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Dating Diaries: Mark Drapeau

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Want to know what dating in Washington is really like? We do. We convinced several local singles to share their dating adventures with us over the next few months. Stay tuned for their tales and opinions, and weigh in with your own thoughts. Today we introduce Mark Drapeau.

By Kelly DiNardo Published Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Editor's note: What follows below are excerpts of an interview with the participant, and not a piece written by him.

Mark Drapeau, 33.

Lives in: DC.

Makes a living: Scientist, writer, consultant.

Background: Originally from western Massachusetts, I used to run track and cross-country. I was always very smart and really wanted to become a scientist, so I picked a small university that had good lab access for students. For graduate school, I went to University of California at Irvine, where I did research on animal sexual behavior. I looked at how fruit flies perform courtship rituals and found that females like a certain type. I spent a lot of time thinking about how that relates to other animals, and it influenced my ideas about men and women. There are a lot of analogies.

Later, I got a National Institutes of Health grant to fund some research at New York University, but a year in, I was completely bored in the lab. I got a grant and came to DC to work on global-health and biotechnology issues for an internal think tank with the government. About six months after I arrived, my boss and mentor got cancer and had to spend a year or so in the hospital. I ended up taking over after not too long, which was hard and a lot of work. He passed away in April.

Around the same time, I got interested in new media and social-software tools. After my fellowship ended, I signed on full-time to study social-media tools and how the government can incorporate them into things that it does. I tell really important people in the government what that space is. I go to social-media events as the face of government.

Dating history: I was a little bit of a late bloomer and didn’t date too much in high school—I was busy with track and being the student-body president. I was popular in every circle but didn’t really belong because I’m too eclectic. By the end of high school, I just wanted to go to college.

College was different—I explored, experimented, and learned a lot. My first girlfriend in California was Vietnamese—our relationship lasted about a year. Then there was a Persian girl, but we had a different set of priorities and I met her at the wrong time. I think both of them were not mature enough to have what I wanted in a relationship.

I dated a lot in New York—it’s not hard to meet people in Manhattan, but it can be very hard to bond with someone there. Since I moved to DC, I haven’t been out on the dating scene with everything that was going on with work. When I get distracted by big life things, I peter out of the dating scene. I don’t go from three dates to one—I go from four to zero, and sometimes I leave the scene entirely for months.

I’m making an effort, and it’s not hard for me to get dates. I got back on Match.com, and I have four dates lined up. That’s too much, but I wanted to make a mental shift as a way of getting back into it. I don’t necessarily want to do it all through Match, but it’s a good way to supplement meeting people.

Your type: I have a type, but I don’t want to say it because I think it’s limiting. The looks thing to me is about how you carry yourself, it’s about your overall appearance. I like people who are put together and sexy, but not too suggestive. I think that you can be very confident as a woman without putting it in someone else’s face. A lot of women I know who are confident and pretty have trouble balancing those two things. They can’t be confident in their intelligence without telling you about it.

I dislike people who are overbearing or snobbish or have an overly optimistic sense of their self-worth. Unless you’re on the cover of the New York Times or Time magazine, we’re all pretty much the same. I don’t like people who have a heightened sense of self. I certainly don’t. I’m not one of those people trying to impress you with everything I say. I find those things a turnoff.

Celebrity crush: Sarah Michelle Gellar. I talked to her briefly right before she got with Freddie Prinze Jr. She’s not only very nice and very classically pretty, but she’s also very intelligent, from what I can tell.

Things that sweep you off your feet: Simple gestures. I’m very cerebral. So when someone surprises me in even the smallest way, that sweeps me off my feet. If I showed up for a date and they had a flower for me, that’d be killer.

Finish these sentences:
My high school prom was . . .
. . . nonexistent. I went to my junior prom but not my senior prom. I was over high school. My junior prom was fine.

Happily ever after is . . .
. . . professional writer on Catalina Island.

Romeo and Juliet is . . .
. . . a tale of romance from times well behind us, meaning I think chivalry is dead.

A deal breaker is . . .
. . . body odor.

Sarah Palin is . . .
. . . an interesting woman.

Hillary Clinton is . . .
. . . another interesting woman. They’re both fascinating to watch. I don’t love either one of them, but I don’t hate either of them.

FAVORITES
Tunes: Hard-rock music

TV: I like any show about someplace I previously I lived. I love Gossip Girl, Nip/Tuck, and House.

Movies: Action/adventure-type stuff—anything by Tom Clancy, anything Harrison Ford has ever done. On the lighter side, I like humor such as Kevin Smith.

Books: The last great book I read was Chasing Harry Winston by the woman who wrote The Devil Wears Prada. I like reading things from a woman’s perspective. I read a lot of scientific books, such as ones by Michael Crichton. He’s one of my writing idols.

Restaurant: Proof. It’s just outstanding.

Bar: Rosa Mexicano.

Drink: If I’m sipping, I’ll have a bourbon. If I’m out having fun, I like fruity martinis—lemon drops and apple martinis. With the new influx of wine bars, I’ve been going to those places a lot. I like a spicy, heavy red wine.

Sport: To watch, NFL football—I’m a Patriots fan—or indoor men’s volleyball. To compete, traditionally I’ve been a runner, but more recently I’ve gotten into playing squash.

Due to the response received in comments on this post, Mark Drapeau asked if he could write in and respond. Here are his words:

Washingtonian was nice enough to allow me some space to write about myself after my profile generated lots of comments and controversy.

After a very stressful year that saw me adjust to a career shift, then to running an office and acting as hospital liaison while my boss suffered with cancer and eventually died, to working seven days a week creating a new niche for myself in the aftermath, I thought that Dating Diaries would be an intriguing experience to have with my personal life as things started to get back to normal.  Given my scientific research background on sexual behavior, I also thought it would be an interesting experiment to conduct on myself – to analyze my own dating habits.

Intellectual, precise, and combative are all words used to describe me.  But so are shy, modest, and thoughtful.  I'm complex, and as people living in this political city should know, complexity doesn't come across well in sound bites.  Combining interesting and misunderstood yields someone you should follow over the long term to get a true sense of their essence.

Yes, it's true that sometimes I mix plaid and stripes (not always wrong), drink martinis (loosen up!), watch Gossip Girl (great date convo), and analogize animal courtship to dating (yuppies are apes in cashmere).  But so what?  Like Jerry Seinfeld said, most people seem "undatable!" from your vantage point.  Even if you don't like me, those quirks make me eclectic, unique and remarkable, and I like that about me.

Throwing myself out in public in an authentic and transparent way normally wouldn't appeal to me, but as my life and career have changed, I have been more open to trying different things.  So here I am.  Come get me.

Previous daters: Kate Searby

Check back tomorrow at washingtonian.com/datingdiaries to meet more of our daters.

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Comments

I’ve met Mark in person and he seems like a reasonable guy but his online writing and Tweeeting, and this article, show what a pompous douche he really is inside.

Definitely not straight either.

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Wow ME, that’s hateful. I love the University of Rochester! And for me, it *was* a small university (4,000 students) that gave undergrads incredible access to world-class labs! Changed me life.

Posted by: Mark, Dec 19, 2009 09:19:52 AM

Dude you went to the University of Rochester undergrad why not say the name instead of calling it a small school with good lab access. It has the best optics program in the country, a top three economics program among other things. Don’t bother coming to other alumni events. PS you are an embaresment to the school anyway.

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Posted by: university, Oct 28, 2009 03:08:29 AM

mark, please man up and have a real drink. lemondrops? really?

gossip girls? you sure it’s a great conversation starter? maybe there is a reason you are resorting to a blog?

Posted by: chuckle, May 18, 2009 01:16:53 PM

i follow marky d on twitter and occasionally read his blog. he was honest with his answers and being himself, if you don’t like it then... don’t date him! angry posts are just silly! and doc, i’m sorry to say this, but angry comments are so dramaful and entertaining i’m kind of glad you got some. don’t lie, you know they’re fun to read.

if they hate you enough to comment, they probs wanna get some.

Posted by: lovely, Apr 24, 2009 12:59:02 PM

Mark, no egoism in your posting above, your expression is human, detailed, and genuine. this effort took guts! well done + best wishes.

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Posted by: pondig, Jan 09, 2009 02:57:54 AM

What a joker!

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Posted by: kezia, Dec 09, 2008 10:53:58 PM

Hi, Salaam, hey, guys i am kanwal...
and i am from Canada but origianlly from Pakistan....
i joined this forum because i love Communicate with peoples are make good friends...and wish

i found good friends from here.
and i love to make frnds and love to tlk to ppl from diff places...

thts it abt me...hope to meet sum really nice ppl here ...and make good frnds....

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Posted by: kanwal, Nov 22, 2008 12:15:43 AM

Dear Andromeda - Well, the way in which animal behavior relates to human behavior is pretty complicated, but there are definite behavior, genetic, and neurobiological similarities - that’s why the National Institutes of Health and other great places fund fruit fly research. But honestly, why take this so seriously? I meant it kind of as a joke.

Dear A Fan, thanks for the feedback! But I don’t write a dating blog - this is "journalism" - they report, you decide.

Posted by: Mark Drapeau himself, Nov 15, 2008 09:36:23 AM

You do realize that you sound like a total jackass right? You don’t like girls who are snobbish or think highly of themselves yet you have to garner attention by writing a dating blog. Hmmm doesn’t quite match up.

Posted by: A fan, Nov 13, 2008 01:34:08 PM

And, hey mister...assuming that they can be compared (which is clearly-not clear-at all) what conclussions you expect to get by comparing human vs fruit fly courtship behavior, oh, using yourself as the object to be studied? I mean...are you serious man? What’s next, to assay cancer drugs in Mickey Mouse like mice? simulate global warming in your bathroom? Please, give yourself a break.

Posted by: Andromeda, Nov 13, 2008 12:37:24 AM

Posted by: catherinee, Nov 12, 2008 09:59:29 PM

I’m a huge fan of your courtship work, both dating-wise and your scientific publication! lol.

I was wondering if you’ve seen the pickup artist on VH1? From what I’ve read here, you might really gain some insight from the dating master himself-Mystery. And I think you’d be awesome on the show...can totally see you as Mystery’s wingman next season.

Anyway, keep your chin up big boy, it’s a giant sea out there and i’m sure you’ll hook a fish sooner or later.

Posted by: gene, Nov 12, 2008 01:47:24 PM

For those wondering if you can be so pompous and at the same time so "trying to look humble and not pretentious": I can confirm it, yes, is not the interviewer’s fault, this guys is exactly as it’s represented. Becareful girls out there!! Unless you like pompous pretentious machos.

Posted by: I know this guy, Nov 12, 2008 11:22:38 AM

Thanks Lara!!

Posted by: Mark Drapeau himself, Nov 11, 2008 09:58:12 AM

Good luck mark!!!! Hope you find someone great out there.

Posted by: Lara, Nov 09, 2008 09:44:49 PM

Why is it taking so long to roll out the rest of the Dating Diarists? I thought we were supposed to meet a new dater every day this week. Is Kelly Dinardo asleep over there? Hey, Washingtonian, wake up.

Posted by: Earth to Washingtonian, Nov 06, 2008 12:40:08 PM

Ladies, look at Mark’s horoscope - how lovely!

LIBRA - The Harmonizer. Nice to everyone they meet. Can’t make up their mind. Have own unique appeal. Creative, energetic, and very social. Hates to be alone. Peaceful, generous. Very loving and beautiful. Flirtatious. Give in too easily. Procrastinators.

Posted by: astrologer, Nov 06, 2008 08:08:06 AM

Mark - I think you Dana’s toe nail man need to get together.

Posted by: tom, Nov 05, 2008 03:19:49 PM

Geez people, put down the Haterade and go get a cup of coffee instead. You all can cast stones when you have the guts to do something like this.
From what I can tell he seems to be a good guy lookin for love. Since when is it a crime to do that...or drink martinis...or mix stripes and plaids. Man...lighten up folks!

Posted by: infobabe, Nov 03, 2008 11:07:40 AM

You just plain ROCK!

Posted by: Sasha Kane, Oct 31, 2008 08:53:01 PM

You just plain ROCK!

Posted by: Sasha Kane, Oct 31, 2008 08:53:00 PM

I’m here via Twitter, where Mark has posted about the Dating Diaries series. I think it’s a fun and worthwhile experiment. In Kelly DiNardo’s defense, I can understand why it’s often better to strip a conversation of the questions that prompted a subject’s answers: it offers a subject’s ideas and experience in a more accessible and conversational way.

I’ll concede that the questions were not deep-reaching enough to get a real sense of who Mark Drapeau is, but how many first dates do we go on that relay more than the most general information?

I’ve been following Drapeau on Twitter and reading his blog for some time for the insight he provides on social media. His work speaks for him more than any interview or single date could: it’s interesting, to-the-point and fun.

I’m totally not your type, Mark, except maybe in that I’m the kind of woman to buy people flowers at random. But for the record: you had me at fruit flies.

PS: I bought "Chasing Harry Winston" for in-flight reading, too. The women portrayed therein drove me up the wall. I left it at my dentist’s office on purpose and was shocked to discover it in Lima when I arrived. I tried to abandon it there as well, but the housekeeper put it in my suitcase! I can’t seem to get rid of it. Perhaps I’ll read it one of these nights.

If you want a woman’s perspective, though, you should try Curtis Sittenfeld. If you want some science to go with your love affairs, check out Jeanette Winterson’s "GUT Symmetries."

Feel like doing a follow-up interview to this? It’d be fun! Drop me a line via http://omgomgomfg.com/contact/

Posted by: AV Flox, Oct 30, 2008 06:49:38 PM

What’s with all the hostility, people? Get a grip! This is supposed to be fun, not an opportunity to anonymously rip someone a new one. Deal with yourselves.

Posted by: Hey now, Oct 30, 2008 01:13:29 PM

What’s all the fuss about?

I wonder how many people would even broach the area of dating. It’s a humbling experience to allow any vulnerability for most people. I think he is just having fun and the writer may not have captured him the way he really is or maybe he is like this. Either way~

Dr. Drapeau (I just like saying that!)strikes me as candid, very intelligent with an eclectic taste.
While he may not be for everyone, I trust God has someone very, very special inline to meet him.

So Mark pick up your heart and walk on from these silly comments and continue to be your smiley,sarcastic, wildly intelligent self!

btw, your mom told me to write..just kidden..LOL.

I really don’t know him...not really...I just have a hunch about him!

Posted by: enriqueta, Oct 30, 2008 09:18:38 AM

Ah, what a day of terrific comments! Thanks for all the positive and hateful vibes!! I’m happy to be engaged with all the Washingtonian readers of this column, it is so great to learn all about you. Wait until Washingtonian actually starts telling the story of our dating lives (the point of all of this)!! And - Do I take this seriously? No more seriously than you take your own personal life, which I suspect is quite a lot!! Thanks and much love, Mark

Posted by: Mark Drapeau himself, Oct 29, 2008 07:58:00 PM

Dear not impressed - It’s definitely a special, modern version of a sidecar made at Poste restaurant at the Hotel Monaco in Chinatown DC, which the photographer ordered. Talk about taking oneself too seriously - could you have written a longer comment about nothing please? Mark

Posted by: Mark Drapeau himself, Oct 29, 2008 07:48:17 PM

My first reaction was that perhaps Mark isn’t as arrogant as this article made him out to look, but Mark’s responses to the comments have disgusted me. He’s taking it waaaay too seriously and is a total dork. BTW - not gay, as no gay man would make the mistake of wearing three patterns that clash - shirt, tie and blazer. Also, that is not a sidecar but likely a lemondrop martini in the picture - you can actually see that the rim is coated with sugar and there’s a lemon peel in the glass! I’m sure he just forgot which drink he was on, right, in trying to salvage his public image. <rolls eyes> Yes, I did read the one on Kate and she comes off just fine. Mark does not because he is clearly arrogant in his own responses and is trying too hard to impress, which makes for a total turnoff. <gag> It’s worse that he uses Kelly’s writing as a scapegoat - what an @$$. I feel sorry for him - he’s clearly socially awkward and trying to figure things out to fit in better, hence the study of social media. Am I trying to hurt his feelings? No, I’m just telling it straight, something I wish he would do. No, I am not a fan.

Posted by: Not impressed, Oct 29, 2008 05:11:11 PM

I used to follow Mark on twitter. I conversed with him, from the perspective of general conversation. I found some of his tweets interesting and realizing we had some things in common lived in common locations (NY, MA, CA), scientific backgrounds, health policy, biotechnology and social media, I tried to engage him in conversation. Mark’s conversation was limited and his response was brief and his responses were on the verge of rude. In my stream I began to see him attempting to flirting with a different person each day he received attention. He did respond to me and engage conversation, but in an almost argumentative way. My theory on Mark, is he is actually the one who has to tell you he is smart or rather prove it, and oddly enough he remarked in this article, he finds it hard to find a woman who is balanced, who is strong and smart and doesn’t have to tell you about it. Oddly enough, he no longer follows me and in fact never took the time to actually engage conversation, so I no longer follow Mark. But hey, Love is for all and I hope he finds what he’s looking for! Oh yeah, Mark: Chivalry is not dead.

Posted by: A real twitter girl, not a fake one., Oct 29, 2008 04:48:10 PM

I am tempting and sexy and waiting for Mark in Cleveland if DC doesn’t have what he needs to satisfy him....

Posted by: anonymous , Oct 29, 2008 03:41:42 PM

dont you know that mark is actively anticipating and reading every comment? dont you know that he is recovernig from a 3-day work trip? be gentle. i hear he is a super nice fellow...not at all as pompous or ugly as this interview suggests.

Posted by: please phil, Oct 29, 2008 03:11:25 PM

No way this guy is straight. He might think he is straight, but he is wrong. At some point, this guy will start wearing women’s clothing and schedule a pre-op consultation at Johns Hopkins for a sex change operation.

Posted by: Phil, Oct 29, 2008 02:43:52 PM

Erin - Thanks :) I am very masculine, even when downing a lemondrop. Who orders scotch in a nightclub anyway? Mark

Posted by: Mark Drapeau himself, Oct 29, 2008 01:58:46 PM

I think people are being unfair to Mark, not that I even know him, but let’s put stereotypes aside and get to know him before being unnecessarily mean! Who cares if he likes fruity martinis? Everyone has thier quirks and at least he’s confident not to put up a facade and is confident in his masculinity!

Posted by: Erin, Oct 29, 2008 01:40:58 PM

I’m a Twitter friend of Mark’s (soon to be meeting in person). I think above all that this article doesn’t do justice to his personality and compassion. (Oh, I should disclaim that I’m a married friend.) He is a hard working guy who is putting himself out there for the world. I don’t know if I could handle it. Glad to see a lot of people are taking interest. GO MARK!!!!

Posted by: Sarah, Oct 29, 2008 01:40:12 PM

Hi Paulie - Well, I am a government consultant and writer who works nights and weekends and a lot on my own time. Just got back from a three day work trip that was a lot more involved than punching a 9-5 clock. I’m on my personal computer right now writing this. Thanks for being my newest fan and learning about me, Mark

Posted by: Mark Drapeau himself, Oct 29, 2008 01:36:36 PM

Hmm working for the gov’t and spending time answering comments and self-promoting....during working hours. Looks like taxpayers should not be happy.

Posted by: paulieQ, Oct 29, 2008 01:30:36 PM

i think these comments are totally getting out of hand. marc I’m sure you’re a great guy, and i’m sure you do great research for the government= you are S-M-R-T!

Posted by: JD, Oct 29, 2008 01:27:29 PM

Lisa B, hello! How are the "web 2.0 girls on twitter" not "real"? Many of the women on Twitter have actually met Mark personally or have taken more time to know him besides this article. What’s more real?

Besides, women have a diverse array of opinions. More and more find archaic notions of masculinity just plain stupid and maddening that some women continue to cling to this to the gender’s own detriment.

We like different things in people; let’s just hope that the right type attracts the right type--or they learn how to get along. ;)

Posted by: Tiffany Winman, Oct 29, 2008 01:23:33 PM

Lisa B, hello! How are the "Web 2.0 girls on Twitter" not "real"? Many of the women on Twitter have actually met Mark personally or have taken more time to know him besides this article. What’s more real?

Besides, women have a diverse array of opinions. More and more find archaic notions of masculinity just plain stupid and maddening that some women continue to cling to this to the gender’s own detriment.

We like different things in people; let’s just hope that the right type attracts the right type--or they learn how to get along. ;)

Posted by: Tiffany Winman, Oct 29, 2008 01:19:37 PM

From Lisa B: "level most girls (real ones, not the web 2.0 ones on twitter)" - a la Sarah Palin’s real America. Had to laugh at that one. What exactly constitutes a "real girl"? And how would one know that I, for example, am not one? Perhaps I am insufficiently catty? Inquiring minds want to know...

Posted by: Jasmine, Oct 29, 2008 01:15:04 PM

Hi Lisa - What’s a web 2.0 girl? Do you have a Blackberry or iPhone? Do you use Match.com? Do you read and comment on blogs? YOU are a "web 2.0 girl" yourself, doncha know? Thanks for being such a fan! Mark :)

Posted by: Mark Drapeau himself, Oct 29, 2008 01:12:06 PM

OK I’ve read thru the profile and seen the picture, and read thru the comments. All these people are saying is: "Don’t believe what is written, and don’t believe what he looks like!--He’s actually a nice guy and actually better looking."

Really? Well I’ll be darned. Cockiness can be attractive in small doses, but it looks like Mark has reached a level of bumptiousness, a level most girls (real ones, not the web 2.0 ones on twitter)find just immature and silly. Perhaps one too many "How To Pick Up Women" books read? Oh I forgot, Kelly wrote this profile badly, so it just sounds like he’s too cocksure.

Mark, having been the lucky recipients of you as a match on Match.com, I can say your profile there is very similar to your profile here...including the picture. Maybe Kelly DiNardo had a hand in that too?

Posted by: Lisa B., Oct 29, 2008 12:54:59 PM

Big turn off: men with martinis. Sorry to be sexist but it’s not for you...it’s not.

Posted by: DC Fab, Oct 29, 2008 12:52:54 PM

I like spicy, heavy red wines too. None of those watery reds for me! Good thing all of Twitter is on your side. Everyone else can take a flying leap, right?

Posted by: Heidi @hzhealy, Oct 29, 2008 12:49:23 PM

Yo pho_1_1 (cute name btw) it’s true that I sent some people texts and emails to tell them about the profile (who wouldn’t) but it’s also true that I know most of them from real life. But it seems like you know something about "virtual world nicknames" yourself. Hey geniuses, this article is in the virtual world in case no one noticed. Is it any less real?

Posted by: Mark Drapeau himself, Oct 29, 2008 12:31:57 PM

Heart - Please find me on Facebook :)

Posted by: Mark Drapeau himself, Oct 29, 2008 12:24:20 PM

Well looks like this guy’s online friends from the virtual world have come to the rescue, and positive comments now outnumber negative ones.

phew!

Posted by: pho_1_1, Oct 29, 2008 12:23:28 PM

Kelly!!! WTF? Mark is awesome and this write-up is just short of a trainwreck. Requesting a do-over. You both can do better. He’s a sweet, honest, incredibly real person. And, damn you just threw him under the bus.

Posted by: NYC Friend, Oct 29, 2008 12:23:17 PM

One thing I find fascinating is the lack of snarky mean-spirited comments by men on Kate’s profile the day before mine.

Posted by: Mark Drapeau himself, Oct 29, 2008 12:18:44 PM

Where is SJP and the catchy, ringtone-like music of SATC when we need it? He’s cuter than I would say 70% of the guys the SATC girls dated. And they were all ACTORS in real life!

Um, sorry, did I take the dating column metaphor too far? I can’t wait to see how the coverage of the dates turn out.

Posted by: heart, Oct 29, 2008 12:16:53 PM

I follow Mark on Twitter and I enjoy talking to him. Though I’ve never met him in person, he comes across as smart and sweet. I think this piece is poorly written, and having endured a few poorly written pieces about myself, I am sympathetic to Mark. Cheers, Mark! Good luck with this! :)

--Liz

Posted by: Liz | @lizwebpage, Oct 29, 2008 12:16:12 PM

EZ - Thanks for the thoughtful comments - Mark

Posted by: Mark Drapeau himself, Oct 29, 2008 12:13:23 PM

Some of you are being a little harsh... What’s wrong with letting people know you’re smart? If you are, you are, and you know it. There’s proof in good grades, high SAT scores, advanced degrees, etc., so why should Mark pretend otherwise?

But a smart guy that’s also social? That’s rare!

Posted by: tericee, Oct 29, 2008 12:09:51 PM

I simply have to applaud Mark for a)putting himself out there and being honest, and b)answering all the comments - positive or negative.

I just don’t understand why someone would call him a pseudo-intellectual. The guy is a bloody PhD, well published, and really well read. He receives money to think and to do research.

Also, yes, dating people from other cultures is hard and eye-opening. I’ve done it, and it is experimentation. We aren’t blind. I’m sure that if Mark would explain more about fruit flies, you would see that it jibes with the Greek’s theory of "Like likes like." So yes - for a student of science to be attracted to people from different ethnicities, especially as his first serious GFs, I would say kudos. It means that he is willing to step out of his assumed social comfort zone.

And finally, asking a guy his *type* is a veritable Catch-22. It’s a minefield. If he would have said blond hair blue eyed beauty, the board would have called him a Nazi. He chose not to specify, and you crucified him for that too! He’s human. Deal with it.

Posted by: ez, Oct 29, 2008 12:09:32 PM

Posted by: ez, Oct 29, 2008 12:06:08 PM

I’m a bit shocked too by the comments. I met Mark at a recent event where he was one of a trio of dashingly dressed men - so rare to see in DC and found him fun and charming (and now follow him on Twitter).

But even if I hadn’t met him, I still would have read his story with an understanding that 1) it is incredibly difficult to put yourself out there for this kind of a story, 2) people are complicated and expressing yourself in a quick interview is excruciatingly difficult and 3) that reporters often sensationalize (my write-ups have been consistently embarrassing so I know).

Posted by: Jasmine, Oct 29, 2008 12:05:49 PM

i’ve seen the dudes on dating sites. you know what this guy is? a diamond in the rough. keep that chin up, mark :).

Posted by: frani , Oct 29, 2008 11:58:55 AM

It’s interseting how "daters" rhymes with "haters."

I follow Mark on Twitter and recently met him. I like him, and he comes across as very candid and earnest.

There’s somebody for everyone, right?

Posted by: Bill M, Oct 29, 2008 11:58:35 AM

Sasha and others, thanks. The great Julia Allison said it best when she was talking about public relations and writing, "If you have feelings, you’re in the wrong business!"

Posted by: Mark Drapeau himself, Oct 29, 2008 11:57:09 AM

For those who are wondering from whence came the positive reviews, look at this solicitation:

No one likes being thrown under a bus, so if you’d like to pull me out, comment nicely and show me the Twitter love (http://is.gd/53da)!!!

Posted by: jess, Oct 29, 2008 11:55:33 AM

Sara - It’s not that what was said was technically incorrect, it’s that 80% of it (a lot of the interesting and relevant stuff, IMHO) was cut out, leaving no context. For example, my job is "working for the government" - Um, really, I am a scientist, web entrepreneur, government consultant, and writer. Hmm, a little more interesting, right? This is a terrible "profile" of me. Hope you stick through the series to see the "real me" come out!

Posted by: Mark Drapeau himself, Oct 29, 2008 11:55:18 AM

Wow, ladies, take it easy on Mark. This article and photograph do not do him justice. He is definitely much better looking in person and even has a humble shyness about him at times. He is very intelligent, and nothing is wrong in owning that.

I personally really like guys who are cool about drinking wine and fruity drinks and totally dig guys into reading and learning more about material on women’s perspectives. Who wouldn’t??? Guys already bash other guys for not sticking to the increasingly challenged macho stereotype ; do we really want the women to help with this idiotic bashing?

Posted by: Tiffany Winman, Oct 29, 2008 11:54:16 AM

Hmm...Mark seems nice and interesting (tho the write up was a bit weak. Not sure why some of the commentators are so upset. They seem a bit (how did Obama put it?)...bitter. Anyone who likes Proof and the Pats is good in my book.

Posted by: Jess, Oct 29, 2008 11:53:33 AM

Read the full article twice. I am struck by how cruel and snarky some of the comments are on this article. Am not sure why some people made their comments so unkind and personal.

As I see it we are all in this big world, trying to make sense of relationships, even after the wedding ring. No one EVER fully arrives...

Mark, just be who you are. There is nothing wrong with liking fruity drinks or studying the sex lives of fruit flies. Okay, it’s a bit amusing, but then if we are all honest, we all have some pretty funny idiosycracies.

You have a great Twitter presense, most women there think your funny, smart, and at times insightful.

Don’t listen to the throngs, listen to your inner voice.

Best of luck to you on the dating scene. Is not a place for the faint hearted. =)

Posted by: Sasha Kane, Oct 29, 2008 11:50:35 AM

This is an interview, right? Everything that was said up there was sad by him. So how can he say this was a hit piece by the writer? He said it all.

Posted by: Sara, Oct 29, 2008 11:48:20 AM

I think that it is unfortunate that when Washingtonian had an opportunity to bring together a series on dating in a fresh, new, interesting way, they instead decide to publish vague anecdotes that clearly required absolutely no journalistic standards whatsoever. I don’t know Kelly - I’m sure she’s a lovely writer - but I don’t understand why she wouldn’t do a little writing here. There are no clarifying bullet points, no idea as to the questions that generated the responses. This whole series just reiterates the argument that journalists are lazy...something I fight against every day. Sigh. And I really like the Washingtonian.

Posted by: Jaded, Oct 29, 2008 11:41:40 AM

I know Mark and he is probably one of the most modest people you will ever meet, despite the way in which this article portrays him. I imagine being profiled in an article written specifically for a "Dating Diary" is tough, so good for him for going through with this. Dating is hard enough but I am sure it will be amplified for him knowing other people will be reading about them.

Posted by: Amanda, Oct 29, 2008 11:37:03 AM

I’m married and not in the dating game. Having said that, I follow Mark on Twitter and find him to be thoughtful and incisive. And yes, very smart--and I’m in Mensa, so I should know. ;-)

Mark, you’re doing the right thing by being honest about yourself. I don’t read any egotism in your statements here, but clearly I’m in the minority.

Posted by: Heather, Oct 29, 2008 11:32:25 AM

Seriously, why would anyone subject themselves to an interview with Ms. DiNardo after seeing the hit job done on Mark? Can you ladies sense a caricature here? Done for effect, without considering the human being she was lampooning?

Ms. DiNardo wants web site hits. She gets them with this silliness. I dare any of you snarky comment ladies to submit to an interview - let’s see how absurd you look. Double dare.

Posted by: Another JB, Oct 29, 2008 11:29:12 AM

Gina, I think there are a very limited number of people whose "type" ANYONE is; that’s why it’s so hard to find someone really special. But thanks for ripping into me today! Mark :)

Posted by: Mark Drapeau himself, Oct 29, 2008 11:17:16 AM

Hi ’tranh’ - It was obviously not well-conveyed by the reporter, but since I grew up in western Massachusetts and went to college in upstate New York, I hadn’t experieenced meeting people of many different cultures before. It was exploratory because people that grew up overseas and had different (say) cultures at home had different hobbies and interests and different ways of looking at things that helped me grow as a person! That was what I really learned about while dating in California. Sorry the magazine didn’t make it more clear for the readers! :)

Posted by: Mark Drapeau himself, Oct 29, 2008 11:08:43 AM

"I have a type, but I don’t want to say it because I think it’s limiting."

And I’m sure there are a VERY limited number of girls whose type YOU are.

Posted by: Gina, Oct 29, 2008 11:07:53 AM

You forgot to mention you’re video music star. I am sure that will help reel in the cheerleader types your so fond of ;)

Posted by: csuspect, Oct 29, 2008 11:06:11 AM

i would like to know why dating a "Vietnamese girl" or a "Persian girl" is part of your "exploring and experimenting phase." why does it even matter what race you were dating, anyways?

is this...part of the stuff from the blog, stuffwhitepeoplelikes?

Posted by: tranh, Oct 29, 2008 10:52:11 AM

No kidding! I have no idea why they asked me so much about what I did in high school. Lame, right?

Posted by: Mark Drapeau himself, Oct 29, 2008 10:33:47 AM

Hey buddy, high school track was 10 years ago.

Posted by: Diane, Oct 29, 2008 08:49:25 AM

That’s nice, Diane! It’s called being eclectic and trying new things. You seemed to have missed the parts about running track, drinking bourbon, and being a scientist. No worries!

Posted by: Mark Drapeau himself, Oct 29, 2008 08:36:31 AM

“Chivalry is dead” except he expects girls to bring him flowers on dates? What kind of man likes to watch Gossip Girl, read Chasing Harry Winston, the Devil Wears Prada, and other books from “women’s perspectives”?
Go drink another fruity martini. Make sure when you leave the bar you’re not forgetting your purse, lipstick, or trip over your high-heels.

P.S. Michael Crichton is not a science writer. It’s called science-fiction. As in fiction.

Posted by: diane, Oct 29, 2008 08:20:37 AM

Everyone should know that I didn’t write this! It’s called journalism, folks...they tell it like they want to! :)

Posted by: Mark Drapeau himself, Oct 29, 2008 07:03:40 AM

Wow, lots of love on the comment board! You know, I didn’t write this stuff - they ask you if you’re smart or dumb, and you’re smart, you say "smart" and they write it up. I like smart people, but not smart people who are always putting it out there. It’s how you carry yourself!

VV - I forgive you, but it’s actually not a martini, it’s a sidecar. We took pics at Poste in Chinatown. Thanks for nice comments!

JB - Don’t know who you are but thanks! :)

Gentle Touch - I’m not hard to find, ha ha.

Chasing Harry Winston is a revealing book aout modern urban culture. I didn’t say it was Little Women or 1984. I read it on a plane.

Thanks for the comments!! Mark

Posted by: Mark Drapeau himself, Oct 29, 2008 06:36:29 AM

Mark,

I want to appeal to your cerebrarellum with simple gestures.

Posted by: Gentle Touch, Oct 28, 2008 09:58:56 PM

In his defense, this guy is way better looking in person. This is a terrible photograph.

Posted by: JB, Oct 28, 2008 05:17:35 PM

I couldn’t look past the fruity martini as far as sexual appeal goes- I would have considered another prop in the picture - But in your defense, you portrayed yourself honestly to the public and someone out there might appreciate that -- Even though you are overly-confident, enjoy fruity martinis, and are into men’s indoor volleyball at least you OWN it!! Rock on

Posted by: VV, Oct 28, 2008 04:46:28 PM

This guy cannot be for real. No semi-intelligent human being would allow himself to come across as such a pompous jerk, right? Conceited beyond belief!

Posted by: Kerry, Oct 28, 2008 04:42:43 PM

Loved the "always very smart" about 10 words in.

Posted by: ha, Oct 28, 2008 03:28:59 PM

I hope those four women from Match read this article and cancel their dates with this pompous, pseudo-intellectual ass immediately.

Posted by: CB, Oct 28, 2008 01:29:59 PM

Absolutely concur with "totally turned off". This is exactly the type of guy DC has too many of already. He probably thought he had a chance with Sarah Michelle Gellar, too.

P.S. No "very smart" person would call ’Chasing Harry Winston’ a great book. I mean, seriously?!

Posted by: KS, Oct 28, 2008 01:20:26 PM

"I dislike people who are overbearing or snobbish or have an overly optimistic sense of their self-worth. Unless you’re on the cover of the New York Times or Time magazine, we’re all pretty much the same. I don’t like people who have a heightened sense of self. I certainly don’t. I’m not one of those people trying to impress you with everything I say. I find those things a turnoff."

Um...really Mr. "I was always very smart" and "I was popular in every circle but didn’t really belong because I’m too eclectic."?!?

Posted by: totally turned off, Oct 28, 2008 12:14:15 PM

Dating Diaries: Mark Drapeau

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