Distance from DC: Five hours.
What happens if you put extra drops of bubble bath in a hot tub shaped like a seven-foot-tall Champagne glass? During our stay in the four-level Champagne Tower suite at Pennsylvania’s Cove Haven Resort, my wife and I learned that if you don’t practice restraint before turning on the jets, the bubbles will explode all over the room—not unlike an overfilled washing machine. But over the top—though perhaps not this literally—is the point of Cove Pocono Resorts. The two sister properties in the Pocono Mountains, 200-room Cove Haven and 144-room Paradise Stream, are within 45 minutes of each other, and both embrace unabashed romance in its cheesiest interpretation.

The “more is more” philosophy means a kitschy charm, with Greek- and Roman-style columns in the restaurant, neon-colored lights, and nightclubs with tiered levels overlooking the stages. In case there’s any question where you are, a mural at Paradise Stream Resort is emblazoned with greetings from the land of love. The amorous details are dialed up in the massive rooms and suites. There you’ll find romantic pools to canoodle in privately, from hot tubs to en-suite swimming pools. In the Champagne Tower rooms, tubs take the form of lofty coupe glasses, and a separate pool is shaped like a heart. Most rooms are also outfitted with a sauna.
Unsurprisingly, the beds exude an on-the-nose sensuality reminiscent of an Austin Powers film. In the Champagne Tower suite, round king-size beds are surrounded by mirrors, and the reflective ceilings have pinpoint lights that imitate stars and constellations. Rooms also include wood fireplaces with easy-to-light logs, plus separate seating areas.
You could very well stay holed up in your room for a weekend. But if the suites channel a shagadelic spirit, the resorts’ activities feel more like scenes from Dirty Dancing. The adults-only properties are designed for couples, with restaurants, bars, nightclubs, lounges, and spas to explore together. As in Dirty Dancing, there are ballroom and salsa classes on select dates. (Don’t worry, you won’t have to perform a routine at the end of your stay.) Also similar to the film, the resort offers grown-up summer-camp activities, including cooking and mixology classes, trivia contests, and snowshoeing. Once the sun sets, you and your sweetheart can get dressed up each night for entertainment, typically comedians and music.
Every table is for two, and naturally, dinner features decadent date-night entrées such as lobster ravioli, prime rib au jus, and steak and shrimp scampi. A breakfast of waffles, omelets, and French toast is included in the room rate ($250 to $420 a night), and even as a vegetarian couple, we never lacked for options.
Are these resorts almost too much? Yes. But for anyone who loves or needs some extra romance, there may be no better place to get back in touch with the feeling of honeymoon-style infatuation. Just don’t put Baby in the corner.
This article appears in the February 2025 issue of Washingtonian.