These Beer Runs Are the Most Washington Thing Ever

Because where else can you booze in the name of fitness?

Options for multitasking in a town of fitness freaks.

Great North American Naughtical Beer Mile

What it is: Slug a beer after every quarter mile in this race till you stumble across the finish line and receive your medal outfitted with a bottle opener.
Distance: Like the name says.
Where and when: The Yards in August.
Tippler type: Bros.
The beer: Budweiser.
Random rule: If you throw up, you have to complete a penalty lap.
Degree of difficulty:

H Street Runners

What it is: A group that meets for monthly happy-hour runs.
Distance: About three miles.
Where and when: Tuesday or Thursday at 6 PM on the sidewalks of Northeast DC.
Tippler type: Networkers.
The beer: Extended happy-hour buck­et specials just for the runners.
Random rule: Joining from, say, Shaw? Plan on some friendly heckling.
Degree of difficulty: ★★

The Hangover Hash House Harriers

What it is: The local chapter of a global beer-and-running club, who lace up to beat the weekend hangover.
Distance: Three to seven miles.
Where and when: DC, Maryland, and Virginia, one Sunday a month.
Tippler type: Hair-of-the-dog crowd.
The beer: Whatever’s on tap at brunch.
Random rule: Brush up on “The Half-Mind Hymnal,” a songbook of offensive ballads belted out while running.
Degree of difficulty: ★★★

Brewery Runs

What it is: Evening jogs organized by local breweries.
Distance: One to five miles.
Where and when: Port City Brewing Company (Monday), Caboose Brewing Company (Monday), Denizens Brewing Co. (Wednesday).
Tippler type: Dads in minivans.
The beer: Craft.
Random rule: Leave the baby jogger at home.
Degree of difficulty: ★★★

This article appeared in the June 2018 issue of Washingtonian.

Kim Olsen

Kim Olsen ([email protected]) is a freelance writer in Alexandria.