Thursday, March 20
MUSIC: We all like showing off our musical tastes, but sending Spotify links that may or may not get clicked gets old fast. At Little Miss Whiskey’s SuperBest Friends Forever, a bunch of local media types will take turns deejaying and will let you step in and play a track or two—it’s like those dorm hangouts you had in college, only with more expensive booze and without the threat of an RA busting you. Free. 7:30 PM.
SEX: In the past decade or so, few people have done more to make others feel comfortable talking about sex and their own sexuality than Dan Savage, the mastermind behind Savage Love and the It Gets Better campaign. His film festival, called the Hump! Tour, will feature 15 short films about sex that are funny, heartbreaking, dramatic, and everything in between. Tickets ($20) are available online. 8 and 10 PM (also Friday at 8 and 10 and Saturday at 4, 6, 8, and 10).
BASKETBALL: It’s the first day of the NCAA tournament, so it’s national pretend-you’re-sick-and-go-drink-at-a-bar-all-day day. One good option: Jack Rose, which serves up half-price appetizers on its heated rooftop, along with $5 pints of beer and alcoholic punch. It’s also hosting a bracket tournament if you check it out tonight. Free. All day.
COMEDY: The Encyclopedia Show DC is back to help learn you a little somethin’ about obsolete diseases such as smallpox and “demonic possession,” and some likely insane characters spouting off about how homosexuality and AIDS are both obsolete diseases. As always, it’s likely to be irreverent, surprising, and a ton of fun. Just wear a face mask so you don’t catch anything. Tickets ($8) are available online. 8 PM.
Friday, March 21
MUSIC: Rhett Price has become a YouTube star for his impromptu violin covers of pop songs like Taylor Swift’s “Trouble” in the Boston T. Catch him at a free, promptu performance at the Renaissance Hotel in Dupont. Drinks are five bucks during the performance. Free. 6 PM.
IMPROV: What’s better than actors performing improv? Puppets performing improv, of course. The Fuzz Ups are some local comics you’ve probably seen around, but they’ll be hiding under a box or something to show off the comedic chops of their not-so-elaborate puppet alter-egos—perfect for fans of the Muppets or Team America. If puppets aren’t exactly your style, there’ll also be three people-based improv troupes to satisfy your craving for human flesh (gross). Tickets ($12) are available online. 10 PM.
E-CIGS: “Vapers” have taken something that seemed gimmicky and weird (electronic cigarettes) and turned it into something of a national phenomenon. You can get all sorts of weird flavored e-cigs now, and it’s partly to do with people willing to hack an e-cig and experiment with it. The National Vapers Club will host its annual Vapefest at the Hyatt Dulles, where you can check out the newest technologies and hang out with other vapers. Tickets ($25) are available online. 2 to 10 PM (also Saturday).
Saturday, March 22
SEWING: Do you like sewing? Have you always wanted to learn how to sew? If you answered yes to either of those questions, check out the DC Modern Quilt Guild’s sewing party at the Anacostia Arts Center. You can pick up some fancy new tricks or figure out how to sew that button back on your pants so you don’t have to ask your dry cleaner to do it. Free. 10:30 to 4:30.
ST. PATRICK’S DAY: By now, ShamrockFest is an institution. You probably know the deal, but here’s what you’re in for: a massive amount of beer trucks serving up green swill, thousands of people, 30 music acts (plus Dropkick Murphys headlining), dancing, games, and all sorts of other nonsense. It’s like going out in Clarendon but confined to a stadium and with a million people. Tickets ($30) are available online. 3 PM.
COMEDY: Fort Fringe hosts the finals of the March Madness of Comedy. After a month of smaller competitions, six finalists bring the best they’ve got in an attempt to be named the funniest man or woman in the District. Tickets ($15) are available online. 8 PM.
ARTINI: After more than a month of leadup, Artini is finally here. The Corcoran’s main party of the year features ten cocktails stirred up by DC’s best mixologists. Each one is inspired by a famous work of art. After you’re sufficiently liquored up, you can hit the dance floor, chat up other art lovers, and check out the Corcoran’s collection. Tickets ($125) are available online. 8:30 PM.
Sunday, March 23
SOCCER: Get ready for a summer of soccer with a spring of soccer. Del Campo screens El Clasico, the Real Madrid vs. FC Barcelona match that takes most of Europe by storm each year. Learn how to shout “Gol,” because you’ll be doing it a lot this summer. Beers are $5, and sandwiches will be discounted. Free. 4 PM.
BOOZE: Speaking of the World Cup, Jack Rose hosts a cachaça tasting, which is the main ingredient in the absolutely delicious Brazilian caipirinha. If you want to be “culturally in the know” this summer, you’re going to need to know how to stir one up. Specialty cocktails will be $5, and food is free. 7 PM.
Know of something cool going on around town? E-mail Jason Koebler at firstname.lastname@example.org, or find him on Twitter.