I can’t explain why, but each February I find myself contemplating and second-guessing every aspect of my life. From my career to my hairstyle, I always become a bit uneasy in February, and this apprehension has brought me to a contemplative state when it comes to the wedding.
Sitting in bed one lazy Sunday morning, I began to think that maybe I didn’t really love my dress. Maybe I forced the inexpensive dress to be the dress I adored, and maybe I’d given up the search too early. What about the bridesmaid dresses? Were they really the right feel for the venue? And the caterer—were we being naïve to think we could actually make her work in our price range? These questions swirled in my mind with the other dozens of questions about the other parts of my life.
One thing I’ve always struggled with is to trust my own decisions, and this entire wedding is composed almost entirely of things that I personally chose. Even when I was younger, my mother always described me as a strange mix of confidence and self-consciousness. Now, my self-conscious side was racing through what others’ opinions would be of the choices I’ve made for our wedding. Would they be judging the centerpieces or the menu choices? Would they scoff at our charity favors and our bar selection?
I voiced all these questions to Andrew, who has experienced my wavering emotions more than once before. As for my dress, which he has never seen, he told me that when I came back from the store that day, I was still glowing from the excitement of finding my dream dress. Regarding every other wedding detail, he reminded me why I’d chosen that element and why he supported my choice. He agreed that everything I’d chosen felt like the right thing for us, so does it really matter what anyone else thought?
See, the one thing that I’ve never questioned is whether I’m marrying the right person, because when I get in this state of mind, Andrew seems to be the only constant that I never doubt. Regardless of any bad decisions I make, wedding-related or not, I know he supports me and loves me, which is all that matters in the end.
Lisa Marie, a local bride-to-be, writes every Friday about planning her wedding, which will be in Washington in July. To follow her adventures from the beginning, click here.
If you like reading about Lisa Marie, make sure to check out our other blogging bride-to-be, Eleni, who writes every Wednesday. Follow her adventures here.
To read the latest Bridal Party blog posts, click here.
