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Washingtonian Today: The Mueller Audiobook Is Here!

Photograph by Evy Mages

About Washingtonian Today

Washingtonian Today is not just another political news roundup. Instead, this daily morning brief provides local context on national news, catches you up on what’s happening at Washingtonian, points you toward super duper awesome things to do around town, and lets you in on some special events going on in-house. Sign up here to receive Washingtonian Today in your inbox every morning.

Drown out the harsh realities of the world with an ASMR audiobook of the Mueller Report. Okay, it’s not actually ASMR, but I bet an audio recording of 400-odd pages of legalese can relax even the most stressed-out listener. With the book clocking in at just over 19 hours, you too can count yourself as an informed citizen after however many commutes it takes to the completed folder of your Audible library, aka one weekend Red Line trip.  If you’re looking for a free coffee to accompany your unabridged Mueller dive, chase around the little red wagon The Economist is towing around to various DC locations for the next month. If only that Robert Mueller-themed ice cream truck from MoveOn was still around—I could use a scoop of Cartel Almond Brittle on this warm Tuesday.

Oh, remember Virginia? According to a report in the Washington Post, Lieutenant Governor Justin Fairfax, who was accused of sexual assault by two women, reaped a $50,000 donation from a friend. Governor Ralph Northam, whose yearbook featured a photo of one man wearing blackface and another in a Klan robe, also received a five-figure donation last week. And to think just a few months ago we wondered how they’d weather their scandals.

Happy Tuesday. I’m your author with some bittersweet personal news, Brittany Shepherd (bshepherd@washingtonian.com). As some of you may have seen elsewhere, I am wrapping up my time at this wonderful magazine to pursue a new job covering the 2020 presidential campaign. Which means, in turn, we will be putting Washingtonian Today on ice until a replacement is hired. But don’t fret—you will all be getting a few more days of me. On Monday, we’ll all say our proper goodbyes. Will Peischel (wpeischel@washingtonian.com) contributed reporting today.

OH, BTW, to answer the question on everyone’s minds, here’s what the White House Easter Bunny wore yesterday—

The guac is extra, but the commute won’t be: Chipotle plans to open a location in Anacostia on May 8. That means Southeast is getting its third location, inching it slightly closer to Northwest’s 13 and Northeast’s 4.

What we have cooking at Washingtonian:

Our picks for things to do around town:

PERFORMANCE UK-based percussion ensemble STOMP uses everyday items—from Zippo lighters and brooms to hubcaps and garbage cans—to create rhythms on stage. This eight-member group, which has appeared everywhere from Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood to the 2012 Olympic Games Closing Ceremony, will bring its choreographed percussion to the National Theatre this week. Through April 28. $45-$69.

PODCAST The We Hate Movies podcast will record live at the DC Improv on Tuesday night, discussing the 2000 film Gone in 60 Seconds. Hear four comedians discuss this bad movie (starring Nicolas Cage and Angelina Jolie) as fodder for random tangents, trivia, and inane plot details that just don’t make sense. $25, 7:30 PM.

Good reads:

Here’s what actually happened during the CNN town hall marathon yesterday. (Politico)

Big events from Washingtonian:

Sip sip rosé! Join us as we toast to spring at our Rosé Soirée on Thursday, May 16, at Long View Gallery! It will be an evening full of wine from local and national vendors, light bites, and music. Use code sipsiprose for 15 percent off your ticket at washingtonian.com/rose.

An evening under the sea: We’re celebrating the best restaurants in the Washington area at Best of Washington, presented by Lexus, on Thursday, June 6, at the National Building Museum. Tickets are selling fast to the kick-off party of the summer, so get yours today at washingtonian.com/bestof. Want 20 percent off your tickets? Use code bestofbrittany.

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Staff Writer

Brittany Shepherd covers the societal and cultural scene in political Washington. Before joining Washingtonian as a staff writer in 2018, Brittany was a White House Correspondent for Independent Journal Review. While she has lived in DC for a number of years now, she still yearns for the fresh Long Island bagels of home. Find her on Twitter, often prattling on about Frasier.