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My Roommate’s The Worst

Your weekly dose of roommates being petty.

Image capturing pettiness via iStock.

In My Roommate’s The Worst, we ask anonymous Washingtonians to share their horror stories of living with roommates who can sometimes (or always) suck. On Wednesdays, these snapshots of pettiness, passive-aggression, and downright bad behavior go on the internet. Have a good story? Email roommates@washingtonian.com.

Age at the time: 23
Occupation/title at the time: Meetings coordinator
Living situation: Two bedroom, two-bathroom apartment with a den
Neighborhood: Ballston
Number of roommates: 2
Rent contribution: $800

What happened: One of my roommates decided to go on a two-week cleanse with her boyfriend. You may know it as the Master Cleanse. This consisted of salt water in the morning, a lemonade-cayenne pepper mixture during the day, and herbal tea at night. (Side note: I personally don’t believe these diets are a healthy or sustainable weight loss solution, but if you want to do it, more power to you.)

The “cleanse” takeover of the fridge and kitchen area wasn’t the problem. The problem was the boyfriend, who decided to move into our apartment during the two weeks for “moral support.” If our two-bedroom and den setup was cozy for three people (and it was), there was zero room for a fourth person to regularly use the kitchen—and the bathroom that I shared with them. They would hog the bathroom (together) a lot since they were only drinking liquids. There was minimal cleaning on their part and always some remnants in the toilet. But the horror story doesn’t stop there. Since the two-week cleanse and cohabitation were such great successes, they decided to keep on with the latter … for the remainder of the lease. Despite mine and my other roommate‘s multiple attempts to communicate our displeasure with living with a fourth roommate, he remained with us for those long six months—for free.

And so marks the last time I ever lived with a random.

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