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Angry Reviews of DC Landmarks: The Lincoln Memorial

"A huge creepy statue of a strange looking guy."

Lincoln Memorial at sunset with lake reflections, Washington DC

An occasional series of unfortunate experiences at well-known sites around DC.

Think a statue of the man who ended slavery surrounded by majestic pillars is beyond criticism? Think again. Despite its status as DC’s most-visited national landmark, the Lincoln Memorial still finds ways to underwhelm visitors. Here’s why it’s actually a huge white marble disgrace:

 

1. Obviously stole design from real life ancient things.

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2. Stripping not allowed.

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3. But all kinds of other behaviors are allowed.

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4. Jungle-gym elements not fully realized.

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5. Waste of good marble.

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6. Not here for your Mr. Smith Goes To Washington fantasies.

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7. Or your private viewing requests.

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8. Duck holocaust at nearby reflecting pool.

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9. At the end of the day, it’s just a man sitting in a big chair.

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(Actual Legitimate Gripe: National Park Service toilet paper is the worst.)

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