Enter the 14th Street Trader Joe’s, and your senses will immediately be assaulted by the mass quantity of pumpkin-themed and flavored products they keep in stock. To start, a selection of real pumpkins will greet you at the door beneath a bright orange and purple “Pumpkin Palooza” banner, followed by pumpkin products filling multiple food displays throughout the store. There are so many pumpkin-flavored items that nigh any shopper could walk in blindfolded and leave with a pumpkin-something in hand.
But where to invest your pumpkin budget? We recommend starting at the top of this list and moving down.
1. Pumpkin Bread and Muffin Mix
Spicy and sweet, pumpkin bread and pumpkin muffins are exactly what fall should taste like.
2. Gluten-free Pumpkin Bread and Muffin Mix
Because even losing some gluten can’t ruin the autumnal magic that is pumpkin bread.
3. Pumpkin Pancake and Waffle Mix
There’s nothing better than waking up on a Saturday morning to a waffle iron overflowing with pumpkin batter. Just trust us.
4. Gluten-free Pumpkin Pancake Mix
Because, again, a little less gluten never hurt anyone.
5. Pumpkin Bar Baking Mix
Pumpkin bars are practically pumpkin bread, so these earn a high slot in the ranking.
6. Pumpkin Cheesecake
A huge pain to make for yourself, so you might as well stick with this frozen one, which has no artificial flavors, colors, or preservatives.
7. Pumpkin Spice Salted Caramels
The regular Trader Joe’s salted caramels are a dream, so a little pumpkin spice in there can only enhance the experience.
8. Actual Pumpkins
The only fall decor you need.
9. Pumpkin Ice Cream
The hint of cinnamon and the creamy texture of pumpkin makes for an A+ fall version of summer’s best treat.
10. Mini Ginger Pumpkin Ice Cream Mouthfuls
While we can’t endorse the laziness of the product naming crew on this one–“Mouthfuls,” really?–pumpkin ice cream with ginger cookies is a winning combo.
11. Pumpkin Butter
The only way to own a better fall spread is to buy apple butter.
12. Pumpkin Pie
While pumpkin pie is usually a safe and tasty way to injest pumpkin, store-bought pies are often disappointments.
13. Mini Pumpkin Pies
And the same goes for the mini version.
14. Frozen Pumpkin Waffles
When faced with the option of fresh waffles, frozen waffles can only be deemed far inferior.
15. Pumpkin Soup
Fall veggies make for perfectly creamy and delicious soups, and pumpkin is no exception.
16. Pita Crisps with Cranberries and Pumpkin Seeds
Pumpkin didn’t need to go here. Pita chips were doing just fine on their own.
17. Pumpkin Granola Bars
For the truly pun-kin obsessed.
18. Pumpkin Macarons
Distastefully spongy in their natural form, we don’t think that making them pumpkin and freezing them is likely to improve their texture.
19. Pumpkin Beer
Your best bet of Trader Joe’s pumpkin beer selection is the Dogfish Head. But there are better pumpkin beers on the market that are more worth your time and taste buds.
20. Pumpkin Seed Brittle
Brittle is bad enough–we don’t need a pumpkin seed version.
21. Pumpkin Tortilla Chips
You know what won’t go well with salsa? Pumpkin flavored tortilla chips.
22. Pumpkin Bread Pudding
This frozen bread pudding is looks like a mushy disappointment waiting to happen.
23. Pumpkin Spice Coffee
Flavored coffee is a cruel trick to play on your under-caffeinated tongue, and one should never buy cheap coffee that’s already ground.
24. Pumpkin Mochi
Completely unnecessary.
Caroline Cunningham joined Washingtonian in 2014 after moving to the DC area from Cincinnati, where she interned and freelanced for Cincinnati Magazine and worked in content marketing. She currently resides in College Park.
