MOB Monday: Destination Drama

Our resident wedding etiquette expert, Leslie Milk, Washingtonian lifestyle editor and author of It’s Her Wedding But I’ll Cry If I Want To: A Survival Guide for the Mother of the Bride, answers questions from and about MOBs (or MOGs!)

A beach wedding might not be what you had in mind, but if it makes them happy…

My son and his fiancée want to hold a small destination wedding on a Caribbean island. This would mean that my parents, who are elderly and can’t fly, won’t be able to make it. Is it appropriate for me to try to convince them to do something locally?

Many couples dream of an intimate wedding on the beach and a future mother-in-law throws sand in the face of this vision at her own peril. You’d be better off offering to host a post-wedding party locally. The grandparents can toast the happy couple and you’ll be getting off to a good start with your new daughter-in-law.

I’ve never had a great relationship with my mother, but now that I’m engaged, she really wants to be involved in wedding planning. My fiancée and I are paying for the wedding ourselves, so do I have to include her?

Can you pick a few small tasks that she can handle for you, so that she doesn’t feel totally excluded? She’s not going to become your BFF after years of tension, but a small gesture may buy you a lot of peace.

Do you have a wedding etiquette question for Leslie? E-mail and we’ll get you the answer!