Sometimes all it takes is a little intoxication to gain a little clarity. For Don
Draper, it’s a cocktail of amphetamines and bourbon. For Selina Meyer, it’s a strange
mixture of St John’s wort and Prozac (you’d think Gary would know by now which homeopathic
remedies might react with the Veep’s prescription pills, but never mind) that leads
her to decide enough is enough. That, and walking through a plate-glass door right
before she’s supposed to be schmoozing billionaires for her possible presidential
run six years from now.
Selina’s suffered a lot of indignity over the course of two seasons of
Veep, so the question was always whether her ambition or her self-esteem would emerge
victorious in her quest to reign over the Oval Office. Now we know—not even living
in the Naval Observatory and flying in Air Force Two can make up for being a presidential
chew toy. Maybe it was the glass ceiling, sorry, door, that she shattered, or maybe
it was the herbal pain relievers talking, but it was a curiously sobering and thoughtful
end to an otherwise incredibly funny episode. The sight of Amy and Dan riding in a
golf cart while Gary, Mike, and Jonah all huff and puff their way through a 10K to
try to get Selina’s attention, followed by the Veep talking about healthy living with
blood pouring out of her nose deserves its own spot in the annals of TV history. (I’d
give extra props to the writing team for including a very prescient whistleblower,
but that information seemed to be dropped mostly so it could be fleshed out next week.)
Winners
Danny Chung: Chung is basically
Marco Rubio, what with the youth, the
earnestness, and the Spotify playlist full of young, hip
music that he in no way listens to. To be fair, only Rubio can
really tell us if he
actually is as passionate about
Pitbull
as he says he is, but Chung’s playlist was devised entirely
like Dan, who’s angling
for a spot on the governor’s team. As is Amy, it turns out, but
she doesn’t think
in hashtags like Dan does (“young Chungers”).
Selina: I’m grasping at straws here, because walking into a plate glass door, getting
high off her ass, and offering to buy Mike’s boat doesn’t exactly sound like a typical
winner, but her determination to no longer be POTUS’s scapegoat was the most serene
and confident we’ve ever seen Selina Meyer, even if it was being said while Gary and
Mike were retching outside the limo. “You can see what’s coming, Amy,” she says. “He’s
going to implicate me in all of it, and then it’s going to be two years of standing
next to a man that I loathe . . . I’m done.” Brava.
Russell Crowe. He’s already in the presidential suite of the hotel Selina gets stuck in, meaning
she’s left with a considerably smaller one. Presumably playing Jor-El gets you mad
upgrade status.
Taiwanese video reenactments of horrible vice presidential injuries: Stand down, Psy.
There’s a new viral strain in town.
Losers
POTUS: Even Gaddafi’s sons are polling better, and all of Washington’s abuzz about
a whistleblower threatening to reveal the truth about the hostage crisis. Also, someone
in his own party is threatening to run as a challenger. If ever there were a time
to bypass Jonah and call Sue directly, this might be it.
Jimmy Cliff/Katy Perry/Anyone Mike or Gary listen to on their iPods.
Gingerbread: It gets a bad enough rap already without being the baked good an intoxicated
person immediately associates with useless Mike.
Anyone at an orgy with Amy’s sister: There you go, trying to have carefree, casual
sex, and she’s asking for health records and killing all the momentum.
Leonard Cohen. You go and write a genius song and then Ben sings it at karaoke in a Mexican restaurant
and changes the word “Hallelujah” to “jalapeño.”
Best lines
“I’ll go kiss some hateful billionaire ass by myself, give them all donor boners.”
(Selina)
“Young Chungers! It’s like you think in hashtags.” (Chung)
“Ma’am, look at you. You’re wearing a robe. Unless you want to go and sing a chorus
of ‘Look at Me, I’m Sandra Dee’ you can’t go downstairs.” (Mike)
“Gary gave her something that’s reacting with her antidepressants, and it’s turning
her into Julie Andrews.” (Amy)
“Burn everything incriminating, including this building. Burn all the White House
pets and then burn yourself.” (Ben)
“Which one of us do you think Andre the Giant jagoff is going to obey?” (Ben)
