Eleni Engaged: Some Do’s and Don’ts

Eleni and a fellow bride-to-be share their best advice.

Eleni and Ron’s friends, Mariko and Jeff.

Last weekend, Ron and I took a road trip to Albany, New York, to visit two of our dear friends, Jeff and Mariko. Jeff and Ron are best friends from college. They met freshman year through the Ithaca College Television News (I’m being serious). Jeff was news director during their senior year, and Ron was the main anchor (nerd alert!).

Not much has changed since then—both of them are still working in the news, and their favorite thing to talk about is still . . . you guessed it, the news. They’re borderline obsessed when they get together. Mariko and I let them carry on about the news for approximately one hour each time we all get together, and then we put a moratorium on it for the rest of the trip. She’s much nicer than I am, though, and sometimes she lets them get away with more than just an hour.

So anyway, we drove to Albany for the weekend and had a great time (even though it was freezing cold and windy). Jeff and Mariko were such wonderful hosts—they bought me diet Coke and Woodchuck Cider, my two favorite beverages! They’re getting married in Boston in May, so 2009 will be a very exciting year for them as well. It’s been fun to share the wedding-planning process with them, especially because Jeff and Ron will be in each other’s weddings. Now that Mariko and I have wedding plans to discuss, we can talk about that while the boys talk about news, so it worked out quite nicely this past weekend.

Jeff and Mariko have gone to a ton of weddings this year—seven total. And next year they have another friend’s wedding, our wedding, and their own wedding—and that’s just until June! Mariko is definitely a pro at wedding etiquette by now, so we thought it’d be fun to come up with a list of do’s and don’ts for wedding attendance.

Do bring a card to the wedding even if you’ve ordered the gift online ahead of time. Lots of couples will have a place for cards on the gift table and will really cherish the sentiment.

Don’t wear white or beige or any color that can be mistaken for white or beige. This may seem like common sense, but I’ve seen it happen on more than one occasion.

Do take a lot of pictures and send them to the bride and groom after the wedding. They’ll appreciate it more than you realize.

Don’t spill red wine on the bride. I’ve seen that happen, too.

Do strike up a conversation with someone you don’t know. You never know what you might learn.

Don’t be overheard saying something negative about the bride’s dress. Or the flowers, or the food, or the music. Save it for the car ride home. (I swear I’m not making this up!)

Do be sure to thank the bride’s parents.

Don’t complain if you have to sit at a head table without your date (or vice versa).

Do save the wedding program. It helps when you have to think about making your own.

Don’t drink too much and forget to say goodnight to the bride and groom.

Do tip the bartender.

Don’t wear flip-flops unless you’re going to a wedding on the beach.

And finally, do give the bride and groom a big hug and a kiss!


Eleni, a local bride-to-be, writes every Wednesday about planning her wedding, which will be in Washington in the spring. To follow her adventures from the beginning, click here.

If you like reading about Eleni, make sure to check out our other blogging bride-to-be, Lisa Marie, who writes every Friday. Follow her adventures here.

To read the latest Bridal Party blog posts, click here.