Happy Festivus, Rand Paul!

Seinfeld superfan. Photograph courtesy Office of Senator Rand Paul.

Members of Congress are home to pander for the holidays, but at least one of them is remembering to include the occasion for the rest of us. Senator Rand Paul, Republican of Kentucky, celebrated Festivus—the fictional holiday from Seinfeld—by airing his grievances on Twitter.

Many of Paul’s grievances focused on the Federal Reserve, which, incidentally, is marking its 100th anniversary today.

Over 300 House members helped pass Audit the Fed with real bipartisanship. Still no vote in the Senate.

— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2013

Fed policies make you poorer, and hurt the poor and middle class the most. Ridiculous monetary policies increase the costs of goods.

— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2013

So you can thank the Fed for your grocery and gas bills getting out or control.

— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2013

Paul also has some fashion gripes.

Grievance with my otherwise wonderful staff: leave the turtleneck alone. I like it and so do viewers.

— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2013

Too many people wearing ties on TV as it is

— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2013

And, like a true out-of-towner, Paul even has a grievance with one of DC’s municipal regulations.

Minor grievance: I can never remember when to move my car for DC street cleaning.

— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2013

In fact, Paul, or any other person who parks their car on the street, does not have to worry about street cleaning for a few more months. The Department of Public Works does not resume residential street sweeping until March 3, 2014. It’s another Festivus miracle, Senator Paul.

Sadly, though, it appears that Paul is not willing to make today a true celebration of Festivus. While he appears to have a Frank Costanza-like well of grievances, Paul says he will not partake in the other time-honored Festivus tradition—the Feats of Strength.

In response to some of your tweets, there will be no feats of strength, and I have no plans to end Festivus by wrestling with Senator Reid.

— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) December 23, 2013

Benjamin Freed

Staff Writer

Benjamin Freed joined Washingtonian in August 2013 and covers politics, business, and media. He was previously the editor of DCist and has also written for Washington City Paper, the New York Times, the New Republic, Slate, and BuzzFeed. He lives in Adams Morgan.