Thursday, November 7
BUSINESS: If you’ve got a Twitter account, you’ve got a brand. Learn how to do more with that brand at the Huxley with Harvard Business School professor Anita Elberse, author of Blockbusters, a book that studies the success of LeBron James, Jay-Z, the NFL, Warner Bros., and other instantly recognizable names and companies. There’ll be an open bar and small bites beforehand. Tickets ($55) are available online. 6:30 PM.
STORYTELLING: The Patagonia store in Georgetown is kind of a weird place to have a storytelling event, but not when you consider the theme: swimming upstream. It’s a fancy way of saying “going against the grain,” but a whole host of local DC comedians and storytellers will talk about one time they stuck out their necks—and how it turned out. Afterward, maybe you can buy a coat or something . . . it’s getting kinda cold out. Tickets ($15) are available online. 8 PM.
KARAOKE: The best part about performing rap songs at karaoke is that it’s probably the most realistic performance you’re going to get: At real rap concerts, there are rarely any guitars or instruments to get in the way, just an emcee and a mike. Hop on stage at Liv Nightclub’s occasional hip-hop karaoke night and get your rhyme on. Free until 10:30 PM, $5 after. 9 PM.
COMEDY: Twitter celebrities have been a thing for a long time now, but stage shows with them are a different story. Mike Burns, the man behind the ultra popular @dadboner account, will be at the Black Cat reading from his new book, telling standup, and bringing out a few of his comedian friends. Luckily, Burns is a semi-established standup comedian (and hilarious on Twitter), so he—and his character, Karl Welzein—should have a good stage presence. Tickets ($15) are available online. 8 PM.
Friday, November 8
CARTOONS: You know John DiMaggio not as a weird ripoff of one of the best baseball players of all time but as Bender from Futurama, and as the evil Dr. Drakken in Kim Possible (holla to all my KP fans in the building). He’ll be at the National Press Club screening I Know That Voice, a new documentary about voice acting. Afterward, he’ll discuss the art of being a voice actor and maybe even get into character for you. Tickets ($10) are available online. 6 PM.
MUSIC: The best concert of this weekend isn’t at a nightclub, it’s at American University. Lucky for you, it’s open to the public. Grouplove—you know them as that “Tongue Tied” band—headline; dance duo the Knocks will help get you warmed up. Tickets ($25) are available online. 7 PM.
ART: It’s time for another Super Art Fight, which is about as violent as the act of painting can get. Artists will go head to head at Black Cat as the audience (that’s you) call out improv-style suggestions and the “Wheel of Death” screws everything up. You’ll also get pro-wrestling-style commentary in case two artists laying the proverbial smackdown on their canvases isn’t enough. Tickets ($15) are available online. 9:30 PM.
Saturday, November 9
GAMBLING: If you want to gamble, you’ve got to cross into Maryland. But you can still play your favorite casino games at Buffalo Billiards’ Casino Night, hosted by Team DC, sponsors of many of DC’s LGBT sports teams. There’ll be poker, blackjack, and craps. Redeem your chips for various prizes, which is kinda sorta like actually gambling. Free (must purchase chips). 8 PM.
BURLESQUE: Long before the burlesque thing took off in DC, Pittsburgh-based Kat De Lac was touring the US. Join her, musicians Sparklefight, and the Olde City Sideshow for a night of music, burlesque, and all out weirdness at Bier Baron. Tickets ($10) are available online. 8:30 PM.
IMPROV: Like Shakespeare, but getting a bit sick of the words he wrote? Try out the Improvised Shakespeare Company, a troupe that keeps to the Bard’s general themes and iambic pentameter (sometimes) but ignores the whole “script” thing. They’ll be performing this weekend at Artisphere. Tickets ($25) are available online. 7:30 and 9:30 PM.
CHRISTMAS: It’s Christmas season? It’s Christmas season. The Czech Christmas Market officially opens this weekend at the embassy. Stop by for Czech and Slovak Christmas carols, traditional music, and lots of food, drinks, ornaments, and gifts to buy. There’s also going to be someone there teaching the audience “how to use their bodies as musical instruments,” which I’d imagine works better if you have the build of jolly ol’ St. Nick. Free. 1 to 6 PM.
BEER: How do you feel about “epic beer adventures?” Pretty positive? Thought so. Check out the DC Beerathon, a collaboration between 26 bars and restaurants in Northwest. Your ticket gets you a (classy, craft-brewed) beer at each bar. Please do not drink all 26. Tickets ($65) are available online. Noon to 2 AM.
Sunday, November 10
THEATER: Woolly Mammoth’s new show, Appropriate, just opened and runs through the end of the month. In the one-man show, Brooklyn-based actor Branden Jacobs-Jenkins talks about his family’s quibbles over their late father’s estate. When they discover something unexpected, things turn dark, but remain pretty funny. Tickets ($45 to $57) are available online. 2 and 7 PM.
MUSIC: Remember ’90s music? Not, like, TLC, Coolio, and Nirvana, but the rougher stuff like Jawbreaker and early emo? The guys behind Bad Scene, Everyone’s Fault do. They’ll be spinning some classics and some more obscure stuff at Black Cat all night. Free. 8 PM.
Know of something cool going on around town? E-mail Jason Koebler at email@example.com, or find him on Twitter.