Thursday, April 25
COMEDY: Sarah Silverman brings her often edgy standup to the Warner Theatre tonight. She’s recently shown off her acting chops with a dramatic turn in Take This Waltz—and a decidedly less dramatic turn voicing Vanellope von Schweetz in Wreck-It Ralph. Tickets ($39.50 to $59.50) are available online. 8 PM.
BURLESQUE: I’d argue that the people involved in this new wave of burlesque in DC are already pretty nerdy, but the Evil League of Ecdysiasts Burlesque goes a step further with the Nerds Gone Wild night at Bier Baron. As they put it, they “do the weird stuff—and you can watch.” Tickets ($10) are available online. 7:30 PM.
TV: Vice has a new HBO show, and the Newseum hosts an exclusive screening of two episodes before they air. I highly doubt you’ll get to see Dennis Rodman hamming it up with Kim Jong Un in North Korea, but you never know. Afterward, there’ll be a Q&A with Eddy Moretti and Jason Mojica, producers of the show. Free. 7:30 PM.
BEER: Donate $15 to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society at the Bullpen outside Nats Park and drink $1 beers until 9 PM. You can still make it in to watch the game by, say, the sixth inning. 4:30 PM.
Friday, April 26
COMEDY: It’s time for Wonderland Ballroom’s Don’t Block the Box comedy night again—this time Tim Miller, who has regularly performed at the Improv and the Arlington Cinema & Drafthouse, headlines; Elahe Izadi, Jamel Johnson, and Sean Joyce open. Afterward, things get sloppy on the dance floor. $3. 7:30 PM.
DANCE: The Knocks pretend like they’re from New York City, but they play DC so often you barely notice. The “Dancin’ With the DJ” deejays will be at Georgetown’s brand new Malmaison right under the bridge on K Street (it’s opening night—let us know how the venue is). $10; RSVP online. 10 PM.
STORYTELLING: On Reddit, the Confession Bear meme is all the rage, with some guy maybe or maybe not confessing to murder a couple weeks ago. Hopefully you won’t hear anything that dark at Story League All-Stars at Black Cat. But the theme of the night is “shocking confessions,” and these comedians and storytellers always want to one-up each other, so expect things to get weird. $15. 9 PM.
Saturday, April 27
BLUEGRASS: Head to Kingman Island on the Anacostia River for the fourth annual Kingman Island Bluegrass Festival, featuring dozens of food trucks, beer from breweries such as Sierra Nevada, and seven hours of bluegrass music, featuring the Hackensaw Boys, Dead Men’s Hollow, and more. Tickets ($10) are available online. 1 to 8 PM.
BOOZE: If you manage to survive the Margarita March, please go home and drink at least five glasses of water and pop an Advil or two, or your Sunday will not be the best. But the bar crawl itself sounds like a blast—eight U Street bars try to one-up one another with the best 12-ounce margarita they can mix up. Things get started at Alero and end up at Stoney’s. If you need to take a break from the margs, there will be specials on Mexican beers and food pairings at each venue. Tickets ($50 with margaritas, $20 without) are available online. Noon.
MIKE TYSON: Public service announcement: Any time Mike Tyson is in DC doing a show called Undisputed Truth, I’m going to include it here. You should probably spring for the $300 front-row seats at Warner Theatre—just watch your ears. Tickets ($35 to $300) are available online. 8 PM.
COMEDY: Three comedy duos—Jive Turkey, Topher & Joe, and Shawn Mikael(s)—perform at the DC Arts Center’s 2x2x2 (I did the math for you—it’s eight). It’s a mix of improv, standup, and variety. Check it out. Tickets ($10) are available online. 7:30 and 10 PM.
FARMERS MARKET: The Dupont Marketplace farmers market and craft fair opens for the spring this weekend at 14th and P streets, near the Whole Foods, with more than 80 vendors. For more farmers market goodness, check out the guide in the May issue. 10 AM to 4 PM.
Sunday, April 28
LORD OF THE RINGS: Dress up as your favorite Lord of the Rings character and strap in for a marathon of the trilogy at Arlington Cinema & Drafthouse starting at noon, with some short breaks for trivia, a Gollum impersonation contest (film for blackmail purposes), and best costume awards. The Hobbit not included—probably a good call for now. Tickets ($10) are available online. Doors open at 11:30.
ART: Penn Social hosts Marvel, a night showcasing some of the best new performing art, paintings, music, photography, film, and fashion DC has to offer. Tickets are $15 in advance or $20 at the door. 6:30 PM.
FOOD: The Birchmere hosts its annual Carpenter’s Cook Off, featuring 30 chefs trying to wow you with their concoctions. Fifty bucks gets you three hours of food and drink tastings. Tickets are available online. Noon.
Know of something cool going on around town? E-mail Jason Koebler at email@example.com, or find him on Twitter.