We’ve been perched on the edge of our seats waiting to see what expelled congressman George Santos will do for his next act after a forced exit from the House of Representatives. Would he follow in the footsteps of other ousted or controversial Republicans and grace our screens for prestige shows such as Dancing with the Stars, the Masked Singer, or Big Brother?
Just three days later, we have our answer: In the spirit of minor reality stars, Twitch streamers, and one imprisoned former governor, Santos has started a Cameo account, recording custom videos. For $75—wait, he raised the price to $150…no, actually now $200—you can receive a video from the self-proclaimed “Former congressional ‘Icon’!💅🏼.”
Despite only launching his account this morning, there are already several Santos Cameos floating around for the masses to enjoy. (Fast turnaround on Cameo, volleyball stardom, and a role on Hannah Montana—does this man ever rest?!) Video categories include “gossip” and “pep talk,” but my own existence is enough of a mess that I’m most intrigued by the “advice” label. After all, Santos has lived a lot of life, as evidenced by that one time he said “Sue me for having a life.”
Watching a few of the videos, it is clear Santos has a go-to mantra when the going gets tough: Haters are going to hate. In fact, the phrase appears to be a cornerstone of his videos, the first law of Santos’s 10 commandments.
“Don’t let the haters get to you. Haters are going to hate,” he says in one video. “And if you have haters, it means you’re doing something right, girl.” The words are echoed in another Cameo: “Let the haters hate because they’re always going to hate.”
Sometimes, Santos gets creative with the delivery. “Live life, laugh, and let the haters hate because they’re always gonna hate,” he says in one clip, a quote that will surely make its way onto needlepoint pillows across America. The former congressman even finds a way to combine anti-hater sentiments with some powerful self-love in a video gifted to Nebraska State Senator Megan Hunt. “Screw the haters. The haters are going to hate,” he says. “They can boot me out of Congress, but they can’t take away my good humor or my larger-than-life personality.”
Of course, Santos’s advice doesn’t stop at lines ripped from a Taylor Swift song. In one Cameo, he greets the camera with words of wisdom that should be carved onto the Rosetta Stone: “Botox keeps you young, fillers keep you plump, mwah!” Seriously, if we’re trying to make contact with alien life on other planets, please tell NASA to start with that phrase. Another video subtly acknowledges the situation that led him down this dark path of Cameo celebrity: “It doesn’t matter if you get fired from a job or if you find a new job. What matters is what you make of it.” In this case, Santos is actually showing us his advice, by, you know, going from the nation’s highest legislative body to recording videos on an app for $200 a pop.
In summary, the haters are going to hate, and Santos wants to make sure—really sure—that you know that. If this was a Santos Cameo, the article would end with the Cameo star’s new signature goodbye: blowing a kiss to the camera. Mwah!
Daniella Byck joined Washingtonian in 2022. She was previously with Outside Magazine and lives in Northeast DC.
