News & Politics

What Should We Call HQ2 If It’s Split Between Different Cities?

Good news! Amazon’s HQ2 is reportedly coming to Crystal City! Also, it’s reportedly coming to Long Island City, New York, and maybe even coming to Denver, Miami, and Nashville as well. If HQ2 does end up landing in pieces instead of one large chunk, is that name still accurate? We came up with a few alternate ways to refer to a diminished, but still sought-after Amazon office in the Washington area:

1. Amazon BS (Branch Staff)

2. Amazon WTF (Washington Trade Facility)

3. Amazon SMH (Office of Seeking Municipal Handouts)

4. Amazon GOTCHA (General Operations, Transaction Coding, and Hiring Arm)

5. Amazon SUCKAS (Special Undertakings, Commercial Kinetics & Analytics Services)



Michael Schaffer has been editor of Washingtonian since 2014. A former editor of Washington City Paper and editorial director of The New Republic, Michael is also the author of One Nation Under Dog, a 2009 book about America’s obsession with pets. A DC native, he currently lives in Chevy Chase DC with his wife and their two daughters.