According to local blog Borderstan, a dozen women have been on the lam since August 12, when, overcome by that fourth-meal feeling, they hit up a 7-Eleven on Connecticut Avenue for some 2 AM jumbo-slice alternatives. According to the cashier working that night, the women in this video stole $150 worth of snacks. To put that sum in terms we all understand, they allegedly walked (scurried) away with the equivalent value of 116 Taquitos…or did they?
I’ve watched this video at least ten times, and I just can’t see how it’s possible they smuggled $15o worth of product. They are wearing super cute but definitely slight going-out clothes, and the largest pocketbook I see is smaller than a paperback. There is just nowhere to hide 70 bags of XXtra Flamin’ Hots. What could be expensive enough and small enough? Slim Jims? Nerds Ropes?
And while I totally admit than Person of Interest #7 does look a little interesting as she uses her wristlet to hide her face from the security camera, it feels equally clear to me that Person of Interest #8 may just have fallen in with the wrong crowd. When her friends skedaddle she follows, but not before leaving her (admittedly partially drunk) Orange Gatorade behind inside the store!
Anyway, if you think you know whodunnit you should call the DC Police at 202-727-9099. But if you have a theory about how they did it, just email me instead. Because I really, really want to understand.
Amanda has contributed to Washingtonian since 2016. She has written about the right-wing media personality Britt McHenry, chronicled her night with Stormy Daniels, and come clean about owning too much stuff. She lives on H Street. She can be reached at [email protected].
