7 Crazy Thanksgiving Frankenfoods Around Washington

Turkey pop-tarts, stuffing soup, and (shudder) pie-flavored vodka.

Skip the turducken and go for Ted's turkey pop-tarts instead. Photograph courtesy of Ted's Bulletin.

Turducken isn’t the only Frankenfood that pops up on Thanksgiving. Something about the excessive nature of the holiday makes chefs think: Sure, why not put a cheesecake on top of a pecan pie “crust”? Should you crave something more extreme than the traditional five-carbs-on-one-plate, here are seven solid options.

Stuffing soup at Baby Wale

1124 Ninth St., NW

Everyone’s favorite Thanksgiving side in liquid form. Buttery croutons float in a rich, stuffing-y stock, perfect for scooping with a spoon without shame.

Turkey pop-tarts at Ted’s Bulletin

Multiple locations

Like your favorite breakfast pastry, minus the fake strawberry, plus a savory filling of turkey and house-made stuffing. A cranberry sauce glaze and dollop of sweet potato mash finish off this toasty strudel. Preorder for pickup November 24 through 28 (closed Thanksgiving).

Thanksgiving pizza at Arcuri

2400 Wisconsin Ave., NW

If Pizza Hut were behind this dish there’d be a stuffing-stuffed crust, but we’ll take the mild excess of a pie topped with roasted turkey, chestnuts, Brussels sprouts, cranberry mostarda, and bacon. Available through November.

Pumpkin-pecan cheesecake-pie at Cheesecake Factory

Multiple area locations

Who needs homemade crust when you can just swap in another pie? The Factory’s turducken of desserts blends a pumpkin pie and cheesecake, which sits atop a whole pecan pie “crust”. Appetite spoiler alert: A slice clocks in at 910 calories—almost half the FDA’s recommended number per day—and 59 grams of sugar.

Leftover popovers at BLT Steak

1625 I St., NW

The downtown steakhouse celebrates Black Friday each year by offering its signature popovers filled with yesterday’s feast: roast turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, and truffled whipped potatoes ($10 at the bar or to go). We don’t recommend shopping for tight pants after.

Pumpkin doughnut muffins at Baked & Wired

1052 Thomas Jefferson St., NW

Could muffnuts be the next cronut? Yes, at least on November 27. Baked pumpkin muffins are dusted doughnut-style with a tasty coating of cinnamon-sugar.

Imitation pecan pie vodka from Pinnacle

Multiple (too many?) local liquor stores

Best swigged direcly from the bottle while crying and reheating a box of Stouffer’s Thanksgiving Tonight.

Food Editor

Anna Spiegel covers the dining and drinking scene in her native DC. Prior to joining Washingtonian in 2010, she attended the French Culinary Institute and Columbia University’s MFA program in New York, and held various cooking and writing positions in NYC and in St. John, US Virgin Islands.