News & Politics

Angry Reviews of DC Landmarks: The Supreme Court

"Nothing supreme about it."

Photograph via iStock.

An occasional series of unfortunate experiences at well-known sites around DC.

It may be the highest court in the land, but the Supreme Court’s online customer reviews tell a different story. Yelp, TripAdvisor, Facebook, and Google Reviews are filled with the vitriol of hundreds of visitors who take issue with the court’s tours, food, and general existence. Some are nonsense, but others are weirdly valid. Here’s why the Supreme Court sucks, according to the internet’s perpetually unsatisfied grumblers:

1. It’s a place where democracy happens occasionally.


2. It doesn’t even go here.

How did we miss that? Oh wait: U.S. Constitution, Article III, Section 1.

3. It’s ignoring the pressing issue of our time: kids’ handwriting.

4. It didn’t march its marble-pillared butt over to Stanford last month:

5. It has police officers who “flex their skinny selves.”

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6. James Madison picked the wrong adjective.

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7. Not everyone’s #LoveWins at the Court.

But RBG would totally listen to Focus while writing her opinions.

8. It’s full of slime! Yuck!

9. It’s just not very down to earth.

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10. It’s not trying hard enough to be America’s highest food court.

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But for all it gets wrong, the Court gets one thing right:

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