News & Politics

Angry Reviews of DC Landmarks: Smithsonian’s National Zoo

"If I could have given it no stars, I would have."

Shame. Shame. Shame. Photograph by Flickr user Bex Walton.

An occasional series of unfortunate experiences at well-known sites around DC.

There’s a lot to hate about zoos.  Sometimes it’s their fault, like when they build habitats that resemble gulags, build enclosures that cause animals to escape and kill people, and even put humans on display next to the animals. Other times, zoos just can’t help the things we hate about them, like the hordes of tourists and the animals’ smelly bodily functions. Either way, here’s why the National Zoo stinks, according to the internet’s biggest grouches:

1. Pandas doing it, pandas sleeping, pandas basically not caring that humans came here to see them.
Read Yujin L.‘s review of Smithsonian National Zoological Park on Yelp

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2. Urgent giraffe shortage.

Read jack c.‘s review of Smithsonian National Zoological Park on Yelp

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3. “Pooooop everywhere.”

Read Josmary K.‘s review of Smithsonian National Zoological Park on Yelp

Read Saejin L.‘s review of Smithsonian National Zoological Park on Yelp

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4. That damn lady near the Asia walk.

Read Brianna M.‘s review of Smithsonian National Zoological Park on Yelp

5. Unclear difference between zoo attractions and zoo customers.

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6. Carousel workers being appropriately awful.

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7. Police brutality.

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8. Public Employee brutality.

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9. Questionable animal bites.

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10. Zoo-keeping liberals.

Read Lucky C.‘s review of Smithsonian National Zoological Park on Yelp

11. Everything about this review.

Read Nadine F.‘s review of Smithsonian National Zoological Park on Yelp