Stephen Colbert’s super PAC might have shut itself down this week, but the comedian and founder of
Americans for a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow still has a presence in Washington thanks
to Madame Tussauds. Colbert unveiled his new wax likeness at the museum Friday. “It’s
so beautiful,” he said. “Now, if you excuse me, I’m going to go murder someone so
a piece of my soul snaps off and he becomes my horcrux.”
Colbert, who’ll also be reading from his latest book,
America Again, this afternoon at Politics and Prose,
posed for the waxwork back in June, the same day the Supreme Court’s decision on the
Affordable Care Act was announced. At the very moment that CNN erroneously reported
that the law had been overturned, Colbert was stuck, motionless, asking through clenched
teeth if someone could bring a television into the studio. “I had to sit here while
people came in and read the news to me so I had something to say for the show that
night,” he said.
Wax Stephen Colbert will be on display indefinitely at Madame Tussauds. Here’s what
live Stephen Colbert had to say about it in his prepared remarks:
“Ladies and gentlemen, there comes a time in each great man’s life when he must be
cast in wax, if only to remove unwanted body hair. Today Madame Tussauds has given
me the most precious gift of all: myself. And this little fella’s going to come in
handy the next time I get called for jury duty. It is 100 percent accurate, I’m happy
to say, down to every freckle, every wrinkle, every hair. I even sent them a DVD of
my latest colonoscopy.
“I am honored to be standing here next to my man crayon. Turns out—I learned this
from the Madame Tussaud’s people a few weeks ago—that on the color wheel my skin is
semi-gloss Romney voter. I want to thank everyone at Madame Tussauds for the honor
of becoming the latest waxican-American; being cast in wax is true immortality, as
long as the earth is not in any way getting warmer. I look forward to finally being
graced by my own presence—it’ll be a great honor for both of us. So without further
ado, I present to you all a legend on the screen—the greatest American figurine since
the Ken doll, and this one is anatomically accurate. Ladies and gentlemen: one, two,
me!”
