We haven’t had a new episode of Scandal since before Thanksgiving, but with all the family time over the holidays perhaps your break was plenty dramatic regardless (mine certainly was). Season four comes roaring back this Thursday at 9, so to save you the emotional highs and lows of rewatching the first nine episodes—and give you more time to stock up on wine and popcorn—here’s a quick refresher on what happened last.
Liv has the face that (maybe) launched a thousand tanks
Olivia has been kidnapped by Andrew the Evil Vice President—who, by the way, is in bed (literally and figuratively) with Lizzie the ultra-Republican—and is being used to “motivate” Fitz to declare war on West Angola. Why? We don’t know yet (though it probably has to do with money), but given that El Prez is willing to sacrifice a heck of a lot for Liv, for the sake of our fictionalized Armed Forces, let’s hope somebody’s able to find her soon.
The truth shall set you free—but it probably won’t fix you
Thanks to Charlie, Huck’s wife got a hand-delivered box of B613 files that proves exactly how not-crazy Huck’s stories have been. Unfortunately there’s still that whole thing where he’s addicted to murdering people, has a super-weird oral fixation, and accidentally let his son witness him kill a guy by slicing his jugular. Plus I bet he’d let Javi stay up way too late and eat Cinnamon Toast Crunch for dinner.
Love is free, but sex has a cost
Everyone who sleeps with someone on this show (which is pretty much every character) ends up paying for it. Olivia gets ransomed for political gain, Mellie ends up two-timed, Quinn and Charlie have the most dysfunctional relationship of all time, Cyrus is about to marry a prostitute, and let’s not even get into Karen Grant’s “trip to Paris.” Conversely, Papa Pope manages to keep it in his pants and thus has the bandwidth to constantly stay six steps ahead of everyone else. Methinks there’s a lesson in here somewhere.
B613 has B’n 86’d
Rowan spent the time before the break trying to clean house on his shadow government, dispatching an endless army of snipers to try to take down the remaining agents—including Quinn, Charlie, and Jake. Last spring, Joe Morton was cast on a TNT pilot, so it’s unclear what Rowan’s role will be in the back half of Scandal’s current season, but I’m guessing Shonda still has some Papa Pope surprises up her sleeve.
Nice guys still finish last
Life kinda sucks for everyone in the Scandalverse, but perhaps most of all for long-suffering attorney general David Rosen, whose main hobbies seem to be getting held by the throat, pining after Abby, who’s happily moved on with Leo, and not being able to do anything because Olivia and her cohorts keep getting in his way. Will 2015 be the Year of David? I’m looking forward to finding out.