved in politics and change this country...at least for your own sakes if not the sake of others.

Posted by: ignatzh, Oct 30, 2011 05:44:34 AM

I meant "labor surplus" in that last post.

"i love the "millenial" and "generation Y" crowd in the workplace - you make us generation X look like superstars ha ha"

That’s funny, Justin, because the 38, 40, 44 year-olds I’ve worked with have seemed to primarily enjoy shirking responsibility, shoving their work onto others, complaining about everything, demanding the newest and best equipment and constant raises, and doing very, very little to contribute to the bottom line. The young grads I’ve managed are the ones working until midnight to get the work out the door, and the 40somethings are racing to pick up their kids from school by 4:30. Sure, we’ve had a few bad seeds among the new-grad set, but it’s easier to fire them. It’s much harder to fire the ornery middle-aged folks. They also get lawyered up, so they scream age discrimination and sue. All told, they’re costing a lot more money in wasted salaries and productivity. What do we care, though? We’ve had our families and our successes, and bully for the young kids.

Of course, many of my young kids will burn out or get sick at the pace they’re forced to go (because the people 20 years their senior refuse to lift a finger) so you’ll be paying for them sooner or later, too.

Many middle-aged people who complain about entitlement mentalities need only look in the mirror. As a late Gen-X, I have been in the workforce a decade, and that’s long enough to see that laziness and evasion of responsibility doesn’t discriminate by age. Of course, people who get irate because a few upper-class kids in the big city have successfully made money off of blogging refuse to see it, but that’s because they buy into anything the media is selling them, so long as it’s comforting.

Posted by: Linds, Oct 30, 2011 03:16:03 AM

What Gen-Y fails to understand is that every generation wanted to do meaningful work and change the world. Nobody dreams of grinding away at mundane tasks just to meet their basic needs of existence.

A college education and killer internet skills does not entitle you to push aside those who have stood in line before you and it doesn’t prepare you to handle the complexities of a world run on necessary imperfections. If you were allowed to charge in and "fix" problem A, you would upset a balance and create new problems with C,D, and E.

There is no perfect world and you are not all wunderkinds who can see solutions that the rest of us have missed. There is definitely room for improvement, but take the time to understand the reasons behind the decisions that have been made and show some respect to the people that had to make them while you enjoyed your formative years.

Posted by: Reality Ignored, Oct 30, 2011 03:11:58 AM

"My, my, all of these Gen Y’ers just can’t be satisfied with a job where they contribute to their employer’s success."

My employer has absolutely no loyalty to me. None of them have. They expect the sun, the moon, and the stars in exchange for your life, your vacations and weekends, and your health and sanity.

"the only thing i expected was fair pay for work performed, guess i expected too much."

You’ve got that right. I started out right above minimum wage when I graduated. (I’m not really Y, though, since I don’t relate, and my college program had no online component, and Facebook didn’t exist yet.) I worked a bunch of part-time jobs to make rent, and I was uninsured until I was 27 years old because the "free market" health care system decided my pre-existing conditions were too grave to cover. They equated them with terminal disease, when in reality, I use about $100 of healthcare a month – in other words, far less than I pay into the system.

Because my conditions went untreated for so long, it’s possible I won’t be able to work. So the rest of you can get off your high horse and stop your nagging lectures about bootstraps. You spend all your time being irate at people a few years younger than you, who don’t have much – you’d rather they have even less, and their lives look like some kind of austere corporal punishment scene – because you think that by cuddling up to the top 1%, they’ll help you out.

Nice thought, but if you truly do get the government you want, that top 1% will be first in line to kick you down the gutter.

In the meantime, have fun paying for all the people who can’t work because their chronic conditions turned into major illnesses thanks to lack of affordable healthcare access, or who can’t work because companies care more about pleasing Wall Street than social responsibility. I know in a few years’ time, if not later this month, you’ll be online yelling about welfare cheats and the like, but that’s what you get if you want a society with an "every man for himself" mindset.

Many of us young’uns are more painfully aware of the realities of life than people twice our age.

"The problem is that enough of gen Y learned the lessons of public school that they deserve lots of self esteem and rewards but definitely should NOT be doing hard work that employers are loathe to hire any of them.

This is the end result of Government education and business regulation. People who don’t want to do work and employers who don’t want to hire."

Congratulations, you’re another American who bought into the media myth that everyone was told they were a special snowflake. Given that most Americans aren’t in the top 5% of income – i.e. they’re NOT the people in this article, who are always used to represent everyone under 35 – most Americans have realistic expectations.

Except for the Ron Paulites with their "kill the government, end the Fed" tripe. If you genuinely got what you wanted, you would be kowtowing to a wealthy feudal lord in very short order. I think the system needs to disintegrate a little more for you to see that, though.

Americans do want to work. However, there are no JOBS. Do you understand what the definition of the phrase "labor shortage" means?

And for all those saying feminism was an invention of Madison Avenue, wrong again. The media was, and always has been pushing conservative values. You’ve all been taught otherwise – proving YOU, not the feminists, buy into sloganeering and pretty pictures – so you don’t see it.

Posted by: Linds, Oct 30, 2011 03:01:51 AM

i love the "millenial" and "generation Y" crowd in the workplace - you make us generation X look like superstars ha ha

Posted by: justin, Oct 30, 2011 02:40:00 AM

I just helped my four kids get thru college. I never saved a penny for their educations. I agreed to pay the first two years at a community college and then we’d work out the rest. None of them had SAT scores above 1200, so none got scholarships. All four are now working in their career fields making 40-60K. My youngest just finished last year, and will have her 15K of student loans paid off by the end of this year.

Life is what you make it.

Posted by: SoccerDad, Oct 30, 2011 01:54:37 AM

I’m 24, a college graduate, and have achieved more in my short career than most in the baby Boomer generation. I think those of us with the drive and education should have high expectations. The idiots in occupy wallstreet with their Ph. D in english can only blame themselves.

Want to be successful? Get a real degree and get a real job. One with marketability.

Posted by: john, Oct 30, 2011 01:54:14 AM

As a side question: Why are most colleges so nice? People throw away their whole lives chasing money so they can live the way college students live. What has an 18 year old done, but maybe get some good grades, to live in a semi-utopia. What are we doing to these kids’ minds, their emotions, to place them in an environment where it’s like study what you like, hang out with friends, have someone organize groups for you, clean up for you, cook for you, here’s a giant gym for you, there are parties everywhere, etc. etc. Then BAM you are out of there and on the mean streets with a pile of debt on your back. Let’s hope you got a degree in something they are hiring for, but not everyone can be an engineer or a computer programmer. So instead you’re going to be using all that intelligence to just figure out how to live cheaply, it’s the only chance at independence you’ve got without family money backing you up. I think it’s some kind of sick joke.

Posted by: Dan, Oct 30, 2011 12:56:25 AM

I think Gen Y does have unrealistic expectations when it comes to what they want out of their job. But as they get hardened in the realities of the world around them, it will be the ones who are sage enough to adjust those expectations who will have the happier lives.
Its the kids just graduating college who are getting the raw deal though. To get ahead they need to get into some higher education institution AND work hard to do well there. Then if their parents don’t have the means to help (thats alot of em) they enter a tough job market where if you get anything of a ok position you take it. Then you grind out for years on 45K a year with 100K in loans to pay back. You got decisions. You wanna live with roommates and go out some or get your own apartment and have no spending money? And these are those who "made it". Nevermind the kid you went to a 4 year college but only managed a 2.55. They are done.

Maybe the boomers could give them a break? Take half the over 1 trillion spent on SS and medicare and apply it to paying down student loan debt. Spread the tough love around instead of putting it all on the backs of the young.
LOL

Posted by: malandro, Oct 29, 2011 11:52:34 PM

Sorry about the poor spelling and grammar. Using a smartphone to type on a small screen, along with some improper autofix, leads to a few errors in a post that long.

Posted by: Carlen, Oct 29, 2011 11:33:28 PM

I think there is more to motives. Part of it is that when there are not a lot of options people are more invlined to make their own options. I personally chose to managing a new yoga studio after college vs something more stable because it give me flexibility and allows for the opportunity to have a job I really love if everything works out well. In fact I have several friends who are trying to creat there own businesses because they don’t like the way employees are treated. So are we expecting more, yes. But then again there is also another factor here. With so many big corporations providing most of the jobs there are less good options. Big corporations often have fairly low caps on salary for positions and require years of commitment to move up. Then while one is near the bottom every second of their day is micromanaged. Is stifling in a way small businesses are not. Small businesses are constantly looking to get the most out of every employee. This feels better. A good day of work also feels better when it supports the family atmosphere small businesses have. Meaning comes in many forms. It’s just exaggerated when you go work for a job that really just needs a worker bee and anyone could fit. That is dissatisfying and causes people to search for more even if it means leaving stability.

Posted by: Carlen, Oct 29, 2011 11:28:51 PM

Or, alternatively, you can come to grips with the fact that you’ve been led down the primrose path and sold a bill of goods and you are not the unique and individual snowflake you’ve been led to believe.

Posted by: Missy Rant, Oct 29, 2011 11:04:02 PM

with increasing life expectancy and need to work into your 70s there should be no hurry for anyone to start a family and get a high paying job in their 20s.
If you live with restrained spending, US is a great place to grow up in and pursue your dreams.
Forget about suburban house it is a golden jail. Enjoy as you work and careers always fall in place.

Posted by: 68, Oct 29, 2011 06:12:35 PM

Great article. Regardless of the points it makes or lacks, I think the true value is in the forum discussion. After reading the comments, one thing that stuck out to me is blame of the current generations on the others for giving them these false expectations about life. I’d say there are enough indicators around that show that the world isn’t always what people tell you, even if that’s what you’ve been told your whole life. It’s the people that aren’t afraid to break the mold, do what nobody else does, that get ahead. Whether doing what nobody else does means something completely different, or just being in the top percentage of a certain thing.

I agree with the comment above about paying your dues. You will do it eventually, and for those that have success early, they dodged the bullet, and for those that don’t, they didn’t dodge them fast enough. But even if you don’t dodge them fast enough, that doesn’t mean you’re a failure. I’d say the ultimate success in life won’t be known until you’re at the end. Looking short term, sure, there are some struggles, but life is more than what exists from birth to your twenty somethings.

Posted by: twenty four, Oct 29, 2011 07:14:05 AM

The problem is that enough of gen Y learned the lessons of public school that they deserve lots of self esteem and rewards but definitely should NOT be doing hard work that employers are loathe to hire any of them.

The ones who understand you get paid to do work because it is not fun are not hired due to guilt by association.

This is the end result of Government education and business regulation. People who don’t want to do work and employers who don’t want to hire.

Posted by: Andy, Oct 29, 2011 03:44:47 AM

You look at many of the great names in history, and many of them did their greatest work when they were young. Maybe even MOST of them. Einstein’s greatest work was done in one year when he was a kid working at a patent office. And this seems to be certainly true for the arts - look at The Beatles and most other successful musicians. The best mathematicians do their best work in their 20’s. The list goes on and on.

So I think young people today realize this, and feel that all the creativity and energy and hunger they have now should be put to use. They realize that it’s a crime to make it so hard for young people to find work, when they’re at the peak of their powers.

Posted by: anon, Oct 29, 2011 02:52:17 AM

the only thing i expected was fair pay for work performed, guess i expected too much.

Posted by: dave, Oct 28, 2011 08:34:12 PM

I, too, am a "Gen Yer" but I’m afraid that the article here does not necessarily represent all of us. In fact, I think the portion that it does represent is less than a majority, though they would most likely be the most easily accessible minority. The idea that young people spend all their free time blogging, trolling facebook, and seeking deep fulfillment through their "meaningful" jobs is probably only a highly accepted one because the people who do spend their time on those things are the ones people hear about. What our generation tends to forget is that just because social media was all the rage when we were undergrads does not mean we should try to devote our lives to becoming trending topics on twitter. Personally, I spend about 60 hours per week at a grueling job that I don’t necessarily enjoy but that will, with hard work, get me where I want to be in the future. During the other 52 waking hours during the week I go out of my way to avoid looking at the internet (although I confess I would be lost without my fantasy football updates). I guess what I’m getting at is that every generation must have a diverse outlook on work, family, and society in order to make the future function. Let’s not get stuck in a place where we define an entire generation of people by one specific outlook on life. And let’s not marginalize any one group as "whiners" or as "unambitious" just because they like to spend their free time a certain way.

Posted by: ellie, Oct 28, 2011 08:20:51 PM

I’d like to option this column for a movie. The key scene:

Scott: "Hannah, what is the point? Look, we all know who is at fault here, what the fuck are you talking about?"

Hannah: "Huh? No, what the fuck are you... I’m not... We’re talking about unrealistic expectations here, dude."

The Reader: "What the fuck is she talking about?"

Scott: "My work ethic."

Hannah: "Forget it, Reader, you’re out of your element!"

Scott: "Hannah, the professors who messed up my work ethic, I can’t go give them a bill, so what the fuck are you talking about?"

Hannah: "What the fuck are you talking about? The professors are not the issue here, Scott. I’m talking about drawing a line in the sand, Scott. Across this line, you DO NOT... Also, Scott, professor is not the preferred nomenclature. Educated American, please."

Scott: "Hannah, these aren’t the guys who built the academe here. These are guys..."

Hannah: "What the fuck are you...?"

Scott: "Hannah, they ruined my work ethic!"

The Reader: "They ruined Scott’s work ethic."

Hannah: "Reader, you’re out of your element! Scott, the professors are not the issue here!"

Scott: "So who--"

Hannah: "The other Gen-Yers. The entrepreneurs....they have the wealth, uh, the resources obviously, and there is no reason, no FUCKING reason, why their companies should go out and own billions in capital and get your hopes all out of whack when practically everyone who has that same new-fangled hubris will fail. Am I wrong?"

Posted by: andrewo, Oct 28, 2011 08:20:42 PM

I’m a 28-yr. old man and count myself very lucky to be in North Dakota’s oilfields. For whatever my opinion is worth, this article does seem silly and ignorant. Three thoughts:

1. Diligent hands will rule, but laziness ends in slave labor. -From the Bible’s book of Proverbs

2. The world is not getting militarily or culturally safer. Anyone counting traditional American society superior to most others in the world, as I more or less do, should be motivated to have large families, which, among other reasons, are a key military and economic advantage.

3. A dowry is better than a diploma. (A phrase I’ve coined; I’ve yet to marry.)

Posted by: Rick, Oct 28, 2011 03:04:09 PM

This article is really interesting to me, and I think it definitely caters to the thoughts and ideals of the bourgeoisie of the Gen Y’s.

It misses the point that many of us outside of the Ivy League DC/NYC circles have to be practical in our career choices; however, I would contest that those practical career choices aren’t inhibiting to our greater dreams. I actually wrote a quick opinion piece on what’s been called The Slash Generation, and I’d love any feedback anyone would have: http://bit.ly/rXbeAJ

Additionally, a lot of points were made regarding the battle between womanhood and professional aspirations. Kate Bolick recently ran an awesome piece in the Atlantic that I think is an awesome partner to this article: http://bit.ly/pZDfNG

I think Hannah does a very clear job of getting her point across, the article is very well-written, but there is a disconnect to those of us in the greater majority who have to create a different type of balance in our lives. The balance between practicality and ambition.

Posted by: Nicole Qualtieri, Oct 28, 2011 02:58:40 PM

The author has the right to her opinion and to defend her perspective, but this article was severely myopic, depending on interviews with a very small sample of like-minded beltway interns. I’ve interacted very closely with dozens of GenY-ers here in the midwest and seen a very different story.
She touched on so many important topics and then immediately dismissed them when those things (marriage and children, debt and living within means, what it means to make a difference) could have produced much more compelling pieces. This piece was wound up a too-long shallow apologetic for ladder climbing in a spiral-staircase culture.

Posted by: JoeMama, Oct 28, 2011 01:27:37 PM

I’m not sure Gen Y’s ideals are really so different from previous generations. We all start off wanting a job that caters to our passions and we all want to set the world on fire. In the US, because it is part of our Land of Opportunity myth, children have always been told they can be anything, achieve and acquire more than their parents. Then, of course, reality hits.

Gen Y does have more choices--at least, potentially--because there are more things to do, more control over reproduction, and different mores regarding career women and company loyalty. But I doubt the percentages of high achievers, career satisfaction, good/bad luck, wasted opportunities, happiness and regrets would turn out to be any different from the past were it not for a big change in the game.

For the first time in US history, the economy may not be upward and it is now competing globally. Opportunities may turn out to be far more limited, the wages lower, and the competition tougher. A lot more people may be left behind. The best and the brightest will, of course, survive, but how well-prepared are the rest to adapt to a declining empire.

Posted by: ripple, Oct 28, 2011 08:10:44 AM

Maybe everyone should watch Mona Lisa Smile. It might not have been a very good movie, but it touches on a similar subject about a professor trying to teach 50’s era college girls to challenge their traditional societal roles.

Isn’t that what gen y’ers are doing? Trying to avoid their parent’s paths. Parents who have told them stories about how much their jobs sucked and how they wished to have done something more...fulfilling.

My other point is that America isn’t China, you pick your intended career, whether it’s to an English teacher or a nuclear physicist. It’s not whining if you go out an get it, it’s whining when you expect it to be handed to you.

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Posted by: weimm, Oct 27, 2011 07:10:26 PM

I read this article last night and really felt it spoke to me. As a member of Generation Y myself I increasingly feel dissatisfied at work. I would like more responsibility and a higher purpose in my job. I’d like to work towards something bigger and make a difference in my organization.

I do have autonomy in my job now, which is something I love about my current position. I wish there was more of a team environment, which would make work enjoyable. I want to wake up in the morning and actually want to go to work. While I realize working isn’t designed to be "fun" thanks to the mandatory Blackberry we all have to work outside of the typical 9-5 -- so employers should be willing to invest in their employees. I want to work hard and dedicate my life to my career. I wish employers would thing a little outside the box.

I can’t believe how NEGATIVE most of the comments are on here. Generation Y was taught we could do anything, we were told not to settle -- so we’re not settling. YOU all taught us that. You can’t complain about it now, we’re not "whiners" we just expect more out of life.

Posted by: Amy, Oct 27, 2011 12:13:11 PM

Posted by: Amy, Oct 27, 2011 12:05:07 PM

I just knew the baby boomers would raise a generation filled with deluded, self-obssessed, overly self important people.

Thanks for screwing things up again boomers!

Posted by: GenXer, Oct 27, 2011 10:59:43 AM

"But the cruel joke of modern womanhood is that my career will probably peak just as it’s time to start a family."

No, the cruel joke of modern womanhood is that at 29, you should already have a family. By the time you do have a couple of kids and they finish the exhausting toddler stage, it’ll be too late for you to have any more. Then you realize that family is more than just raising children too adulthood. It’s the rest of your life. It’s their spouses, and their children, and a lot of people to love until you die. But it’ll be too late to have a big family then, and that career will not look nearly as important as it does now. You want something bigger than yourself, something to devote your life to? Don’t look for it to come from a paycheck.

Posted by: Gail Finke, Oct 26, 2011 08:46:04 PM

I don’t think it’s "whining" to want fulfillment from something you spend 40-60 hours a week doing. And something that you’ll likely be doing well into your 70s as Social Security won’t likely be there, and pensions previous generations felt "entitled" to won’t be there either. Young people today got a raw deal: work hard in school and graduate into an abysmal economic environment with little prospects now and in the near future. While previous generations lived beyond their means and racked up debt, this generation will be the one that has to pay for that.

I think expecting to be happy with something on which you spend more time than anything else isn’t unreasonable.

Posted by: 20something Chicago, Oct 26, 2011 06:18:27 PM

So much hatred in everyone’s comments. I enjoyed the article. Seems like "whiners" (everyone posting) are wanting to label twentysomethings as "whiners." And for those commenting, please don’t lump the passion us twentysomethings have along with the Occupy (Insert City/Location here). Kay? Thanks.

Posted by: Gabrielle, Oct 26, 2011 05:35:46 PM

Somehow I doubt twentysomethings returning from Afganistan and Iraq feel the same sense of entitlement these whiners do.

Posted by: Jason Camlic, Oct 26, 2011 11:40:30 AM

Somehow I doubt twentysomethings returning from Afganistan and Iraq feel the same sense of entitlement these whiners do.

Posted by: Jason Camlic, Oct 26, 2011 11:38:46 AM

20SomethingMomma

You actually watched them struggle to get pregnant, That’s kind of disturbing, not to mention that its probably against the law.

Posted by: Boomer Boy, Oct 26, 2011 09:28:12 AM

“Adulthood is a taller order these days,” Brent Donnellan, a professor at Michigan State University who studies the transition to adulthood, tells me.

Oh please. Whine, whine. What makes adulthood harder now than it was 20 years ago, or 30 years ago, or 50 years ago? The only answer in the articles is "more choices" (and, unspoken, "more angst.") Fulfillment doesn’t appear full-fledged on your doorstep; it develops as you go. You can’t sit around and wait for it to fall in your lap, you have to create it from what you’ve been given.

Posted by: Susan, Oct 26, 2011 08:20:28 AM

It is a pretty pathetic commentary on our culture that women prefer career to family and marriage. Having worked for over 40 years and nearing retirement I have seen the ’fruits’ of a career. I have been very successful but nothing compares to the joy of parenthood and children. Sure, it is hard work and not very glamorous. However, at the end of 40 years of career what do you have other than a pension?

Folks, career as a fulfilling venture is highly overated. Ladies, when you are at the end of your life you are not going to say, ’Gee, I wished I had spent more time at work’. Children and marriage make life grand and fulfilling. Unfortunately, most of you won’t realize that until it is too late and you discover career isn’t all that it is cracked up to be.

Posted by: Perplexed, Oct 26, 2011 08:06:16 AM

What a bunch of babies commenting on this post. Also, way to completely generalize an entire generation. This writer picked an angle and went with it. Nice work. Congratulations. I see no actual DATA supporting this claim in the first place. So actually all the ’whiners’ are the older generations posting comments. Sorry your lives are so lame that you have to come on here to say such things to feel better. Let me just tell you that there are plenty of ’kids’ working regular jobs and this article is at best a sham, unsupported, with a weak argument that somehow was able to sensationalize a non-existing topic to apeal to weaker minds.

Posted by: Lame, Oct 26, 2011 07:56:01 AM

Posted by: Lame, Oct 26, 2011 07:54:49 AM

There is no doubt that Gen Y are ill prepared to face the real world and that is not their fault. I happen to be Gen X and I do feel like I have roots in the old school, but also the ability to take advantage of tech without being a slave to it. What I find interesting about this article and also the Occupy protests is how much these kids know that simply is not true.

I am embarrassed FOR them as I read these short sighted career plans and especially listening to the OWS protestor’s incoherent wishcasting about how the world could work out if we destroy capitalism by tweeting the revolution on an iphone.

The piper will be paid, one way or the other. If you happen to hit on a great, fulfilling, important, lucrative career by casting about for the first 15 years out of college, you are not going to produce a strong and well prepared family. If you focus on dialing in your family, you are not going to set the world on fire with your intellectual "muscle". Pick one and go with it.

One thing about being young is that you don’t tend to listen to people who have "been there, done that". In those cases where young people do accept the advice of experience, those people are at an enormous advantage. As they say, "Youth is wasted on the young." So true.

Posted by: Froggy, Oct 26, 2011 01:43:58 AM

Dear Fallon,

Learn to spell.

Sincerely,

Gen Y

Posted by: Camus, Oct 26, 2011 01:31:54 AM

My, my, all of these Gen Y’ers just can’t be satisfied with a job where they contribute to their employer’s success. No, they must be influential, they want to reorganize the government structure for efficiency, become a thought-leader on web marketing and change how people shop, they want to dictate food policy. They’ve moved beyond mere career ambition with such delusions of grandeur. How sad.

Posted by: Libby, Oct 25, 2011 11:34:17 PM

You cannot will away the idea of paying your dues in life because certain life truths have absolutely no relationship to what you feel about them. Some things just ’are’.

You will pay dues, one way or another, one form or another. If you’re immature, you’ll blame it on others. If you’re mature, you’ll realize that you are exactly where your personal choices took you. If it’s better than your choices, you’ll realize that you dodged a bullet. If it’s worse than your choices, you’ll realize that you just didn’t dodge them fast enough. Move forward anyway.

The idea of having it all died the death that it deserved, not too long after it was born. Unfortunately for the last of the boomers like me, some of us were silly enough to think that wishful thinking or willpower would make it so. Then you have children while having careers and you realize that the whole idea really was just some Madison Avenue marketing scheme for some perfume and the fantasies of feminists.

You can’t have it all because there isn’t enough hours in the day and enough years in your life to do everything that you want to do and do it all well. You can do a lot but if you think that you’ll be great at everything, it won’t be so, something has to give and it’s usually your lesser priorities.

If I were to give advice to anyone in your 20s, I’d ask you what you really wanted to do wtih your life. What you HAD to do in order not to have regrets...then I’d tell you to do it. And know that you were going to have to let other ideas go in order to potentially achieve that prize.

Fantasies aren’t real. Pick what matters and give your best to it. Life is finite and stuff happens along the way that can and probably will take you somewhere that you never imagined. As John Lennon said, life is what happens to you while you’re making other plans. It’s not what happens to you that matters, it’s how you respond to it.

And regardless of your path, not everything is fulfilling. Learn to whistle while you work and the work you do will matter less than the fact that you’re doing it well. Life is far more about attitude than it is about whether or not you get off on it. If you stubbornly hold onto the latter, dear Lord, good luck to you. You’re going to have a very long hard road.

Posted by: JR, Oct 25, 2011 11:08:52 PM

Posted by: JR, Oct 25, 2011 11:01:46 PM

Dear Twentysomethings,

You do not have it so tough. Quit whining. Your are not a special snowflake. Time to grow up.

Love,
Other generations

Posted by: Fallon, Oct 25, 2011 10:47:55 PM

"We were told from the moment we started pre-school that if we study hard, if we persevere, and if we gain knowledge, we will be rewarded with a choice of profession, a fulfilling life, and an appropriate financial means to raise a family."

Yes, they probably did fill your young head with that mush. Sorry, the teacher’s unions could care less if you’re employable. And guess what, that may not be your fault, but it isn’t mine either.

Welcome to the real world. Out here, you don’t get "rewarded." You trade value for value. If you want value, you better learn to provide it. High skill jobs are going unfilled because too many young people don’t find engineering "fulfilling."

Meanwhile, just be glad you live in an age in which even the least productive are fed, clothed and sheltered.

Posted by: TallDave, Oct 25, 2011 10:43:47 PM

Bunch of whiners. No wonder we as a country are no longer good at many things. No wonder there’s so much defaulting on debt. Anyone -- from any generation -- who thinks a liberal arts bachelors degree means anything, other than being underqualified to pump gas, is delusionary. The things that made this country great are hard work, perserverance, and a willingness to pay your dues, all qualities that appear to be sorely lacking in Gen Y.

Posted by: GenX, Oct 25, 2011 09:04:37 PM

Thank you, Thank you, thank you for this article. as a person born in 1981, I’ve often had a hard time explaining this to many people. And, yes, we are/should be making our own mark on the workplace. Thank you again for this article.

Posted by: Anna, Oct 25, 2011 01:43:13 PM

If twentysomethings are expecting anything, it’s only because those expectations were set up for us since birth. We were told from the moment we started pre-school that if we study hard, if we persevere, and if we gain knowledge, we will be rewarded with a choice of profession, a fulfilling life, and an appropriate financial means to raise a family. This promise is proving to be false, and it’s not our fault.

There have been many articles written about how a university education doesn’t exactly pay for itself, and how a bachelor’s degree doesn’t count for anything. Is that really the fault of the twentysomething who just earned it? I think not. The game has changed, and we didn’t make up the rules.

Want someone to blame? Blame the boomers. They’re the ones who haven’t yet retired, who are still holding the corner offices and refusing to hire young workers, who demand a bachelor’s degree just to do entry-level (almost unskilled) work, who fail to take responsibility for their failures, who continue "business as usual" regarding the environment and corporate greed, who taught us terrible eating habits, who skyrocketed the divorce rate, and who are constantly breathing down our necks.

So the question shouldn’t be "Are twentysomethings expecting too much?" but instead, "are we failing the next generation?" Expectations aren’t conjured out of dust, they are set. We of the twenty-first century will meet any challenge, so long as we are allowed to participate.

Posted by: Prescott Perez-Fox, Oct 25, 2011 12:00:22 PM

I’m 28 and expecting my second and final child soon. I was married at 24 and realized something about life: biology doesn’t care what your career ambitions are. I watch older friends struggle as they try to get pregnant in their mid-late 30s, despite all scientific evidence that has warned them that it’d be harder. I have never stopped working and with two ivy league degrees and a good salary, I’d say I’m pretty successful. But, yes, I have passed up opportnities to make my family a priority. I am now looking at the rest of my career to make up for any lost time and don’t have to fight biology in the process. The women’s movement is a wonderful thing and has gone a long way in changing laws and attitudes. But, all the lobbying in the world won’t change the cold, hard truth: your body is only given a certain window within which to reproduce at a high success rate.

Posted by: 20SomethingMomma, Oct 25, 2011 11:42:54 AM

Are Twentysomethings Expecting Too Much?

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