It’s been another wild year, and we’ve got receipts. There were a lot of unusual animal stories, including an on-the-loose llama in Fairfax (2022’s foiled attempt at upstaging the 2021 fugitive Zebras?), a skinny-dog convention at the beach, and that time a chicken ruffled a bunch of feathers at the Pentagon. There were also some bizarre real estate stories: the time that pirate ship houseboat went up for sale, and then again when it was purchased and turned into an Airbnb—though honestly, that series had nothing on the $800,000 Fairfax home that came with a person living in the basement. There was even a story that featured elements of real estate and animals—a $4 million Great Falls mansion that hosted an open house with alpacas. And let’s not forget: Lizzo playing James Madison’s flute, “friendly” fake feds, a surprising celebrity cat, a penis park, elephant drama, and more. Join us on this weird walk down memory lane, won’t you?
And not just any pasta: Red Hen’s famous sausage rigatoni.
Despite an “Ozark”-like scenario, there’s already one offer, says the listing agent.
Fratty Parties, Secret Government Jobs, an Alleged Porno Shoot: Inside the Navy Yard Suspects’ Wild Apartment Building
“You talk to people here, you’re like, ‘Hey, what do you do for a living?’ They’re like, ‘I work for the government.’ You just know not to follow up.”
This Man Went to a Bachelor Party. When He Returned, His Front Door Was Painted Like an Old Bay Tin.
An interview about Maryland pride and living with an extremely loud door.
And it’s already under contract.
He’s a veteran, an organ donor, and possibly a squatter. No word on whether he’s single.
Trucker Convoy Stragglers Get Kicked Out of Racetrack, Form New Movement, Visit the National Mall, Don’t Go Home
The People’s Convoy may have disbanded, but some of its members plan to stick around.
Experts say it’s just a typical slithery year.
Pineapple & Pearls pays a kinky tribute to New York restaurant the Quilted Giraffe.
“The guerrillas were great—they enjoyed it.”
It comes with cannons, mermaids, and a spooky skeleton crew.
The home is listed for $4 million and has seven beds, space for 20 cars, and a guest house.
“We do not provide travel advice about individual locations in the United States,” New Zealand’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs & Trade tells Washingtonian.
Like all great love stories, it begins with a Twitter poll.
Olivia Wilde’s mom called her opponent a “devotee of Bigfoot Erotica” during her Virginia campaign.
Last week, DC Police found five fetuses in the home of pro-life activist Lauren Handy. During a press conference Tuesday, the pro-life group Progressive Anti-Abortion Uprising claimed that figure was incomplete.
“I can no longer see the funeral because there are so many TV reporters with big fuzzy mics in the way.”
Embarrassing, since Virginia is about a mile away.
“I just twerked and played James Madison’s crystal flute from the 1800s!”
“We’ll always have a cool story about the time that we bought a pirate ship,” says the new owner.
Husband Jay-Z has been floated as a potential new co-owner of the football team.
An aerial view of Legacy Park leaves little to the imagination.
Snowflake is a model, actor, and magician. He invents his own tricks and can allegedly talk.
The politician recently divulged her favorite workday lunch: hot dogs.
Michelin-starred Jônt personalizes treats and toys for pet-owning diners.
We just can’t ignore the Big Hat that was in the room, atop the head of the Commanders running back.
Three wild days at a convention for the beloved skinny dogs.
Will Dutch newcomers Trong Nhi and Nhi Linh mate with a much older dude from Miami and establish a matriarchal society?
Kolby the llama is home.
Royal Sands Social Club brings frozen cocktails and beachy food to Navy Yard.
A rum-and-coke in another glass just wouldn’t do, we guess.