Dear Mr. or Ms. Reader:
WELCOME! to my book review of From Bush to Bush! Come Aboard!
For your convenience and enjoyment, I have written a review 100% IN THE STYLE of Don Novello, plagiarizing (big time) so YOU!, reader, can know whether you will buy the book or you will say, “Thanks but no thanks, Don, better luck next year.”
NO, READER, DON’T SAY THAT!!!
I read very slow and I only know a few jokes (AND! one of them isn’t even really very funny, call me, I’ll tell you it). BUT this book is hilarious! with three capital H’s.
Procedure: Lazlo Toth (a.k.a. NOVELLO) writes a million letters to presidents and congressmen and CEOs and dignitaries and popes. He NOMINATES himself for government positions (poet laureate), ASKS important questions (“is it safe to eat Goats, or other animals, that were killed in air strikes?”), DONATES one-dollar bills to political campaigns etc., etc., etc.
To then president-elect BUSH: “Gore’s ‘IT’S TIME FOR ME TO GO’ swan song speech was MOVING. By that I mean that it was one of the few times we got to see both sides of his face MOVING together at the same time, usually they take turns. To say that he is WOODEN, is an affront to lumber.”
To Pope JOHN PAUL II: “I want to say Happy New Year 1999, or, in Latin, Felix Annus Novum—MCMXCIX. It’s hard to believe that the GRANDUS MILLINIMUS ARRIVUM SO SOONUM.”
To DICK CHENEY: “Let’s get together for dinner when I’m in town, I’d like to do that.”
Results and Conclusions: I LOVE LAZLO! And READER, there’s more. Novello—who frankly I consider practically my cousin after I read EVERY SINGLE LETTER in his book, even the long ones and the ones really near the back—has also included the responses he got, and many of those are hilarious, too, this time with ALL CAPS and even more H’s. He even gets some personalized letters from dummies who obviously wouldn’t know COMEDY if it was sitting in their mailbox. Stand Up, Don!
BOTTOM LINE: BUY THIS BOOK! now, now, now. Do it for Cousin Lazlo, he’s got holiday shopping to do. TOGETHER! we can make this happen.
Simon & Schuster
Simon & Schuster