Monday, December 15
COMEDY: There are plenty of free open-mike nights in the city, but the shows that guarantee laughs usually cost you. That’s not the case tonight—the Kennedy Center hosts Mark Normand, who recently got a special on Comedy Central and regularly plays shows in New York City. Free. 6 PM.
MARKET: DC9 is hosting its Deck the Halls holiday market, where you’ll find vintage and new clothes, arts and crafts, food, jewelry, and other Christmasy things designed and sold by your neighbors. Except a bit of a punk rock flair, plus booze, of course. Free. 7 PM.
Tuesday, December 16
FILM: In spite of—or maybe because of—their service in Iraq and Afghanistan, several soldiers have gone into the world of standup. For the documentary Comedy Warriors, John Wager paired five veterans with comedians such as Lewis Black, BJ Novak, Bob Saget, and Zach Galifianakis to teach them a bit about the craft. It’s not a competition, per se, but their improvement is quite impressive. The film will be screened at the DC Jewish Community Center, and Joe Kashnow, one of the veterans in the film, will do a quick Q&A and comedy set afterward. Tickets ($12.50) are available online. 7:30 PM.
Wednesday, December 17
FLEA MARKET: Black Cat is hosting Rock-N-Shop, which isn’t holiday-themed but is still a good place to find gifts. The “rock ’n’ roll” garage sale offers old flyers, vinyl, CDs, band shirts, and other music-related stuff, and there’s music and drinks all night. Free. 8 PM.
BURLESQUE: Rock & Roll Hotel hosts Toyland After Hours, which sounds like the Toy Story of burlesque—think, nutcracker dancers, sideshow and vaudeville performances, and that sort of thing. Tickets ($10) are available online. 9 PM.
Thursday, December 18
ART: ArtJamz is hosting its Christmas party, which will give you three hours of studio time to make some sort of masterpiece. The canvas and all paints are provided, as are two classes—Winter WonderLandscape and Ugly Sweater Patterns. You’ll also get a beer, cocktail, or glass of wine, and you’ll leave with one gift already crossed off your list. Tickets ($20 to $25) are available online. 5:30 or 8 PM.
Know of something cool going on around town? E-mail Jason Koebler at firstname.lastname@example.org, or find him on Twitter at @jason_koebler.