MoB Monday: Bridal Showers and Bachelorette Parties

Our resident wedding etiquette expert, Leslie Milk, “Washingtonian” lifestyle editor and author of “It’s Her Wedding But I’ll Cry If I Want To: A Survival Guide for the Mother of the Bride,” answers questions from and about MoBs (or MoGs!).

“Thanks for the gift. Um, you do realize you’re not invited to the wedding, right?”

My mom wants my bridesmaids to invite people to the bridal shower whom we have no intention of inviting to the wedding. Is that allowed?

If you are having a small destination wedding, no problem. But if you’re planning to have a big wedding right in the same town, it’s tacky to invite people to a shower who won’t be receiving wedding invitations. Bridal showers are just gift grabs, and, as far as I’m concerned, the fewer invitees, the better.

I’ve heard that maid of honor wants to throw a raucous bachelorette party for me, but I was hoping we’d do something more low-key. Is there a tactful way for me to express this to her?

So you don’t want to put on a veil, go bar hopping, consume anatomically correct munchies, and behave like an escapee from Jersey Shore. You should feel close enough to your maid of honor, even if she’s your sister, to make your feelings known. Many bridal parties are choosing pampering over partying as a bonding experience before the big day.

Do you have a wedding etiquette question for Leslie? E-mail and we’ll get you the answer.