Skittle Sausage, the Truth About Protein Bars, and Peanut-Butter-and-Jellyfish: Eating & Reading

A tasty roundup of some of the best stuff we’re reading this week.

Is that bar packed with protein, or just a ton of sugar and carbs? The truth will come out! Image via Shutterstock.

Not-So-Super Bowl

Don’t cheer against the Seattle Seahawks in the Super Bowl because of Richard Sherman. Cheer against the Seahawks because of “Skittle sausage.” [Deadspin] —Benjamin Freed

A bunch of the Denver Broncos went to dinner in a Manhattan sushi restaurant. And because the raw fish wasn’t manly enough they ordered steaks off-menu, so the chef had to send someone out for 25 pounds of meat. [New York Post] —Sophie Gilbert

Portlandia season four is on the horizon, and previews are out. Check out an NPR tailgate, just in time for the Super Bowl. [Eater National] —Anna Spiegel

The Unwanted 

A look inside protein bars. Warning: You may just be eating a stick of unhealthy ingredients. [New York Times] —AS

The NYT follows up on its story of a McDonald’s plagued by elderly Korean customers who stayed there all day by looking at the phenomenon of groups of people who linger in fast food restaurants without spending any money. As with everything else, you can blame Starbucks. [New York Times] —SG 

Week in Millenials 

This week in millennial food trends: The Washington Post’s ever-intrepid millennials desk takes a deep dive into a competition in which “the world’s future elite” compete to determine who has the best nose for Bordeaux wines. Pass the Cold Duck, please. [Post] —BF

Mon dieu! It was a two-parter! [Post] —BF 

Random Rankings

For all those who’ve ever rued the day “seafood sausage” became a thing: the ten worst food substitutions. [Huffington Post] —AS

The most influential burger of all time is . . . the White Castle slider, says a Time reporter who’s apparently been smoking something. [Time] —SG

Did You Know . . . 

Pete Seeger wrote the introduction to a 1972 cookbook filled with pumpkin-based recipes. [Grub Street] —BF

Recipe: Combine three tablespoons of peanut butter and ten ounces of sea water. Feed to 250 baby jellyfish twice a day for five weeks. Behold: peanut-butter-and-jellyfish! [Grist] —BF