Using three scenarios, we asked bartenders to make the perfect comfort drink.
“I Just Got Dumped”
The spot: Old Ebbitt Grill
Bartender response: “We’re going to make it all good. I don’t know that it will be all good, but it will be better.”
What we got: Blood Orange Refresher with Absolut Citron vodka, blood-orange liqueur, Chambord, orange juice, and Sprite, $0 (but we left a hefty tip).
How it tasted: Like spring break in Cancún . . . the perfect place to get over a broken heart?
“My Dog Died”
Bartender response: He asked what kind of dog we had and told us he had a four-year-old Chihuahua mix named Puppy.
What we got: Kahlúa martini, $15.
How it tasted: Sweet and brown—like our very good fake pup.
“I Got Fired Today”
Bartender response: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. . . . It’s always better tomorrow.”
What we got: Lemon Drop in a sugar-rimmed martini glass, $19.
How it tasted: Sour but not too sweet, with a strong hint of gender stereotyping.
This article appears in the November 2018 issue of Washingtonian.