If there were a Halloween zodiac, 2013 would be the Year of the Candy Corn. It seems there are more riffs on those sugary little faux-corns than ever, from limited-edition candy corn Oreos to a Starburst fruit-flavored variety. Here’s what to expect on your last-minute Halloween candy run.
Candy Corn “Flavor Creme” Oreo ($2.99 at Target)
While these limited-edition cookies don’t reach the deliciousness level of your typical “golden” Oreo—which is high—they’re not bad. And that’s the key: they’re not bad. Candy corn is, for most humans, pretty gross after the first fistful*. Candy corn Oreos, on the other hand, are festive but don’t taste like saccharine kernels of despair. They’re sweeter, and faintly corn-y, but you can take down a stack. Sadly we’re recommending the white whale of Halloween treats, given they’re only available at Target and widely sold out.
Things go downhill pretty fast, folks.
Brach’s S’mores Candy Corn
The package advertises that “America’s #1 S’mores Candy Corn” is “made with real honey!” Yes, and also corn syrup, hydrogenated palm kernel oil, titanium dioxide, and the banned-in-some-countries Red 40 food dye. It’s like giving Joan Rivers credit for her eyeballs. Regardless, the kernels taste like old Power Bars and make your cabinets smell weird. No s’more, please.
Starburst Fruit-Flavored Candy Corn
Have you ever wished Starburst were smaller and waxier? Then this is your candy. As one taster commented: “If Starburst were commemorated at Madame Tussauds, this is what they’d taste like.”
M&Ms White Chocolate Candy Corn
As if white chocolate wasn’t already the albino stepchild of the cocoa world, Mars decided to marry it with the candy family’s boring middle son. Granted, the orange, white, and yellow M&Ms may be the best of the worst. They only look and kind of smell like candy corn, but taste more like sweeter-than-average white chocolate.
*When you’re measuring Halloween candy consumption, fist-size portions are an adequate scale.