These Beer Runs Are the Most Washington Thing Ever

Because where else can you booze in the name of fitness?
These Beer Runs Are the Most Washington Thing Ever

Options for multitasking in a town of fitness freaks.

Great North American Naughtical Beer Mile

What it is: Slug a beer after every quarter mile in this race till you stumble across the finish line and receive your medal outfitted with a bottle opener.
Distance: Like the name says.
Where and when: The Yards in August.
Tippler type: Bros.
The beer: Budweiser.
Random rule: If you throw up, you have to complete a penalty lap.
Degree of difficulty:

H Street Runners

What it is: A group that meets for monthly happy-hour runs.
Distance: About three miles.
Where and when: Tuesday or Thursday at 6 PM on the sidewalks of Northeast DC.
Tippler type: Networkers.
The beer: Extended happy-hour buck­et specials just for the runners.
Random rule: Joining from, say, Shaw? Plan on some friendly heckling.
Degree of difficulty: ★★

The Hangover Hash House Harriers

What it is: The local chapter of a global beer-and-running club, who lace up to beat the weekend hangover.
Distance: Three to seven miles.
Where and when: DC, Maryland, and Virginia, one Sunday a month.
Tippler type: Hair-of-the-dog crowd.
The beer: Whatever’s on tap at brunch.
Random rule: Brush up on “The Half-Mind Hymnal,” a songbook of offensive ballads belted out while running.
Degree of difficulty: ★★★

Brewery Runs

What it is: Evening jogs organized by local breweries.
Distance: One to five miles.
Where and when: Port City Brewing Company (Monday), Caboose Brewing Company (Monday), Denizens Brewing Co. (Wednesday).
Tippler type: Dads in minivans.
The beer: Craft.
Random rule: Leave the baby jogger at home.
Degree of difficulty: ★★★

This article appeared in the June 2018 issue of Washingtonian.

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Kim Olsen
Associate Editor

Kim Olsen joined Washingtonian in 2016 after moving to DC from Pittsburgh, where she earned an MFA in nonfiction writing at the University of Pittsburgh. She lives in Alexandria.