Thursday, July 10
FASHION: The W Hotel is hosting its Summer Glamfest, featuring jewelry from local outfit Queen Bee Designs and pieces from New York City’s Stella & Dot. Proceeds benefit the nonprofit Girls Health Ed. Your ticket will include a free drink and entry into a raffle to win free jewelry. Tickets ($15) are available online. 6:30 PM.
STORYTELLING: SpeakeasyDC and the Washington Improv Theatre present Unraveled, a hybrid storytelling/improv comedy night. A SpeakeasyDC storyteller will tell you a true tale, then Washington Improv will reimagine and expand on the facts in wacky, hilarious ways. Tickets ($15) are available online. 8 PM.
Friday, July 11
SEX: Twanna Hines, a popular sex columnist who goes by the name Funky Brown Chick, is doing a run of shows at the Goethe-Institut as part of the Fringe Festival. Her show, which has a name we can’t print here, is part adult sex ed, part trivia, part storytelling, and part comedy. Tickets ($17) are available online. 10:30 PM.
FRANCE: The French Embassy is hosting its annual Bastille Day party, which is one of the city’s best of the year. French restaurants and bars from around town will offer food, drinks, and pastries, and there’ll be French music and dancing as well as live jazz and swing music. It’s not cheap, but it’s reliably a good time. Dress fancy—it’s how the French would want you to do it. Tickets ($110) are available online. 7:30 PM.
HAPPY HOUR: It’s a good night to be at Black Cat: Right after work, you’ve got the Ten Forward Happy Hour, in which you’ll get to watch an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation with your fellow Trekkies. After that, you can either do Punk Rock Karaoke in the back room or head upstairs to catch Matt Koff, a Daily Show writer who has toured with John Oliver and is about to show up on Comedy Central. He’s also written for the Onion News Network. What I’m saying is, it’ll be funny.
Happy hour: Free, 7 PM
Karaoke: $8, 9:30 PM
Comedy: $12, 9 PM
Saturday, July 12
BEER: To help guide you through the wild world of Belgian beer, Joe and Tim Webb have written the aptly titled The Good Beer Guide to Belgium. They’ll be at ChurchKey with copies of the book, which has not yet been released stateside. Most important, 35 of the best Belgian beers from the book will be available on draft. Free. 2 PM.
ART: “DC Conspiracy” is a new exhibit at Capitol Hill Arts Workshop that’s actually not about 9/11 trutherism—it’s about comics, short-story authors, and that sort of thing. At the opening reception, there’ll be a chalkboard mural you can create you own interactive comic on, original art and prints, and some of the best works from DC Conspiracy, which has been around since 2005. Free. 5 PM.
COMEDY: Improv comedy with people is cool, but don’t you get sick of looking at humans sometimes? The DC Arts Center hosts The Fuzz Ups, which is exactly like the improv you know and love, except the cast is a bunch of puppets. That change offers quite a bit of flexibility, as you’d imagine. Tickets ($7) are available online. 10 PM.
PUB CRAWL: Port City is hosting a pub crawl all over Old Town Alexandria, which will hit Pizzeria Paradiso, Virtue Feed & Grain, the Fish Market, the Waterfront Market, and Union Street Public House. Hit them all, and you’ll get a free pint glass from Port City. The brewery’s beers will cost between $3 and $4 all day, and Union Street is going to have a 20 percent discount on all food. Free. 2 to 5:30 PM.
Sunday, July 13
FRANCE: Art Soiree celebrates Bastille Day in the Ritz-Carlton’s garden with a cake served by Marie Antoinette*, Champagne tastings, music, dancing, and all sorts of various French delights. Tickets ($20) are available online. 7 PM.
SOCCER: It’s been a crazy, high-scoring World Cup—and there’s one game left. Argentina takes on Germany in what lots of (silly) people are calling the battle of the old pope vs the new one. If you want to watch the game somewhere kinda fancy, the Ritz-Carlton is serving $5 beers, $8 cocktails, and $5 appetizers during and after the game. Free. 3 PM. Find more options for watch parties in our guide.
BIKE: Generally we wouldn’t advise riding a bike in your Sunday best, but hey, if everyone else is doing it, why not. BicycleSpace is hosting A Day at the Races Social Ride, which ’round these parts is known as a seersucker ride. The ride goes along the Anacostia Riverwalk, where you’ll participate in games, obstacle courses, and lots of other fun stuff. Box lunches are available if you reserve one. Free. 10:30 AM.
Know of something cool going on around town? E-mail Jason Koebler at firstname.lastname@example.org, or find him on Twitter.
*Not actually Marie Antoinette.