Parenting

Some Tips For Winning Washingtonian’s Second Annual Cutest Baby Contest From a Former Cutest Baby

Some Tips For Winning Washingtonian’s Second Annual Cutest Baby Contest From a Former Cutest Baby
Photo from Flick user Quinn Dombrowski.

If your Facebook feed is anything like mine, then it is an infinity scroll of other people’s offspring, chilling in Pack ‘n Plays amid a sea of all-natural, BPA-free blocks. And if your personality is anything like mine, then you secretly think your mini-me is the cutest Baby-Banz wearing bambino at Happy Hour. And if your au pair is anything like my au pair, your baby also speaks French and looks très chic in a beret.

The real question is, then, how to set your human child apart in a world of Insta-hungry neonates? Please allow me, a former Cutest Baby, to offer some advice. (Note: The following photos do not depict entrants in Washingtonian’s Cutest Baby Contest; you still have till September 21 to enter your cute baby and can vote on finalists for two days after that.)

Tip #1: The cutest thing you can do with a baby is put her on an oversized piece of furniture, like a papasan chair or, if time permits, a throne.

Photo by Flickr user Risto Kuulasmaa.
Photo by Flickr user Risto Kuulasmaa.

Tip #2: The second cutest thing you can do with a baby is put her in an undersized yet cozy space, like a laundry basket overspilling with fresh linen or a diorama of the solar system.

Photo by Flickr user Cara Donovan.
Photo by Flickr user Cara Donovan.

Tip #3: It is unobjectionably cute when a baby plays with a large dog, confusing the relationship between pet and owner in ways that are sure to make voters smile.

Photo by Flickr user Sébastien Garnier.
Photo by Flickr user Sébastien Garnier.

Tip #4: Babies in bucket hats. It’s so simple.

Photo by Flickr user Tara Faul.
Photo by Flickr user Tara Faul.

Tip #5: Photograph your baby doing something unexpected, like driving a car or making French Press coffee.

Photo by Flickr user Cheryl Harvey.
Photo by Flickr user Cheryl Harvey.

Tip #6: Two words: SIPPY CUP

Photo by Flickr user Crystal Hendrix Hirschorn.
Photo by Flickr user Crystal Hendrix Hirschorn.

Tip #7: Bow-ties, monocles, moustaches, top hats, canes. There’s no such thing as a cute baby who looks too much like Mr. Monopoly.

professor_baby
Photo by Flickr user Quinn Dombrowski.

Tip #8: Hurry up! The deadline for submissions is September 21st at 11PM and a portion of the proceeds go to the Children’s National Health System. Enter here!

 

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Staff writer

Amanda joined Washingtonian in January 2016. She has written about Maryland brewery Flying Dog’s First Amendment fight, pored over Hillary Clinton’s emails, and come clean about owning too much stuff. She lives on H Street.