Overlooked: Best Missed Connections of the Week

So Close But Yet So Far 😐 I Need Advice!–w4w–29 (MoCo)
Date: 2010-04-19, 11:23PM EDT

I think that the woman in my leasing office is so beautiful, I want to ask her out for a drink, but I don’t think she is into woman. . .Errr What to do? Or should I just move on?

Lady friend, this is Missed Connections, not Dear Abby. Get it together.

Hotter than Edward?–m4m (Golds Midtown)
Date: 2010-04-19, 9:01PM EDT

Yes. You are. 🙂

Blasphemy! No man—or woman, for that matter—is hotter/prettier than Edward . . . because we’re so clearly talking about the Twilight vampire, right?

NICE bulge!—obvious connection on Metro today–m4m (Metro–you know which line)
Date: 2010-04-21, 5:41PM EDT

Yeh, so I know it’s a long shot that you’d be reading this, since you’re probably not into guys and I’m not either, but. . .
Today between 7am and 2pm, you were standing on the Metro platform and seemed to be waiting for a train to arrive. As luck would have it, so was I.
Your clothing was a little more casual than some other people who got on our train, and mine was more or less casual.
We both got on the same car, and you stood while I sat, or vice versa.
I could clearly see your groinal region and you were sporting a bulge, as if you have outwardly protruding genitalia. SWEET.
Then I looked at your face and our eyes crossed, but not like one of those lazy-eye retards (is that the proper terminology?)
Write me back and tell me the secondary color on my socks and the brand of that kid’s backpack who got off the car behind us a few stops before we did.
I’d really like to buy you a pot of coffee and stick my tongue in all your pores, even though I am straight.
xxoo

Hmm, let’s see: You post on the m2m section of Missed Connections, you have an eye for detail, you also have an eye for men’s groins, and you want to stick your tongue inside a man’s “pores.” Yeah, bro, why would anyone ever think you’re a geigh?

Look Good Naked (red tank top)–m4w–31 (Fitness First/Arlington)
Date: 2010-04-22, 9:23AM EDT

I know this is a long shoot but hey at least I am trying! I have been looking at your for a while now. You normally work out in the mornings and leave around 8:30 ish. This morning I heard you singing. Was that Spanish? One time I tried to start up a conversation but when you are working out you don’t really seem to pay attention to anything else. I guess it’s the only reason why you haven’t realized that I am watching you every morning or have you? Lol if you have you should know who I am, I just want to say I think you are Beautiful and would love to take you out sometime for coffee/ drinks. Whatever!

If you see this just give me a chance you won’t regret it!

Let’s just say that if you’re as subtle in your conversation as you are in your titling of personal adds, 31 Fitness First from Arlington, her ignoring you may be a conscious decision.

DC2NY bus line Friday 4/16/10–w4m–28 (Dupont Circle–20th/Mass)
Date: 2010-04-19, 1:39PM EDT

Me: The taller half of a female duo taking the DC2NY bus Friday 4/16/10.

You: Resembled a taller/less psychotic Johnny Knoxville, with a dash of Levi Johnston thrown in for good measure. You were brazenly smoking in line before the bus boarded. You offered us your jacket when it began to rain, and you carried an oversized vintage leather duffel. Your insolence was intoxicating, and we both deeply regret not inviting you to the back of the bus to partake of our vodka and pomegranate juice concoction. Perhaps some other time?

Does this sound like the beginning of a really bad porn to anyone else?

I gave you a hug coupon–m4w (old town)
Date: 2010-04-21, 9:52PM EDT

You came in right at close. You wanted something we didn’t have. So I gave you a coupon for one free hug and made you something special. It may be cheesy to post here but hope you or one of your friends sees this and passes it on. I think we would have fun hanging out plus you still owe me that hug.

Awww! (But only if you two are in middle school or elderly.)

Blonde w pink highlight on orange line–m4w–23 (Orange line Clarendon to E Falls Church)
Date: 2010-04-21, 12:26AM EDT

You rode with your cute little sister, brother, and napping nanny. We giggled at each other and celebrated 420 a little. I said goodnight, but I wish we could have said more.

What! She’s riding the metro with her nanny—if you’d said more you would have rightfully ended up in jail.

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