News & Politics

The Perils of High-Definition TV: Topper Needs Some Visine

High-definition TV, which displays a picture up to ten times clearer than regular TV, is opening eyes in more ways than one.

The sharper picture provides such detail that the imperfections of TV personalities are dramatically visible.

HDTV watchers have been buzzing about the veins on the forehead of Desperate Housewives’ Teri Hatcher and the acne problems of late-night guest Cameron Diaz.

Such observations did not go unnoticed in the Channel 9 newsroom when the station decided to air its local news in high definition.

“Absolutely we were nervous,” says anchor/reporter Bruce Johnson. “Some went in and had their makeup entirely redone.”

Johnson didn’t name names, but shortly after the HDTV broadcasts began, evening anchor Tracey Neale’s face was smeared with purplish make-up, particularly around her eyes; she has since toned it all down.

In high definition, weathercaster Topper Shutt’s bloodshot eyes make him look like he doesn’t get enough sleep or has been staring too long at the Doppler radar.

The high-definition camera also reveals a secret about veteran anchor JC Hayward. In high def, you can tell that she’s wearing colored contact lenses to make her eyes look blue. How can you tell? One night she wore glasses on the air, and her eyes were brown again.