Diana’s I Do’s: The Groom Gives Advice

Diana’s been detailing the steps of her wedding planning, but today she lets her partner in crime speak up and offer his point of view.

All of the topics I’ve covered so far are about everything I’ve been doing and things I’ve learned along the way. However, as this is the beginning of a partnership, I think it would be short-sighted to leave out one of the most important opinions: my fiancé Ben’s. Like most guys, Ben started out with a very simple view of what it takes to plan a wedding and has since, let’s say, “learned the ropes.” So, fiancés and fiancées, here are some pointers from my groom:

Now that Diana and I are less than a month from our wedding, she thought I might have some good advice to pass along to other grooms-to-be. I can speak only from my experience, but I hope some of you find this list of pointers helpful. From one groom-to-be to another, here goes: 

If you’re like me, you might have thought planning a wedding was as simple as picking a date, a place, a caterer, and a band or deejay, and sending out some invitations. Oh, how wrong I was. Now, I’m sure there are people out there who have planned a wedding as simply as that, but I think the majority of wedding plans are more complicated. Do your best to not become overwhelmed by the flood of decisions you had no idea your bride would ask you to weigh in on. Instead, let yourself feel her enthusiasm for picking the perfect stationery and you’ll have more fun viewing paper samples than you’d ever thought possible. (Full disclosure: I had very little to do with our stationery, but Diana did a great job without me.)

Be careful with your criticisms. Your bride is probably putting in more hours planning the tiniest details of your big day than you’ll ever know, so when you step in and make a quick judgment on something she’s spent days thinking about, don’t be surprised if she gets upset. Try to keep in mind that she’s doing a lot of work so you don’t have to, so always be appreciative. Even if she’s made some decision you’re not 110 percent happy with, just keep it to yourself or share your feelings in a thoughtful way so she can understand where you’re coming from.

Spinning off from that last note, don’t whine when your bride asks you to do something. More likely than not, it’s not that hard compared to what she’s been doing. Be a man and oblige her. If you absolutely can’t do it at that moment, find a nice way to say so.

I was going to say that the most important rule would be to just ‘do as she says,’ but on second thought I think the most valuable piece of advice is to just have fun. Keep your sense of humor, and don’t take any of the craziness of your wedding planning too seriously. The engagement period is a time you’ll only get to enjoy once (assuming you don’t go through wives like Larry King), so embrace it as an adventure.

Read Diana's story from the beginning, here

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