Sometimes all it takes is a little intoxication to gain a little clarity. For Don Draper, it’s a cocktail of amphetamines and bourbon. For Selina Meyer, it’s a strange mixture of St John’s wort and Prozac (you’d think Gary would know by now which homeopathic remedies might react with the Veep’s prescription pills, but never mind) that leads her to decide enough is enough. That, and walking through a plate-glass door right before she’s supposed to be schmoozing billionaires for her possible presidential run six years from now.
Selina’s suffered a lot of indignity over the course of two seasons of Veep, so the question was always whether her ambition or her self-esteem would emerge victorious in her quest to reign over the Oval Office. Now we know—not even living in the Naval Observatory and flying in Air Force Two can make up for being a presidential chew toy. Maybe it was the glass ceiling, sorry, door, that she shattered, or maybe it was the herbal pain relievers talking, but it was a curiously sobering and thoughtful end to an otherwise incredibly funny episode. The sight of Amy and Dan riding in a golf cart while Gary, Mike, and Jonah all huff and puff their way through a 10K to try to get Selina’s attention, followed by the Veep talking about healthy living with blood pouring out of her nose deserves its own spot in the annals of TV history. (I’d give extra props to the writing team for including a very prescient whistleblower, but that information seemed to be dropped mostly so it could be fleshed out next week.)
Danny Chung: Chung is basically Marco Rubio, what with the youth, the earnestness, and the Spotify playlist full of young, hip music that he in no way listens to. To be fair, only Rubio can really tell us if he actually is as passionate about Pitbull as he says he is, but Chung’s playlist was devised entirely like Dan, who’s angling for a spot on the governor’s team. As is Amy, it turns out, but she doesn’t think in hashtags like Dan does (“young Chungers”).
Selina: I’m grasping at straws here, because walking into a plate glass door, getting high off her ass, and offering to buy Mike’s boat doesn’t exactly sound like a typical winner, but her determination to no longer be POTUS’s scapegoat was the most serene and confident we’ve ever seen Selina Meyer, even if it was being said while Gary and Mike were retching outside the limo. “You can see what’s coming, Amy,” she says. “He’s going to implicate me in all of it, and then it’s going to be two years of standing next to a man that I loathe . . . I’m done.” Brava.
Russell Crowe. He’s already in the presidential suite of the hotel Selina gets stuck in, meaning she’s left with a considerably smaller one. Presumably playing Jor-El gets you mad upgrade status.
Taiwanese video reenactments of horrible vice presidential injuries: Stand down, Psy. There’s a new viral strain in town.
POTUS: Even Gaddafi’s sons are polling better, and all of Washington’s abuzz about a whistleblower threatening to reveal the truth about the hostage crisis. Also, someone in his own party is threatening to run as a challenger. If ever there were a time to bypass Jonah and call Sue directly, this might be it.
Jimmy Cliff/Katy Perry/Anyone Mike or Gary listen to on their iPods.
Gingerbread: It gets a bad enough rap already without being the baked good an intoxicated person immediately associates with useless Mike.
Anyone at an orgy with Amy’s sister: There you go, trying to have carefree, casual sex, and she’s asking for health records and killing all the momentum.
Leonard Cohen. You go and write a genius song and then Ben sings it at karaoke in a Mexican restaurant and changes the word “Hallelujah” to “jalapeño.”
“I’ll go kiss some hateful billionaire ass by myself, give them all donor boners.” (Selina)
“Young Chungers! It’s like you think in hashtags.” (Chung)
“Ma’am, look at you. You’re wearing a robe. Unless you want to go and sing a chorus of ‘Look at Me, I’m Sandra Dee’ you can’t go downstairs.” (Mike)
“Gary gave her something that’s reacting with her antidepressants, and it’s turning her into Julie Andrews.” (Amy)
“Burn everything incriminating, including this building. Burn all the White House pets and then burn yourself.” (Ben)
“Which one of us do you think Andre the Giant jagoff is going to obey?” (Ben)