Finding Unexpected Places to Be Alone

I never understood who actually frequented the wine bar near the checkout line at my neighborhood Harris Teeter. But then on a grocery run without my kids, I stopped for a generous $3 half glass of Pinot Noir. It was a rare moment to myself, and it suddenly all made sense. I’d found a mini-retreat tucked between the produce aisle and the seafood counter.

Alone time is rare with two toddlers. There’s always a kid climbing into the bed or following me into the bathroom. So any opportunity for some solo time feels like a form of self-care—no mom guilt here. Real luxury, to me, is a dozen oysters at Pearl Dive that I don’t have to share. It’s a piña colada on the patio of Colada Shop without lugging a diaper bag. It’s a table for one at Rakuya where I can order the chirashi bowl my children would never eat.

At the very least, it’s Harris Teeter. I hear there’s even live jazz on Thursdays.

—Jessica Sidman

In Defense of “Little Treat” Culture

There are many different perspectives on what constitutes self-care, and the concept’s commodification has become a hot topic. I’m here to defend it–to a degree. First, some ground rules: Purchases made in the name of self-care can’t blow your budget (not worth the long-term stress), and your treat of choice shouldn’t be detrimental to your overall health. Otherwise, I think a little commercialization is okay from time to time. (Ahem, spas aren’t free.) Take the humble cup of coffee. A latte made by someone else just tastes better, and a fulfilling sense of calm comes from holding a hot drink. A little candle? Why, yes–not only are candles fun to buy, but lighting a wick, especially one with a scent you enjoy, can turn drab moments into serene scenes. A bath bomb? Sign me up. If a spa service is out of the question, adding spa-like flair to basic grooming is a whole-body gift. And on an especially stressful day, when the “treat” you’re buying–a grocery delivery or a takeout meal–saves you energy, it’s not just a delight but also a way to gain back time that can offer a sense of relief. And isn’t that something?

–Amy Moeller

Taking a Late, Extra-Long Lunch

A wise person—probably Teddy Roosevelt, possibly some bot spamming inspirational quotes on Instagram—once said that comparison is the thief of joy. And that’s certainly true when said comparison leaves you feeling inadequate. But when it works out in your favor? Yeah, buddy. That’s why I recommend clocking out early, heading to your favorite restaurant, grabbing a window seat, and enjoying a 3 pm workday lunch.

You’ll pretty much have the place to yourself. You’ll get quick and attentive service. You’ll certainly be hungry, so your meal will be extra-­satisfying. Best of all, you’ll have what seems like an eternity to luxuriate in it, thanks to the joy of comparison. Because while everyone else is scrambling to wrap up meetings and hit deadlines and answer emails, all in the hopes of getting to the point where they can think about happy hour or maybe grabbing a bite—well, you’re already there, unhurried and unbothered.

—Patrick Hruby

This article appears in the December 2023 issue of Washingtonian.