Clinical psychologist and divorce coach who has been working with lots of unhappy people and couples since the pandemic
Are there ways you’ve personally found gratitude during this time that you’ve tried to impart to your clients?
I had never planted a garden before, and then I did and I was grateful for the tomatoes. I don’t necessarily say to my clients, “You should garden.” I just say, “What will bring you a little bit of joy this week?” I think people are just encouraged by the idea—it’s a cliché by now—of taking it step by step.
There was a New York Times column recently by a woman who races sled dogs. Basically, what she said is sometimes you don’t know how long you’re going to have to ask these dogs to run, and the way you help them run a thousand miles is you take care of them in advance. I thought that was incredibly helpful. I’ve talked to some clients about that. We all need to take care of ourselves proactively. Before you feel burned out, take a rest. Before you feel lonely, reach out. I’m very grateful to [the author]. It’s an extremely helpful concept.