For the guys: Pev’s Paintball (39835 New Rd., Aldie, VA; 703-327-7640)
What better way to send off your best mate than with a good paintball to the rump? This park has been host to countless bachelor parties over the years, and it’s got the routine down pat. The eight courses feature large blowup structures and bunkerlike houses for hiding and sniping. The prices for bachelor and birthday parties range from $24 to $44 a person, depending on the group size and time on the field, and all packages include a lesson with an instructor. Check out the full price list here.
For the gals: The Washington Nationals at Nationals Park
Hot bodies, tight uniforms, and flying balls. Nope, that’s not a scene from Chippendales—it’s just another day at the ballpark. Baseball games don’t have to be a macho occasion, especially with all the man-candy to look at. Groups of 25 get reduced group rates. Check out the full list of seating options here.
For both: Crofton Go-Kart Raceway (1050 Rte. 3, S. Gambrills; 301-261-6566)
All kids love Go-Karts—and let’s face it—so do grownups. If your group wants to keep things tame without sacrificing fun, Go-Karts are a good option. The facility holds 34 Go-Karts and handles hundreds of parties a year. Keep in mind, however, that your bachelor/ette party may very well take place alongside an eight-year-old’s birthday celebration, so alcohol is prohibited. If that’s not an issue, get ready to let the motor rip. Party prices are $2.25 a lap, and groups are encouraged to bring their own food and beverages.
For the guys: Biergarten Haus (1355 H St. NE; 202-388-4053)
This German-style beer garden just opened, but we’re already hearing about its 300-person seating areas and voluminous beer menu. When its doors finally opened on June 11, the 7,000-square-foot dining space revealed two outdoor patios, three bars, and two outdoor projection-screen TVs. Basically, it’s the beer-drinking man’s idea of heaven—and the perfect place for guys to knock back some brew before the big day.
For the gals: The Park at 14th
With a swank VIP lounge featuring private-bottle service, personalized cocktails, and complimentary appetizers, the Park at 14th is a hotspot for serious partyers looking to drop some serious cash. The minimum charge for a night of high-class partying is $600 per group (up to 12 people), but that’s a small price to pay to feel like Beyoncé for the evening. Prices vary depending on your alcohol choices, but all packages include VIP admission—which allows you to skip the cover charge at the door—and gets you access to an exclusive lounge overlooking the club. Reservations are required; call 202-262-3939 or e-mail email@example.com to book your night.
For both: Charles Town Races & Slots (100 Hollywood Dr., Charles Town, WV; 800-795-7001)
Admit it: You can’t read the name of this place without singing its theme song in your head. Annoying television commercials aside, this is a great place to drink, dine, and yeah, lose a bit of money. It offers 5,000 machines across several themed areas, dog and horse races daily, and a new entertainment lounge with live music is in the works for the fall. There’s lots of slightly sinful fun for both sexes here—just make sure there’s still enough cash for the honeymoon when it’s all over. Call 800-795-7001, extension 4259 for group sales.
For the guys: Archibald’s (1520 K St., NW; 202-638-5112)
When it comes to the adult-entertainment department, Washington is a bit lacking. Despite this city’s never-ending stream of sex scandals, the government doesn’t issue many nude-dancing licenses. A decent bet is Archibald’s, which calls itself “DC’s premiere gentleman’s club since 1969.” In addition to a roster of ladies with imaginative names such as Cherri, Candi, and Paris, Archibald’s offers a full menu with items ranging from teriyaki-chicken kabobs to a 12-ounce New York strip (pun intended?) steak. Call ahead for private parties.
For the gals: The Stadium Club (2127 Queens Chapel Rd., NE; 202-269-4477), ACE All Male Dancers DC (2350 H St., NW; 202-281-6643), and Eroticasy (Eroticasy@comcast.net or 240-605-2912)
Searches for strip clubs with male dancers came up largely empty, but the Stadium Club—which features female dancers—says it’s female-friendly and has even played host to six or seven heterosexual bachelorette parties in the last two weeks. And if naked ladies don’t strike your fancy, there are several local exotic-dancing services that’ll send a scantily clad gentleman to your home for a private performance. There’s Ace Male Strippers, which says it employs only “professional models,” and Eroticasy, which has male and female dancers as well as . . . an Abe Lincoln impersonator—only in Washington.
For both: Palace of Wonders
Burlesque is alive and well at Palace of Wonders, which touts itself as the “only vaudeville stage, museum of oddities, and full bar in the world.” Skin is definitely a draw here, but the abundance of pasties, tassels, and novelty acts make this risqué venue more about entertainment than run-of-the-mill nudity. Aerial performers, contortionists, and magicians round out the eye-popping shows. And if you like your premarriage celebration enough, you can have the wedding here, too: It offers catering, personalized entertainment, and an Elvis impersonator to conduct the ceremony. What more could you ask? E-mail firstname.lastname@example.org to reserve your special day.