News & Politics

The 9 Kinds of Metro Haters

When Metro melts down, Twitter lights up. Here’s a typology of the different kinds of anger that riders express.

The Nostalgics

Illustrations by Todd Detwiler.

Metro was so much better when there were only three lines.

The Doomsayers

Often it seems like the apocalypse will arrive before the train…

Related: The Infuriating History of How Metro Got So Bad

The Nihilists

…And sometimes it actually does.

The Comedians

These people would be out of material if the trains ran on time.

The Paranoiacs

Metro is out to get these people—personally.

The New York Exceptionalists

This would never happen on the F train!

The Wonks

It’s Washington, so there are plenty of people with smarty-pants ideas.

The Potty-Mouths

Politeness gets you nowhere, so fuck it.

The Hacks

Because of course you had to drag politics into it.

This article appears in our December 2015 issue of Washingtonian.

Staff Writer

Benjamin Freed joined Washingtonian in August 2013 and covers politics, business, and media. He was previously the editor of DCist and has also written for Washington City Paper, the New York Times, the New Republic, Slate, and BuzzFeed. He lives in Adams Morgan.