I have a close group of friends from college whom I’ve seen every year since graduation—largely at weddings. And when Angie and Crouton got married this summer, they rounded out the first half of our group of six to get hitched. At each wedding, while our remaining single trio lamented the latest friend to bite the dust, we always came back to the same question: Who’s going to host the reunion next year?

When I meet my fellow bridesmaids or other single friends for lunch, sometimes they’ll mention this blog. They don’t ask me about my ideas for shower games or where my friends had their bachelorette parties. They start questioning their relationships, their single lives, even their friendships with women who may or may not ask them to be bridesmaids. For some women, the saying “Always the bridesmaid, never the bride” evokes more of a reaction than just “Oh, that’s what the title of your blog means!”

Ducky and Katie after Katie's successful toast.

For a maid of honor or a best man, one of the most terrifying things about the wedding day is giving the toast.

It sounds a little petty and selfish, but I know other maids of honor and best men would agree. The toast is the only time all the guests look at you as much as at the beautiful couple, and therefore it offers the best opportunity for screwing up. Think about it: The wedding toast is maybe one of the only three times in life that you ever really gush about how great someone is and about how much that person means to you (the other two times being eulogies and yearbook signings—both uncomfortable).

If you’ve got a crazy, stressful wedding day ahead, small stuff like this won’t matter. But I didn’t have to worry about Ducky’s groom running off (despite what he wanted me to believe with the 10 AM gag phone call: “Hey Katie, I’m on a bus to Guatemala right now. What are you up to?”) or about Ducky losing it, either (I have a picture of her calmly helping her mom get ready). So I was free to focus on not tripping—literally, down the aisle, or figuratively, during my toast.

Katie remembers old memories and creates new ones on her friend Angie's wedding day.

A lot of women complain that being a bridesmaid is a lot of work, and I’m not entirely innocent of that myself. But aside from the honor of being asked, it has another perk: You get a lot more face time with the bride on her wedding day.

It might not seem as exciting to a guy to hang around for the pre-wedding preparations and primping—Angie’s husband went golfing with the guys before the wedding—but for women, it’s something special. Throughout the day, small moments reminded me of memories I already shared with the bride—moments that would become new memories themselves.

I didn’t start wearing makeup until I was maybe 16 years old. Sure, high heels and sparkle dresses excited me as much as they did the next ten-year-old girl, but I wasn’t too jazzed about spending my free time primping. Even today, spa days, manicures, and pedicures can be fun once in a while, but if not for good company, I’d probably decline in favor of playing tennis or grabbing a beer.

So with wedding season and various trips planned for this year, I figure that in addition to working on getting in better shape, I ought to work on the other things women do to look a little better in a formal gown. And I’ve learned something: Beautiful women everywhere must be exhausted. In the past month, I’ve found beauty-related preparations to be never-ending:

Bridal boot camp? Katie says yes.

The first day I walked into my Bridal Boot Camp class, I was skeptical. My group met in the corner of the main gym—not a private instruction room. The “don’t sue us” questionnaire I had filled out over the weekend included questions about health conditions only my grandparents would have. I wondered: Would the class end up being packed full of football drills and sprints in the early-summer heat? Would it be completely sedentary weightlifting with no cardio benefit? Would I be all on my own, or would the instructor be stretched in so many directions that she wouldn’t even know my name? I was afraid of being way out of my league, or worse, that I could I have signed up for the land version of senior ladies’ water aerobics.

A few weeks ago, I got the most random text message from one of the brides: “You’re driving to the wedding, right?” she asked.

“Yup,” I replied, assuming it was about transportation arrangements. “I can pick some people up at the airport if you want.”

Just a few days later, I received a package from the bride. In it was a sweet card, a mix CD, and gas-station gift cards. It was one of the best surprises I’ve received all year.

My blog posts are typically to help other bridesmaids, but I want to leave a quick note for the brides: Take a cue from my friends, and appreciate your bridesmaids. Not only will it keep them happy and easier to manage, but it’ll strengthen your friendship, too.

I’d imagine that for a bride, it’s easy to get caught up in the business of planning your wedding. Saving money, settling family disputes, making changes to your living arrangements and your lifestyle all while working and maintaining your daily life—who has time for friends? Luckily for me, my friends do.